Dangerous Game

EPILOGUE

Enjoy ❤️

Amaya POV

I look at the clock hanging on the kitchen wall and a sigh escapes my lips.
I go over to the sink and set out to prepare lunch.
I grab a long knife and start slicing the onion to prepare the sauté for my famous ragù.
Bucky and the boys love it.
While in thought I slice the onion my gaze falls on my left hand.
Wrapped around my ring finger, a simple black vibranium ring gleams, as black as my sergeant's arm.
I shake my head smiling.
In the end we did it, Bucky and I got married a year ago.
It was a very intimate celebration.
It was just us Avengers, His Majesty T’Challa with his family and the man who has been my family for the last twenty years.
Nick Fury.
We said yes in front of the lake, the same lake in front of which Bucky had asked me to marry him many years before and I had refused.
But over the years we have grown, we have changed.
And we understood, I understood that this was our path.
It was one of the best days of our life.
Nick accompanied me under a small arch of flowers that served as an altar, none of us wore elegant clothes.
We weren't going to be ourselves.
I advanced on Nick's arm wearing my simple white silk knee length dress.
Barefoot.
As I've always dreamed of.
I still remember the pleasant sensation of the grass tickling my feet.
Bucky was waiting for me with his chest swollen with pride and his eyes full of tears.
He was really breathtakingly beautiful.
The hair that now brushed his shoulders was gathered in a messy bun that touched the base of his neck.
He wore baggy white linen trousers with a short-sleeved shirt of the same fabric and color.
When I reached him we fixed ourselves in the eyes and he, like me, dissolved in tears.
Nat obviously was my bridesmaid and Steve was Bucky's best man, we could never have chosen otherwise.
And so wrapped in the sunset sky of Wakanda and the love of our dearest friends, we exchanged promises of eternal love.
I look up at the clock again.
Damn.
I must hurry.
It's almost noon and Bucky will be home in a few minutes.
Yes, home.
In the end we did that too.
We bought the house that he dreamed of so much and we filled it with our beloved Alpine, with our two dogs Thunder and Dodger and with...
A patter of footsteps approaches behind me followed immediately after by the ticking of small paws that resound on the parquet.
“Mommy!Mommy!" yells his little voice behind me.
A beaming smile spreads across my lips as I grab a towel to dry my hands and turn in the direction of that delightful voice.
"What's going on Nick?" I ask, bending over my knees, lowering myself to his height.
I observe my beautiful baby in raptures.
Nicholas Michael Barnes.
Yeah…in the end I did that too.
For a moment I get lost in the memories of that day.
I hadn't succeeded.
I hadn't been able to do it.
In the exact moment that Dr. Miller had made me listen to the loud sound of his heart, I realized how screwed I was.
Moments before starting the abortion procedure I burst into tears and asked the doctor to stop.
I could not.
That tiny creature was my baby.
And I felt alone for so long that I couldn't do it, in front of me I had the possibility of having a family.
I, Bucky and I would have been the family for this child.
The same family that was unjustly taken from me.
When Bucky walked into the room and found me in tears he ran to hug me.
His words still ring loud and full of love in my ears.
"I take care of you.Forever.But please don't cry my love.Everything will be fine, I promise you.I will always be on your side no matter what.You are my home and my family" he whispered in my ear as I was dying of anxiety over the decision I had made.
Terrified of the idea of failing.
Scared that Bucky would complain.
And he did.
We have been discussing this for weeks.
"Bucky please stop" I whispered wearily one afternoon after we returned to the Avengers Tower from a follow-up ultrasound.
“I know you think I did it just for you, so as not to lose you...but that's not the case.I'll be honest with you.If the doctor hadn't given me that ultrasound that day, if I hadn't heard his heartbeat, I would have aborted without any hesitation" I told him looking him straight in the eye.
"But when I felt his heart beating I realized that I would never forgive myself" I continued approaching him who in the meantime remained sitting motionless at the edge of the bed.
I sat on his lap and tied my arms around his neck.
“Maybe this baby will be my lifeline.It will be my atonement for every sin.It will be our chance to leave something good in this world” I whispered on his lips.
He had smiled shyly and then closed me in his strong embrace.
And now here I am.
Watching this wonder that Bucky and I created.
Nicholas is a smart and intelligent kid, he looks a lot like his father both physically and in character.
His beautiful face is fringed with short, unkempt black hair but his eyes are just like mine.
Greens.
Green like two emeralds.
"Mommy?" my baby repeats to me, placing his little hands on my face.
"I'm sorry honey, mom got lost in her thoughts" I reply sitting on the floor cross-legged and making Nick sit on my lap.
"What were you thinking about?" he asks me tilting his head to the side and observing me intensely, just like his father does every time he studies me trying to understand what is going through my head.
"I thought how much I love you" I whisper kissing his head and holding him to my chest.
"What did you ask me my love?" I ask him.
"When is dad coming home?" he asks me pouting adorable.
Pout that I kiss promptly earning a loud yuck from him.
I laugh in ecstasy.
"Dad will be here in a minute" I reply and his eyes light up with joy.
Nick loves his father.
Impatient I sigh.
After five days I will finally be able to hug my beautiful Sergeant again.
He had to leave with Steve and Sam for a representative visit to colleagues from the English division of S.H.I.E.L.D. and as deputy director he certainly could not miss it.
Job that Steve had proposed to me with joy, sure that I had accepted and that instead I gladly gave in to Bucky.
“Bucky and I are going to have a baby.I prefer to be a full-time mother.If that is not a problem director Rogers”
With these exact words I refused his offer.
Refusal that obviously was welcomed with great joy by everyone.
The right decision I could ever make.
Watching Nick grow up and being able to follow him in every stage of his life was of fundamental importance for me, for my mental health.
It was not easy to raise a child with my problems but in the end with the help of Bucky and all our friends I made it.
I found my way to be a mother, a good mother.
A noise of tires in the driveway catches our attention.
Alpine immediately jumps onto the windowsill while Dodger and Thunder run like mad towards the front door.
"Daddy is home!" Nick exclaims with a scream.
I smile at his enthusiasm.
"Yeah, daddy is home" I repeat as I stand up and together with Nick, holding hands, we approach the front door.
The dogs jump happily while waiting impatiently for their owner to cross the threshold of the house.
Nick watches the driveway through the curtain and begins to jump for joy.
"Uncle Sam is there too!Uncle Sam is there too!" he yells giggling.
I take a few steps back with my arms crossed in front of my chest.
I too am impatient to jump into his arms but let our baby be the first to do it.
The door opens and Bucky is literally hit by three small hurricanes, finding himself with his ass on the floor.
"Daddy!Daddy!You're finally home!You're finally home!” Nick keeps repeating as his arms are wrapped around his father's neck.
Thunder and Dodger wag their tails excitedly licking Bucky's face non-stop.
Bucky's laughter fills the air and my heart swells with joy.
This is one of those images that will forever remain etched in the memory.
My husband's crystalline and joyful gaze lifts up to meet my eyes.
In the meantime, Sam makes his entrance and smiling, he approaches me hugging me.
“What a good smell Snow!I'm starving” Sam exclaims once our embrace is released.
“I cooked  your favorite one” I exclaim proudly.
“Oh really?Tagliatelle with ragu?"
I nod in response and earn another hug.
“Hey Wilson!Hands off my wife” Bucky's voice exclaims behind me.
Finally he managed to get up from the floor and while holding Nick with one arm, with his free hand he approaches the windowsill to leave a caress on Alpine's head too shy and haughty to join the fray a little while ago.
He approaches with a sure-footed step making my heartbeat skyrocket.
After so many years this man is still able to destabilize me with just his gaze.
Sam lets me go laughing and going to meet Bucky takes Nick from his arms.
"Hi champion!How is my beautiful nephew?" Sam asks him hugging him tightly.
Nick laughs and wraps his slender arms around his neck.
"Hi Uncle Sam!" he exclaims between laughter.
Bucky wraps his strong arms around my waist pulling me hard against his firm body.
“I missed you Mrs. Barnes” he whispers on my lips.
And then without even giving me the time to reciprocate the greeting he pounces hungry on my lips.
His tongue slides smoothly into my mouth, stroking mine with infinite sweetness.
I moan softly in his mouth, aware that our son is just a few steps away from us.
Bucky slowly pulls away from my lips leaving me stunned and ecstatic.
“Save this for tonight doll” he whispers in my ear.
"Yes sir" I reply with a sensual wink.
I look around at Sam who is watching us with a raised eyebrow.
“Thank goodness Nick is still too little and he can't understand.Instead, you will have to pay me for years of psychoanalysis” he reproaches us, making Bucky roll his eyes.
"Let's go guys!Wash your hands and let's sit at the table” I exclaim smiling as I approach Sam and playfully push him.
Once we are all at the table, amidst laughter and old anecdotes, the lunch comes to an end.
Bucky leans back in his chair, sated and entranced by the food.
Sam imitates him by closing his eyes and throwing his head back.
"Snow, you are a woman to marry" he murmurs with a sly smile.
Bucky appears to be on the verge of answering him but Nick takes everyone by surprise.
“Mum belongs to dad.Nobody can marry her.Only him” he replies as he sits on the floor and continues to stroke Thunder.
We all burst out laughing.
"This is my boy!" Bucky exults leaning towards him and kissing his head.
Sam and Bucky start chatting to each other again and I feel fear starting to curl around my guts.
My hands tremble slightly and to distract myself I get up and start clearing the table.
“Leave it alone, doll.I'll do it” Bucky tells me.
But before he can get up, I push him back into the chair.
I respond by shaking my head.
"I do it.And then there is still the dessert" I tell him trying to hide the anxiety as best I can.
Bucky looks at me closely but says nothing.
He's probably saving the questions for when we're alone.
Sam looks at me skeptically, raising an eyebrow.
"Since when have you been able to make desserts?Am I wrong or the last time you tried it you were going to set the kitchen on fire?" he asks me exchanging an amused look with Bucky.
They both laugh out loud.
In response, I throw him a napkin, taking him full in the face.
"Idiots.And anyway I bought it" I answer piqued.
They have the point.
Unfortunately it's true.
I manage in the kitchen but when it comes to desserts I become incompetent.
I open the fridge and take out a white box closed with a red ribbon and place it right in front of Bucky.
He looks at me confused.
"Do I have to open it?" he asks as Nick approaches intrigued sitting on his father's lap.
I nod unable to speak, at the moment I don't trust my own voice.
I'm too upset.
Bucky smiles at me and with his son's help they untie the red bow together.
The box opens to reveal a large cupcake.
Sam looks confused and amused at the same time.
Bucky smiles and looks at me as if he's looking for a clue from me on what to do.
"Oh c’mon!Cut that cupcake in half” I urge him.
My foot begins to drum nervously on the floor.
Bucky grabs the large cupcake in his hands and breaks it in half, immediately realizing that there is something inside.
"What is dad?" Nick asks while Bucky grabs the object that until a moment ago was hidden in the cupcake.
He watches it for a few moments and then realizes.
Sam sitting next to him gives him a couple of pats on the back with a toothy smile.
Bucky for his part continues to observe the pacifier that he holds between his fingers.
He doesn't speak.
He doesn't smile.
It looks like a pillar of salt.
"James please say something" I whisper with my heart beating madly.
Its roar rings impetuously in my ears.
And then suddenly Bucky sinks his face into his hands, his shoulders shaking with little sobs.
We are all stunned for a moment, even Nick seems to be frightened by his father's reaction.
Sam immediately understanding the situation gets up.
“Hey buddy I left a present for you in the car.Would you like to accompany me to get it?"
My son's eyes light up immediately and jumping off his father's legs he dives into his uncle's arms.
Sam smiles at me briefly and after giving Bucky another pat on the back he comes out of the kitchen disappearing from my view.
I get up immediately and join my husband.
I sit on his laps forcing him to free his face from the grip of his hands.
"You're pregnant?" he asks me in shock even though he knows the answer very well.
I nod and his shining eyes fill with tears again.
"Do you want to keep it?" he asks me hesitantly avoiding my gaze carefully.
"James?" I call him softly as I brush a lock of hair from his forehead.
His beautiful blue eyes are fixed on mine.
He looks almost scared.
“And do you think I would have spent seven dollars on a stupid cupcake?You know how much I hate this fuss but I wanted to do something nice for you.At least for this time..." I whisper, thinking back to how chaotic the discovery of Nicholas' existence was.
Bucky smiles at my statement.
"How the hell did this happen again?" he asks wrapping his arms around my hips.
"I don't know" I admit laughing.
"Call it fate, karma...I don't know but it happened.The pill failed again" I reply with a shrug.
We are both silent for a few minutes.
“Are you sure Amaya?I don't want you to feel compelled.Didn't you say you were thinking of going back to work?" he asks me.
I sigh.
“Yes, I had thought about it but I don't feel like it.I have spent most of my life between death and pain and now I am tired.I'll always be an Avengers and if the world needs me I'll always be there but for now, as long as possible, I'd rather stay home and take care of you, Nicholas and this baby" I murmur, touching my belly with my fingertips.
Bucky's hand overlaps mine, caressing our sweet treasure with me.
“This time I'm ready James, I'm more ready than I was for Nick.I mean, look at him” I tell him, nodding at Nick who is playing on the large carpet in the living room with Sam.
“He is a healthy and intelligent child.He is happy.In the end I think we are doing a good job” I add smiling.
"You did a great job Amaya"
I cut him off immediately shaking my head vigorously.
"We have.You and me”
Bucky's smile widens.
"Maybe it will be a girl this time" he murmurs, kissing my lips softly.
I smile at the thought.
We both hug enthusiastically and excited about this new adventure.
Sam, holding Nick in his arms, joins us again.
His eyes scan the whole situation and his tense gaze relaxes and gives us one of his most beautiful smiles.
"So...can I congratulate you?" he asks, unable to stop smiling.
“Yeah Sam.We'll have another baby” Bucky exclaims, releasing a laugh full of joy mixed with tension.
I get up from his legs and take my baby in my arms so that the two men can hug.
“You know, soon you will be a big brother.You know what that means?" I ask, turning to Nick who looks at me with his serious eyes, so deep that they seem to conceal the secrets of the universe.
He shakes his adorable little head.
“It means you'll have a little brother.Or a little sister” Bucky intervenes, ruffling his hair with one hand.
Nick seems to be thinking about it, he thinks about it carefully.
And then he asks his question.
“How can a baby be inside your belly?Have you eaten it?"
I smile sweetly at his words.
He is only four years old so I have to find the most suitable way to explain it to him.
"Well...your dad put it there" I try to explain to him, remaining vague.
Bucky laughs but I shut him up quickly with an elbow in the stomach.
"And how did he do it?"
Ok.
Nicholas is an extremely curious child and now his questions will come in flurry until he is truly satisfied with our answers.
"You know what my love?" I tell him looking him in the eye and passing it back to Sam.
Sam grabs Nick and gives me a fiery look.
“Uncle Sam will explain how babies are made and how babies born” I add.
Sam begins to sweat.
Bucky continues to laugh unable to stop.
"Now my husband and I are going up to the terrace to relax a bit so you can talk between men" I tease Sam.
"Don't you dare Snow" he threatens me but I don't look at him and grabbing Bucky by the hand, who now laughs with tears in his eyes, I drag him up until we reaches our small terrace overlooking the wonderful New York skyline.
"You will pay for this!" Sam yells behind us.
Then we hear him stammering nonsense phrases addressed to our son.
Once we reach the terrace we sit on the fire escape, as we did when we lived at the Avengers Tower.
"We'll have to buy a bigger house" Bucky sighs happily.
“Yep.I think we'll be a bit tight here" I assert giggling.
Bucky's Vibranium arm wraps around my shoulders and his free hand rests delicately on my belly.
I smile at his sweet gesture.
"I never imagined this life for us in the least" I whisper, continuing to scan the horizon.
"I know" Bucky whispers in response.
"Are you repentant?" he asks.
"No" I reply quickly, one hundred percent sure of my answer.
"I love you.I love this new life of mine.Of course I didn't think in the least that I would end up being a full-time mother and wife and if you had asked me years ago...I would have laughed in your face and sent you to hell but now, now I can't imagine a life where I'm not your wife.A life without Nicholas.A life without this baby who has yet to be born.I told you this many years ago at the beginning of our history and I repeat it to you now.You are my most beautiful mistake Barnes”
Bucky smiles at me bringing his big hands to my face, his thumbs rubbing the skin of my cheekbones.
His clear and mesmerizing eyes point to my lips that open automatically at the thought of what is to come.
Bucky's thumb rubs my bottom lip and then he lowers to my lips kissing me softly.
"You too are my most beautiful mistake Snow"
We remain hugged in silence.
"You know...I don't know what life has in store for us yet but I'm happy to be able to pass it next to you James" I whisper catching his attention.
“You already know.It's the same for me.You and our children are enough for me to be able to live in peace”
We spend the next few minutes exchanging tender effusions and sweet words of love.
Sam joins us about half an hour later.
He has two beers with him, hands one to Bucky and keeps the other for himself.
"I hate you.Both” he murmurs, letting himself fall between my husband and me.
"Did he wear you out with his questions?" Bucky asks with a chuckle as he sips his beer.
“That child is stubborn but in the end he let himself be convinced by the story of the seed that dad plants in his mother's womb.Bees and flowers didn't work.Now he is sleeping and I have laid him down in his bed” he explains with a sigh of resignation.
I shake my head in amusement.
Ours will certainly not be a normal family but I love it for what it is.
A totally and beautiful mess.