same old love ~Tom Holland

XIV.

Y/N was woken by the shrill sound of her door bell ringing making her rapidly sit up in bed. She groaned when the bright light of the day shone through her window and right into her tired eyes making her squint. When she swallowed, she could still taste the aftertaste of the alcohol and following that the symptoms of an obvious hangover. Y/Ns head was pounding and her neck hurt as she stretched her stiff limbs and the ringing hit her ears again so she crawled out of bed and trotted out of her bedroom and to the door like in slow motion. The bell was now ringing more impatiently and Y/N rolled her eyes groaning and speeding up to open the door.

"Fuck me!" She groaned as she opened running her hands over her tired face and looked up into the blue eyes of Harrison. He couldn't help but chuckle at Y/Ns state. Her hair was a total mess; knotty and all over her face, the imprint of the cushion still visible on her left cheek and dark circles under her eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Y/N whispered pulling a face as Haz pushed past her dragging a bag with him. "Here's your stuff. You're welcome, bro!" He chuckled as the door closed and she turned around to him looking at the bag and back at him. Y/N just groaned frustratedly stumbling over to the kitchen counter and pouring herself a glass of water emptying it instantly and filling it to the brim again. "You look terrible!" Harrison stated as Y/N leaned down on the kitchen counter placing her forehead on the cold marble only now realizing she was absolutely baking in her t-shirt and sweatshirt layered so her aching hand pulled the first layer off just letting the clothing fall to the floor not bothering to pick it up.

"Thanks." Y/N groaned ironically closing her eyes but she heard him approach her taking a place on the bar chair on the other side of the counter looking at her with a worried expression. He had just been able to catch Tom who had been rush-packing before he left this morning but he had just briefly explained that they had a fight before him and Harry were picked up to go the airport. Tom had seemed distracted and downcast, not like his usual self. He hadn't said much more about Y/N before he had given Haz the address to Y/N flat and showed him where her stuff was.

"I'm supposed to tell you from Tom that he's gone now." Harrison stated carefully watching Y/N look up at him and let out a shaky breath nodding slowly. "He left this morning." He added watching her empty the glass of cool water halfly avoiding eye contact with him. "I know." Y/N just simply answered feeling her insides churn at the realization that it was now actually over and there was no alcohol left in her blood to forget about her feelings.

Silence fell over the room as Harrison narrowed his brows and Y/N turned around to look into her fridge even though she wasn't hungry so after letting the cool air hit her still warm skin, she closed it again now not knowing what to do with herself. She didn't have any uni today and there was no one to entertain her because Haz surely had work of his own to do.

"What happened with you two?" He broke the silence and her glance fell to the floor, her lips pressing together like to seal her lips and prevent her to talk about anything that happened. "Because he wouldn't tell me much but I was hoping you could tell me more." Harrison shrugged pouting his bottom lip and finding eye contact with Y/Ns realizing they were slightly red even though she hadn't cried at all.

"There's not much to know!" Y/N sighed tapping her fingers onto the kitchen counter shrugging it off. "It's over and that's all that matters, right?" She asked rhetorically but Harrison was going to answer anyways. "Well, no. You guys are the perfect match. Everyone sees that!"

"We were. Things change." Y/N just simply added pushing away from the kitchen and walking over to grab the bag that Harrison had brought with him. "Thanks for my stuff. You can go now!" She flipped him off with her back turned to him as she walked back to her room. His face turned even more confused as to why she was being so rude to him now too. Why was she so...different all of a sudden? Haz figured they must have had a fight and Y/N was still mad at, presumably, Tom. But why? Over what could they have possibly been fighting because only four days earlier they had all met up and the two had seemed perfectly happy and in love. So Harrison didn't get the sudden anger at each other. Y/N had the same vibe than Tom; very closed about what happened not wanting to talk about it. Tom didn't want to talk because he was somewhat scared that people were going to agree with her words and he didn't want to ruin others perspective on Y/N because the last thing he needed right now was his friends choosing sides on them.

And Y/N didn't want to talk because she, on the other hand, was afraid of realizing she had made a huge mistake which was already happening even without her repeating it to someone. And that feeling would only increase as time went by, the longer Tom was gone and the longer Y/N would be alone overthinking her actions on long nights in which she would eventually give up and let the tears flow as she cried herself to sleep in the early hours of dawn every morning.

But Haz didn't know that. He had no idea of the depths Y/N was going through right now even though she looked exhausted and worn out. He didn't know she was finally breaking and that would be the end but the beginning of her mending. Because in some sick way, she had to be ultimately broken before, very slowly, mending the pieces again.

"I said you can leave now!" Y/Ns voice shouted from the other room pulling him out of his thoughts and Haz' head turned to the bedroom door as she started unpacking the bag and placing the clothes into her wardrobe. "What if I don't?" Haz shouted back hearing Y/N sigh and stop what she was doing to step back into the room standing in the doorframe tilting her head at him and crossing her arms. "Look, I know you're one of my best friends but please; I want to be alone right now! I just don't feel like talking to anybody right now. Not even you, Haz!" She pleaded stepping over to him with hoping eyes but he didn't budge.

"Just give me an answer; what happened?" Harrison repeated himself and Y/N sighed shaking her head clenching her jaw. If this was the way to make him leave for now, then she would give him minimal answers to his question. "We had a big fight." She sighed slumping down on a bar chair next to her best friend who turned to her listening and processing every word she was saying.

"About what?" He asked again when Y/N didn't continue but inhaled deeply closing her eyes for a quick few seconds before looking at Harrison from the side. Her face was serious and she was debating telling the truth or even lying to him but she couldn't come up with anything so spontaneously so Y/N was either left with telling the truth or not saying anything. And what were even the right words to explain what happened? Y/N had a manic episode filled with aggressions and anger and she let it all out on Tom and shouted at him, he shouted back and she said things that probably shattered his heart and then she left him?

"We both changed so I..." Y/N started speaking slowly and carefully. "You what?" Harrison asked again looking at her expectedly as their eyes met each other. "I...left him." She finished her sentence giving a slight shrug and Y/N could clearly see the disappointment in his face as a long sigh left his lips. He still didn't understand; Tom was still that loving guy who, Haz knew, had loved Y/N, who had been so happy to have, not just someone, but her by his side to be with. He had thought Y/N was also pretty much the same, funny but sarcastic, open-minded and smart girl she had left London as all those years ago. So what picture had they painted of each other that was so different from them eight years ago? Eight years older and eight years wiser, right?

"I-I still don't get it!" Harrison sighed in an unfortunate tone just getting a helpless shrug back from Y/N. Doesn't matter because it doesn't involve you!" She just hit him straight back turning her face away from him so she wouldn't see his face turn into confusion again, even hurt that his best friend didn't want him around when she was supposed to be going through a hard time. But Y/N honestly seemed unfazed by everything and Harrison too, knew something was up. Something more than a break up that must have been a cause.

"Well, it does affect me though if my two best friends brake up and seem to be fighting!" He said raising his voice slightly and throwing his hands in the air as his body turned to Y/N looking at her even though she just stared straight ahead. "I'm sorry, Harrison." Y/N whispered looking into his pale blue eyes before leaving to her bedroom again without another glance. "Please just leave, Haz!" She just added before disappearing behind the door to continue to unpack her things deep in her thoughts.

He let out a defeated sigh pushing himself off of the chair and onto his feet his fingers sliding over the cold marble of the counter as he stepped to the door knowing he also wouldn't get much more out of Y/N than he did from Tom and he would just have to wait until one of them was going to talk.