"Fuck..." I muttered seeing Regulus take place down beside me.
"How did you know I was here?" I asked him, looking out to the sky rather than facing him. He seemed to be doing the same.
"I didn't." He responded softly. His voice was always so calming to hear. He always spoke so elegantly even if he had his voice raised.
"I come here some nights, to just... breathe." He confessed, and I took his words to be truthful. I did the same.
"I didn't realise your life was that difficult." I commented instead, and he rolled his eyes at me to which I smirked.
"You wouldn't know." He told me, and I could sense resentment in his tone. There was more to him than I knew. I realised that.
"You're free to share." I responded, looking back out to the sky. I didn't want him to feel pressured. Merlin, why did I care? He didn't even like me.
"We're not friends." He said repeating my words from today, and I rolled my eyes.
"I didn't meant that." I told him truthfully, and I could feel him staring at me intensely. He hadn't expected my words.
"Well, I did." He replied coldly, and I could almost see the smirk from the corner of my eye.
I let out a groan, banging my head against the the railing.
"Do you ever feel like everyone you know is pressuring you into becoming someone you don't want to?" He asked me. I frowned, opening my mouth to respond when he cut me off.
"Do you ever question with every aching moment why you're never enough for your parents?" My mouth shut as I realised what he's doing.
"Do you compare yourself to everyone in your life, because even if you're at the top, you know there's someone better?"
I looked down at my lap.
"Do you ever wish, things could've gone differently?"
"Or that your brother didn't leave you alone with your abusive parents?"
My heart beat a little faster at the hurt in his voice.
"We had our roles, and I played mine to perfection, but Sirius..." he trailed off. "He never did a thing my parents asked him. He didn't pretend to love them like I did." This felt too personal for me to hear, and so I shook my head, refusing to hear anymore.
"Stop." I muttered.
He ignored me.
"But I did love him. I risked everything to protect him from my parents." He sort of scoffed to himself, and I turned to him, noticing that he held some type of letter in his hand.
"If I wasn't their perfect son, maybe they wouldn't have been so kind to him." It was my turn to scoff.
"Kind?" My heart was going crazy. "I've seen the scars. How is that kind?"
Regulus chuckled dryly, lifting up his sleeve to show me scars, similar to the ones Sirius had.
"These are nothing, compared to what they would've done to us, hadn't I convinced them of my potential to serve him." This was getting into dangerous territory, but I wanted to hear more. I needed to.
"Do you want to serve him?" I asked, almost scared of my own voice. Everything was loud. My whisper felt like a shout, and Regulus' confession felt like a blade to the heart.
"I want to be free." Regulus said, turning his body to face me and I noticed him put the letter in his pocket. "I want what my brother has." He placed his hand on mine.
"I look at you all, and I see pure love, devotion, and honesty. I never had that." He shook his head, his voice shaky. "I want that..."
Regulus looked gorgeous. I had always known him to be beautiful, but I felt like this was the first time I had really seen him.
A part of me wanted to believe that he was telling the truth. I knew whatever relationship I had with Thomas would never last, but it was nice to be a pretty little fool for a while. It was a nice distraction, but maybe it was time to come back to the reality I was living in.
"So yes, my life's not difficult. It's beyond that." He finished, and we ended up really close to one another. I hadn't even realised his hand had crept up to cup my face.
"I'm- I'm going to break up with Thomas..." I whispered to him, and he looked uninterested.
"Yeah?" He hummed, moving a piece of hair out of my face. Oh, Merlin.
"Might I help in speeding up the process?" He grazed my lips, and any moment of hesitation or uncertainty about this was gone straight out of my head. I wanted this. I actually wanted this?
He broke the small distance between us, allowing our lips to connect like the last pieces of a puzzle. The feeling was unlike anything I had felt before. His lips were so soft and yet he was aggressive. He was not hesitant or timid. It told me that he was as sure of this as I was. That he wanted this moment to be remembered.
His hand moved and rested behind my neck, pulling me closer than I thought possible. His thumb pressed into my throat, his grip on my neck carefully getting stronger.
When he pulled away, I was breathing heavily and left in a complete mess. He kept his lips close, neither of us willing to open our eyes and come to realisation of what we had done.
"Your heart is racing." He whispered against my lips. I let out a breathy laugh.
"You should take that as a good sign." I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. He responded by placing a gentle kiss to my lips before pulling away.
I opened my eyes to see him already looking at me.
"I don't think we have the ability to be friends." He spoke, though not in the manner of rejection.
I watched him wordlessly as he stood up from the ground, offering me his hand.
I took it, and he helped me up, pulling me into him and kissing me once more. He let it linger, before muttering "goodnight" and leaving me alone on the Astronomy Tower.
Merlin. What's Sirius? What's Thomas? I only know Regulus.
I think I floated back down to my common room. Cupid had given me a lift.
I got into my dorm, grateful I didn't alert Lily or Marlene who were sleeping.
I don't think I've had a better sleep. I woke up feeling refreshed and happy. Even Lily noticed.
"Why are you all smiley?" She asked, and not being able to tell her what I happened I just sighed lovingly.
"I had the most wonderful sleep." I told her, and it was true that that attributed to my good mood.
"Alright, weirdo." She muttered, going into the bathroom to get ready for school. I knew she would take a while so I'm glad I've already brushed my teeth and done my hair.
I used my spare time to go to the boys dorms and check on them all. I even brought some left over sweets Marlene had stored.
I didn't bother to knock, and I knew the door would be unlocked so I walked in.
