We were walking to school, I was with some of the girls, who were trailing behind Professor Bitch.
"Whaddya think, Professor Bitch? Is the gear we got yesterday awesome or what?" Yada asked.
"Right?" Okano agreed. "Mr. K sure knows how to kick things up a notch!"
"FYI, I had a teeny bit of input in the overall design." Professor Bitch chuckled.
"This is news to us." I said, getting my microphone out of my school bag. "Mind if I quote you on that?"
"Does she carry that thing around everywhere?" My female classmates' sweat dropped.
"No, but you should be grateful I did so. That oaf wanted the same style for the whole class." Professor Bitch said.
"Glad he vetoed the 'Irina.'" Okano sweat dropped.
"It's cute, just not super functional." Yada said.
"The boys stare enough as it is. Throwing that thing into the mix'll be enough to bring all the dogs on a leash." I pitched.
"Yeah, well." Professor Bitch defended. "'Least one of your teachers understands women."
"Who isn't a total pervert." I sweat dropped.
"Blockhead couldn't even be bothered to get me a present." Professor Bitch mumbled as she walked into the school building.
"Huh?" We all said in unison.
"Oh, no! Of course! October 10th was four days ago!" Yada gasped.
"Huh? Professor Bitch's birthday!" The other girls and I chorused. We formulated a plan. First, Kataoka and Okano, along with some others, got Professor Bitch out of her office so we could talk to Mr. Karasuma.
"Man, those two are lucky to have us around to push things along." Okajima said.
"He isn't called Da Densest for nothin'." I sweat dropped.
"We're a go." Marhara said, talking into his phone. "The Fox and the Hound have been separated." I peered through the window one more time and felt the last sensation I wanted to feel. My skirt was being lifted up.
"Do you wear fancy stuff like this all the time, Saiko?!" Okajima asked, I knew he was the one to do it. I knew Maehara had perverted intentions and was a playboy, but he still had standards. "Or for someone special? 'Cause if it's the last one, I'm flattered by this attempt to seduce me."
"Who said I even have a romantic interest in you?" I asked, putting my skirt down and glaring at the pervert.
"Then who are you trying to seduce?" He asked.
"I'm just wearing fancy undergarments and the first thing you think of is seduction?!" I yelled.
"Ooooh, I get it." Maehara said as both he and Okajima held devilish smiles.
"Is it for Muramatsu?!" They sang at the same time. I furiously blushed before growling. I slapped both of them across the face, before straddling Okajima and smacking his face even more.
"And a few more for lifting up my skirt, you pervert!" I screamed as I took Maehara's phone. "This is Saiko. The boys are out of commission for a while." I explained as they groaned.
"Right, let's do this." Sugino sighed. "Now what exactly are you supposed to get someone who already has two of everything?" He hung up before I could give my smart remark.
~Time skip~
"Wow! Then what?" Yada asked. "Is there some magic word that brings a Frenchman to his knees?"
"What's with you today, Toka?" Professor Bitch asked. "You've never been so enthralled; you're hanging on every word."
"Well, yeah, I wanna learn French." Yada defended.
"Hey, Miss?" Hara asked, a keyboard secured in her hands. "Can you play piano for us like you did at the hotel?"
"C'mon, Professor Bitch!" Sugaya urged, holding a pencil and canvas while Okajima was snapping pictures. "Let me draw you in one of your killer poses!"
"Hold on, I asked her first, y'know!" Okano exclaimed.
"Do you know any more moves like the Kiss of Death?" I asked.
"Why do you wanna know?" Takebayashi asked.
"Well, it's been effective on my opponents so I figured I'd try something new." I explained. Everyone but Professor Bitch and I gasped.
"You've used the Kiss of Death?" Sugaya asked.
"Yeah. I used it on Itona." I explained.
"Itona?!" Everyone but the teacher and I yelled in unison.
"Yeah. While my friends and I were trying to calm him down, Yoshida flew him into a bush, then after that Terasaka called him stupid, causing him to wig out." I explained. "I didn't know what else to do. I was only helping a friend. But enough of that story, c'mon Professor Bitch! I know you got all the goods locked away!" I whined. We all started clamoring around our teacher.
"Ha! Don't fret my little darlings!" Professor Bitch yelled. "There's enough Professor Bitch to go around! Just don't get turned on. That would be crossing the line."
"Okajima." I said. Professor Bitch started playing the piano when Yada's phone buzzed that everything was a-go. We made up excuses and left Professor Bitch in the woods.
"Wait, I... Come on, you don't all have to leave at the same time." Professor Bitch said. We all watched the scene go down from the window, so far so good. All of a sudden, Professor Bitch marched to the window and opened it, revealing our spying asses to her.
"Oh. Hey, there." Nakamura said awkwardly.
"Well, we're screwed." Yoshida said.
"No shit we're screwed." I mumbled.
"I figured you had to be behind this." Professor Bitch said. "A bouquet of flowers, huh? Like the square would think of doing something like that for me of his own will." She shot a bullet up, making Korosensei yelp and fall off the roof. "You enjoy yourselves? Stringing me along so you can watch a pro assassin get her pathetic little hopes up."
"That's not the case at all, Miss Irina!" Korosensei pleaded, a bunch of photography equipment secured in his tentacles. "The children's intentions were utterly pure-"
"Save it, Octorazzi!" She yelled. She started to leave but she had a look in her eye, one that isn't mistaken by someone who gives up all hope for something. I hopped through the window and ran to her, giving my teacher a hug.
"We were only trying to make you happy." I pleaded in my bimbo voice, my eyes unknowingly starting to drift apart.
"I know your bimbo act better than anyone else, Gashadokuro." Professor Bitch said, pushing me away. "Stop lying." With that, she left while shoving the bouquet into Mr. Karasuma's chest. "You've opened my eyes. Best birthday present ever. Thank you."
"Not to point fingers or anything, Mr. K, but that was kinda cold of you, don't you think?" Maehara asked.
"Don't tell us you still haven't noticed how she feels?" Okano asked.
