PULLING TEETH {Billie Joe Armstrong)

🖤 Eleven 🖤

Courtney's p.o.v

"Thanks for driving me, Billie." I said as the car pulled up in front of the hospital.

"No problem, Courtney." Billie replied.

"See you later.". I opened the car door and stepped out onto the sidewalk. I was nervous as I walked into the hospital, knowing that there was a chance Baz wouldn't be alive anymore.

But he was. When the receptionist told me his room number, I felt a little better.

I walked to his room and entered.

"Baz?" I said.

"Courtney?" he replied, still laying down. "Is that you?".

"Yeah.". I stood at the side of his bed and noticed how bad he looked. "How are you?".

"I'm dying.".

My heart skipped a beat. "What?" I asked, staring into his eyes, hoping maybe I'd misheard him.

"I'm dying.".

"No, c'mon, Baz, you can recover! You're only 16!".

"No, Courtney." Baz said, his voice beginning to get scratchy. "I was lucky to live through the crash. I'm dying. I can feel it.".

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't've let you drive.".

"Don't be.".

"You shouldn't die like this... I wish it would've been me.". I started to cry so much it made me shake. I felt guilty, and I really did wish it would've been me who was about to die. "You don't deserve this," I choked out. "I do.".

"No... you don't.".

I looked at the heart monitor and noticed it gradually getting a little bit slower. I knew I didn't have much time left with Baz.

"I'm sorry, Baz. I'm so fucking sorry." I said, wiping my eyes. "And I wish we had more time together. I'm gonna miss you.".

"I'll miss you, too.".

Baz's eyes started to close. "No, don't go!" I cried.

He forced his eyes open and looked up at me. "I can't stay." he whispered. The heart monitor he was hooked up to began to go crazy, beeping. All of a sudden, 4 or 5 doctors burst into the room.

One of them pushed me across the floor.

"Hey!" I whined. "Let me stay!".

"No, young lady, we can't have you in here right now." he said, shoving me out the door.

As I stood outside the room, I heard someone shout "We're losing him!". Then the heart monitor stopped.

What I heard next was someone say "He's gone.".

I broke down into tears and fell to my knees, sobbing. My body shook with sobs that rang out through the hospital corridor.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Honey, I'm really sorry." I heard a woman's voice say. "I'm really, really sorry.".

I ignored her and kept crying for a few more moments. Once I finally recollected myself enough to stand up, the woman was still there. She extended her hand and helped me up.

"I'm sorry." she said again. I glanced at her nametag, which read 'Flo'.

"No, don't be sorry. You tried, that's all you could do." I sighed. I turned around and made my way out of the hospital. It was raining when I got outside.

As I stood in front of the hospital, in the rain, on that August afternoon, suicide ran through my head. I considered what I'd lose, and I thought that I wouldn't lose much.

So I walked through the rain, to the bridge where me and Baz used to do heroin.

The river down below wasn't very fast, but it was a big drop into shallow water and hard rocks. Maybe that would do me in? I didn't know. And I wouldn't know if I didn't try.

I sighed and took my phone out of the pocket of my sweater, and I sent a text to Billie.

Hey, Billie. If you're reading this, I'm probably dead. I just want you to know that you are one of the few things in my life that doesn't make me want to kill myself. Thanks for everything.

I hit send, and read it over a few times. I looked down at the drop below me.

I sent Billie one more text.

Goodbye