Tips, Resources and Reviews for LGBT

Random LGBTQI+ things: Dividing the community

Sometimes it feels like we all need a history lesson, and a basic 'what is culture' lesson, too. I have been reading about the use of 'stud' and the issues it creates in terms of cultural appropriation. 

What got me was not the normal racist crap, or the various pseudo-academic comments about the use of 'stud' in the 1800s. It was not even the fighting about who can be oppressed and who cannot, as if any particular group has the monopoly in being oppressed or being the oppressors. What got to me was the notion of 'dividing the community'.

Spare me your holier than thou attitude!

The community has always been divided! We just have to accept that. Issues relating to gender and race and religion and everything else have always been dividing lines. Sharing a pride event, that most people don't even know what it's about, does not make for a big happy family. That is a fantasy. 

Unfortunately, it is also a fantasy that is damaging. Discrimination within the community has been as strong and as painful as discrimination against the community. 

And when we say 'community', we tend to be very specific about it, even as we keep it as vague as possible. The community in New York and London and Berlin and Beijing and Lagos is not the same community. 

Our commonality is one of oppression, not one that necessarily comes from within. And that is true of many other communities out there. It has more to do with what defines us individually and how we have been treated by others, rather than necessarily the feeling of integrally being part of a belonging.

We are human and humans need communities. When the one we are born within rejects us, we seek to find another one. And the fear of renewed rejection means that we tend to try the community nearest to us. At the same time some compatibility is better than no compatibility, so we accept the gatekeeping and try to mould ourselves to this new almost-compatible community. 

And that means that there is a lot baggage in this train of ours. And some of us have first class tickets and some of us end us in the bicycle carriage. Same train but very different experiences.