Little Journeys

One night (chapter 8)

"Samantha, baby." I hear Kayley say beside me.

"Hmm?" I reply casually.

"You do love me don't you?"

I almost stumble over the path wondering if I had those words right. We had been dating a little while but to use the L word already, well it just seemed way too soon and I had absolutely no idea how to reply.

"Sorry Kayley what did you just say?" I reply acting a little stupid.

"Forget about it" Kayley replies sounding a little upset.

I hadn't wanted to hurt her and I knew that she knew that I had heard exactly what she had just asked me. It was too soon. But perhaps I should have just replied so my non reply wouldn't hurt her. In my heart I didn't love, not yet anyway and I wasn't sure if I would. I loved spending time with her but I guess that's a lot different to loving someone with all their heart. I loved spending time with Jess and I loved her like a friend but the love of a partner. 

I hadn't even realised we had walked several blocks whilst I was having an internal debate in my head.

"Oh we're here?" I ask as if the house had just appeared from nowhere in front of us.

Kayley frowns and looks directly at me forcing me to look into her eyes. "You're alright aren't you Samantha?"

"Of course  I am, what makes you say that?" I lie.

"Was it what I said?" She asks.

I didn't want her to know that I had heard her and that I had pretending not to so I? continued up the lie.

"About what?" 

"Never mind. Should we go in?" She asks not pushing it further.

"Come on then. I am thirsty for a drink" I smile grabbing her hand.

Of course no one was there yet, as Jess's best friend it was my obligation to turn up early and help with setting up the party.

"Sam!" Jess squeals, giving me an extra tight hug. "And Kayley too!"She smiles at Kayley briefly giving her a fleeting hug. "Do you think you could do me the biggest favour and help get some bottles from the garage Kayley?" Kayley's blank expression suddenly turns to a smile as she heads of in search for the bottles. "Is everything ok?" Jess asks me when Kayley is out of earshot.

"Of course it is, why wouldn't it be. Living the dream Jess, living the dream."

"Just...well you and Kayley walked in like you had just met each other for the first time at a friends wedding, you seemed pretty cold towards each other."

I laugh, Jess was my best friend after all, she had a sixth sense for these things.

"She ask if I loved her."

Jess's mouth drops  a little as she attempts to form words.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing..."

"You ignored her!" Jess laughs out loud.

"Well when you put it like that... I just kind of pretended I didn't hear her. How could I when I have feelings for someone else and I don't actually love her."

"It will be ok Sam. Things will work out just like they're supposed to in the end, you wait and see" Jess says giving me another tight hug. "Love you" she whispers. "Just don't pretend you didn't her that." 

I pull back punching her lightly in the arm. "Shut up. But love you too."

Kayley returns with the drinks from the garage and our friends begin turning up, hopefully making the situation a little less awkward.. It was our last big party we would all have together before the end of high school, so it was going to go out with a bang. I watch Kayley mingle with some of the seniors she already knew. I casually hang back patrolling the party and being nosy to who had arrived. But I knew all too well who I was looking for when Luke arrived with Ivy. Ivy looked completely lost in the now heaving crowd in Jess's living room.

I smile. "Hey, you made it!" 

"Oh hi Sam, great party" she replies awkwardly.

"You don't really mean that do you? You look lost here." I look at Luke. "Luke be a gentleman and get Ivy a drink will you." Ivy smiles at me and my heart jumps just a little. She follows Luke leaving me once again alone in the crowd. I sigh and turn around to see Jess doing tequila shots with some football guys, I just shake my head knowing I'll be picking up the pieces tomorrow morning. For some reason I didn't feel like drinking but for the sake of Jess I wanted to have fun so I pick up a beer and walk over to a free stool. I sit there for what felt like hours but what was probably minutes staring at my bottle before I hear a voice in my general direction.

"Shouldn't you be having fun or something?" They ask. I look up to see a girl from my physics class, I think I remember he name being Rachel.

"I'm trying" I say waving my half drank bottle at her.

"Obviously not hard enough" she laughs. "I thought you were here with Kayley."

"I was. I am" I shrug

"Well at least come and have a dance" she pushes.

After  a minute of her persuading me I finally give in. "Ok" I sigh. "But I probably won't enjoy it" I grin. Rachel rolls her eyes before chuckling.

"Come on then" she says grabbing my hand and pulling me amongst the heaving mass of teenage bodies.

After five consecutive songs of mind numbing beats a song comes on I actually know and kind of liked. "I know this song! I like this song!" I also make  a mental note of helping Jess next time she has any kind of party with the music.

"Same!" Rachel shouts over the top of the music and voices. She grins as she enthusiastically holds my hands to dance to the song.

I feel something on my shoulder but ignore it just assuming it's another party goer bumping into me. The second time the tapping becomes harder and more persistent. 

"Seriously what the hell is your problem..." I swing around cutting off the end of my sentence as I see it was Kayley. "Oh sorry I just thought it was someone else..." I apologise. She did not look happy, I wonder what could have happened. "What's wrong? Has something happened? Are you ok?" I ask worried.

"It will be as soon as you stop dancing with her" she points directly at Rachel who had only just noticed Kayley. 

"Why?" I ask.

"Because I don't want you to" she spits out. I could smell the booze on her breath.

"You're drunk" I say stating the fact.

"And you're a slut" she slurs.

"What the hell! You disappear all night and then get possessive over me dancing with a friend. If you want to treat me like your possession you can leave."

"But Samantha..."

"Kayley, stop making a fool of yourself in front of everyone. So please leave my friend's house now."

"Samantha please" she sobs. She suddenly looked like the Kayley I had come to know.

"Sorry Kayley but no" I say as she turns around to leave. "And Kayley" she turns around. "By the way it's Sam not Samantha."

Kayley turns back around and walks through the crowd, disappearing amongst our friends. I didn't know how I felt. I still had adrenaline running through me from the confrontation. I began to think that maybe I should chase after her but I decided not to. I feel Rachel put her hand on my shoulder.

"Are you ok?" She asks. 

I just nod. Suddenly I hear a scream followed by raised voices coming from one of the other rooms.

"Sorry I got to go and see what that's about." I start running towards the direction of the scream.

Ivy appears from nowhere pushing past me with Luke following behind hysterically laughing. Ivy briefly pauses looking distraught. I look down at her top. 

"Is that sick?" I ask.

"My top is ruined" Ivy cries.

Jess emerges looking drunk.

"I'm so sorry Ivy " Jess slurs.

Ivy runs away with Luke chasing after her, leaving me with the mess that was my best friend.