When our parents lay awake
Do they know who they raised
Do they know they raised kids who are just as scared to live as they are to die
Kids who yearn for old age because many of them think they won't make it there
Because I know that when it's 3am and I'm wide awake
All I can think of is that I wasn't supposed to make it to 12
As I approach 13 I wonder what changed
I wonder what flip switched
I wonder what I found
Because I don't know
I fear that by 14 I'll return to my old habits
Maybe then it would still be different
Maybe I would go on late night walks to numb the pain
Maybe I wouldn't be alone
What have my parents raised?
Is it a monster
Or a scared child that wants to be free
To let go of the terrible feeling of consciousness
To not make it to 12
Oh
What have our parents raised?
