fansign ᝰ enhypen ✓ (poc reader)

my-log: black letter

NEVER DID I THINK THE TIME WOULD COME...

where I have to look down at my younger brothers corpse at the morgue...

I don't recall much after I identified Geun's body. I left the room. Lea tried to comfort me. I told her I wanted to go back home. She took me to my dorm. And I sat in dark silence.

I didn't cry the entire time I was at the hospital, until I was alone in my apartment. Only then did I let myself scream and sob, nearly choking on my tears until I couldn't breathe anymore.

I'm sure I could be heard in the hallway. But I didn't care.

How did this happen? He was fine just two weeks ago. He was playing soccer and eating meat and running through the fields. How...How did he suddenly pass with no warning?

I think I cry for 3 hours straight, from 6 p.m. when I got home, until 9. There were times where I would cry so loud that I hurt my own ears. Times where I made no sound as I cried. Times where I just laid curled up on the floor quietly. And times where I punched the pillows on the couch or kicked the wall or threw pictures of Geun around.

I'm angry at him. How could he do this? He knew he was dying, he must've known. Why didn't he tell me ahead of time? What was he thinking?? How long was he suffering for?? If only...If only I knew...

My apartment is now a mess. I've thrown every book off my shelf, every picture frame onto the ground, yet something still stands out to me. The moonlight shining through my balcony window acts as a spotlight to it, it sitting pretty on the ground by the couch.

"..." I'm breathing heavy. My eyes are swollen and my face is most definitely red with fury. If now isn't the right time to open it,

then I don't know when is.

I drop to my knees and quickly grab the black envelope Geun gave me as a birthday gift. I rip it open and pull out a folded piece of lined paper, and the entire front page is filled with his handwriting. I already want to cry more, and I haven't even began reading.

I crawl to the couch, as my legs are weak and my arms are still sore. I wipe my eyes and push my hair off my damp forehead, taking deep breaths. Geun...I hope what you've written in this letter, will make me forgive you. Because right now, I despise you for leaving me with no final words.

Dear y/n, my beloved sister.

If you're reading this letter, it is most likely because I lost my final battle. Otherwise, STOP READING RIGHT NOW, Y/N! This isn't the right time!!!

...Did you stop reading? Have I died yet? Yes? Okay! You may proceed reading!!

I already know you're probably furious with me. You're assuming that I knew when I was going to pass away, correct? Well, you're right. I'm writing this all the way back in January, just a week after ENHYPEN invited you to work for them.