Disequilibrium

Part 2: Sophomore Year - Scene 4

David's sick in the hospital. I don't find out until I've walked my ass all the way to their house after school. Elizabeth—who was supposed to be at her daughter's house by this time—answered the door with her hair all dishevelled and her eyes droopy, looking honestly surprised to see me standing at her doorstep.

"Oh, Holden!" she exclaimed, putting her hands on her mouth like she might puke. "I completely forgot you were supposed to come by today. Oh dear. David's in the hospital, you see. I've been running back and forth like crazy."

I suppose I didn't have the right reaction on time, because there was a moment where she stared at me for two whole minutes with this mortified and confused look on her face.

Finally, I feigned surprise and made my arms slack by my sides, saying, "Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear that, Elizabeth. What happened?"

"His blood pressure's acting up again. The doctors don't know..." she took a pause. "They think it's a fifty-fifty chance he'll make it this time."

"Do you want me to go home, then? I can tell you're not in the mood for this. Or maybe I can come in and keep you company." I cracked a small smile. "My dad tells me I make some killer tea."

It doesn't take much to make tea, son, David would've said, but Elizabeth's eyes got all gooey like I'd just proposed.

"Oh, Holden, that would be wonderful! You're such a sweet boy."

The last thing I wanted to do was make her fucking tea, but soon enough I'm in front of the kettle with two tiny china cups waiting to be filled. Elizabeth is sitting on the living room couch with the phone in her hand, talking to her daughter who's at the hospital.

"Oh dear," she would say once in a while, then start rubbing her forehead like her husband would show up at the door if she did it enough times.

I stop the kettle early, pour hot water in the cups, and take the two over to her. It takes a moment for Elizabeth to hold it steadily. Her hands are shaking.

"What did your daughter say?" I ask before taking a sip of the tea, soon regretting it when it scolds the tip of my tongue.

Elizabeth shakes her head and stares down into the steaming cup. "Nothing has changed much. She tells me he's still..." she takes a breath and brings her hand to her throat. "What am I to do, Holden? I've been with him since high school. I can't even think about life without him. What am I supposed to do?"

I don't realise how goddamn stupid she is until then. How the hell am I supposed to know what she should do? I'm still fifteen for Christ's sake, and it isn't like I'll get married anytime soon. Hell, I may not get married at all.

I still take her hand from her throat and give it a squeeze, pretending to understand even though the situation is far beyond me. If he dies, will she let me go? Will I be without a job in a few days, possibly a few weeks? Would he leave me anything in his will? You're like the grandson I never had. That's what he told me. That's got to mean something, right?

"Oh, poor thing. You look pale," Elizabeth says. How long has she been staring? "Don't worry, Holden. David's a strong man. He'll spring back up any second now, okay? You look sick; why don't I take you home?"

Can I still get paid for coming here? I nearly ask her, but decide against it. I'm not sure if she can see how pissed I am for the time wasted walking there in the first place or if she genuinely thinks I feel terrible for David's illness. But she still offers me a ride home. She insists, so I abandon the tea and slip on my shoes.

Elizabeth's a better driver than David. She works the wheel like its second nature. When I question her about it, she giggles a little before explaining that she worked in the postal industry for a bit. Then she goes off moaning about David for the rest of the ride, so I tune her out.