Three Wishes

Fluffies and Fantasies

How long have I been doing this? Peso wondered behind the pacifier, it's blue bulb bobbing contentedly up and down inside his mouth. Yet another one of the Why's and How's and What's of being him.

WHY did everyone at school have to be such a bully?

WHY had his father been so horrible to him?

HOW COME his mother waited until Pinto's birth to divorce him? WHY didn't she do it much sooner?

And WHAT was rape? And HOW did they get his new number? (Or his old one, for that matter?)

How long HAD he been doing this? Not long, really, although it seemed longer. But in the grand scheme of things, it had been a lifelong pursuit of his to be a Little, and he'd always been showing the signs of one. At least his mother never pried. Not even Pogo knew, and he usually knew...more than most. Not everything. Just more.

Sighing, he flopped onto his bed and hugged his only teddy bear close, thinking about doing some online browsing, where he would flip through websites that advertised the strangely popular Little items and dream about having them. Just dream, knowing he couldn't. Too risky. In a number of ways.

But something else greeted him today. A large, clearly photo-altered picture of him pinned to the ground by two of his older, bigger classmates as they tore apart his favorite stuffed fish and drew baby tears on his face "So he would always be the Crybaby he was. And he could never pretended to be anything different." They said. If anyone was a crybaby pretender, it was them!

Usually, he squashed his feelings. They never got him anywhere. But here in the safety of his Little Space, he allowed himself to cry, flipping helplessly, almost addictedly, through the forum that supported #DrCrybaby, and all the other mean names they'd been calling him over the years.

And his best friend...to think she was the one ringleading all this for years...

NO. NOT his best friend. She didn't deserve that title.

What hurt more was the fact that she didn't care about what she'd lost. 

He sighed again, and flopped back, tossing his phone into a drawer. Every time he blocked one of them, another would pop up. He would never be able to stand up for himself without them laughing in his face...how would they like it if he didn't take THEM seriously?!?!?!

And WHY did they have to make absolutely sure he knew about it all?

He rolled over and looked at the sunny ocean, wondering what would happen if...NO. NONONO. NO. He would never.

No more secrets. They were secrets for a reason. They stayed secret.

But still. He could enjoy them himself.

The Next thing he knew, he was walking across a boardwalk, carefully keeping his head down. He wore, instead of his blend in cold suit, his favorite, light blue overalls with the white teddy bear on the pocket. Where eh was going, he wanted to blend in...

This store was the most colorful one on the block. Peso wished everything could be more colorful, but he'd learned that too much color could be a bad thing. However, pushing those thoughts aside, he allowed himself to enjoy it as he opened the door and walked into the scent of baby powder and the sound of cooing little children. He took a deep breath in...home and Heaven...

The shopkeeper gave him a tender smile and friendly wave as he passed. He looked, as he knew well, like just another little kid in the crowd. No suspicions over what a teenager was doing here alone. Or why said teenager had a baby face, pudgy belly and diaper waddle. Sometimes, having Male Turner Syndrome, as it was often called to shorten, came in quite handy. He had to admit. If he didn't, he'd be lying.

He turned down aisle after colorful aisle, browsing for anything interesting. Of course, what caught his attention the most was a two for one sale on stuffed animals and dolls. Peso took in their soft, fluffy presence, daydreaming about what it would be like to be a child again for real, playing carefreely with these soft little friends. Finally, he chose a classic bear, with colorful, fluffy fur and a bunny doll, which wore a school like uniform and came with her own assortment of outfits.

No harm done.

For once...and he hoped to keep it that way...

The clerk gave him a squeeze on the cheek as he left, something he usually hated, but he let it slide this time. It was finally time for some real playtime....of his very own.