What if...

Chapter 4

AN: Sorry for the tease 😉

Even after kissing her a million times on the show and not always remaining strictly professional there, kissing her now, for real, felt unlike anything David had ever experienced before.

When he took her in his arms, he felt like their bodies melted into one. She fit his arms so perfectly that he thought ever letting go of her would be physically impossible. Her lips moving against his felt so familiar, yet crazily exciting. Because this was really them, they could lay it all out without hiding behind their characters.

When she opened her lips as an invitation for him to intensify the kiss, she let out the tiniest of moans, which was most likely the sexiest sound he had heard in his life. When their tounges finally met, it felt like a shot of fire was running through his veins.
After what felt like a few seconds, but might as well have been minutes, he felt like he was getting lightheaded. He was not sure if he was being intoxicated by her or if it was simply a lack of oxygen... anyway -  he did not dare to end the kiss, fearing to break the spell.

So instead, he tightened his grip on her waist and sucked in a breath when he felt her hands move from around his neck to his chest, below the collar of his shirt. One hand was now grazing the skin on his collarbone while the other one was already working on the first button of his shirt.

When she undid the first two buttons and softly caressed the upper part of his chest that she could access, he had gained the courage to let his hands slide down to her butt to press her closer to him. He had never thought for this to go beyond a simple kiss, but he was only a man, right?

He moved his lips away from her mouth, to her cheek, to her ear and then down to her neck. As he gently sucked on it, he could feel her body tense up.

He stopped in his tracks and looked at her. On her face, he was a mixture of all kinds of feelings: love, lust, happiness... and a hint of guilt. There it was. Even though it was hardly true, he whispered.

"I'm sorry..."

Jen, still flustered, first touched her own lips before she lay her fingers on his to stop him from talking. The she said.

"Don't be... I think we kind of had that coming... I am sorry, David. I don't think I can do this..."

"Why?", he interrupted her, "I think it is quite obvious we want the same thing. This is not just a crush for me. I can't even tell you how much I missed you this summer. And I think that nobody has the right to tell us this is wrong..."

"That's easy for you to say, you have just done this huge movie and as soon as the trailer for that will be out, you can basically do what you want. But for me? It's not like that..."

"Oh come on Jen, don't talk like that. You know you are brilliant and everyone here can be lucky to have someone like you on the show. Plus the way everyone is crazy about Ross and Rachel, do you really think that any of the producers would have it in them to end that storyline by writing one of us off?"

"No, but I just... I have been struggling with getting jobs for years... and all I basically have at this point is this show... I know it's probably just a matter of time until another great project to prove myself comes along... to build something besides this thing here... but I don't want to spoil my chances at this because there is gossip about me being unprofessional..."

"Unprofessional? What?!?", he interrupted her.

She gripped his hands tighter, bringing them up to her her chest, before she replied to that.

"Ok, this sounded so much better in my head. That is not what I meant... I think you and I both know that this is NOT a random hookup between 2 co-stars. But for me, right now, at this point in my career, it is not about what I FEEL this is, this is about what people potentially giving me work THINK this is... and I don't know if I am brave enough to take that right now... I think I need time... and then there is Tate... I don't know if I can do that to him... he's a great guy..."

She tore her eyes away from him to look at the floor, and this time, it was him gripping her hands tighter to pull them up to his chest, making her look at him again.

"Jen, I thought it was clear, but maybe not, so I am going to say it now: I LOVE YOU. I never felt that way about anybody in my life before. And something is telling me that you feel the same for me. And I agree with you that Tate is a great guy, but do you really want to just settle for that?

He could see tears were beginning to form in her eyes.

"I know you worked hard for your success, and I would gladly wait for you to say that you are ready to take this step with me when you say you need more time to feel comfortable enough with your career... I would always support that. I would wait for you, I would be with you in secret... whatever you need... but PLEASE promise me not to settle for him unless it is what your heart wants..."

He kissed her on the forehead and then said:

"I don't expect you to make that decision now. And I want you to know that I won't let get things awkward between us whatever you decide. Take your time... I just thought you needed to know..."

He could see her mouth a silent "Thank you". Then he took a deep breath, shook the tension off, and while he unlocked to door, he said:

"Alright Jen, see you tomorrow."

Then he stepped out and closed the door behind him, not able to turn around and look at her again. He knew then and there that he would give her whatever she needed to make this work, even if that, for now, mostly meant she needed time to think.