CROSS MY HEART // dystopian romance

7. war is also defeat.

That day, when I came back to my bunker and unlocked the gate, I had an issue. The key got blocked, and I couldn't close the door entirely. That door is old. Dysfunctional.

Genius that I am, I locked the gate with a big metal lock and chain. I thought it would keep the Dead-Alives out, and I was right. The problem is, I didn't think about the waterproof sealing that broke.

The same night, I hate myself instantly as I wake up with my feet in cold freezing water. I hate myself for not thinking of flooding, or rainstorms and the lake near the bunker. First there is self-hatred, but then soon after, panic.

My bunker is being flooded by a violent storm in the middle of the night. And just as I think it cannot get any worse, the fucking emergency alarm goes off. It's so loud, I have to cover my ears in pain.

"Fuck !" I shout but the alarm makes it nearly impossible to hear myself.

I make my way to the gate as the water grows higher, until my thighs. I'm wearing my white tee shirt and pajama shorts, the water is extremely cold against my bare skin. When I get to the entry and the stairs, I gasp in horror. An enormous torrent of water is bursting down in the bunker through the gate.

I have too many things to think at the same time. I have to be fast and smart. The alarm is so loud it can be heard miles away, and the Dead-Alives will hear it too. I'm terrified, but I don't have time for fear. I don't have the luxury to dwell in it. If I'm too slow, I either die drowning, or devoured by Dead-Alives.

My breath is out of control, but adrenaline keeps me going. I navigate through the water all the way to the cabin, to grab some clothes and my bag. I shove some stuff in my bag. My converse, some pairs of socks, some jeans that I don't have time to put on. I stop by the bathroom, take some of my stuff too. I don't have time to take a knife, because when I get to the kitchen, a violent current of water splashes me and pulls my head underwater.

When I come out and take a deep breath, I realize the water level is now above my waist. I start ventilating. This is not good. Ah ! Euphemism. Every minute that goes by is a minute closer to death.

I'm trying to climb up the ladder to get to the gate, but I don't have anything to force the lock, it's all in the kitchen. And the kitchen is now completely flooded. Now, I hate myself again. What a fucking moron I was to lock myself up.

There's a zombie apocalypse going on, and I'm going to drown to death. That's some pathetic death. So pathetic I start laughing frenetically. I'm hitting the gate and trying to get it to open completely, again and again, and laughing in pure nervousness.

By the time the water had gone up to my shoulders, and I was floating in it, my laughing crisis turned into crying. I'm there, full on having a panic attack, and I'm trying to calm myself down. But I can't.

Suddenly, a hand slips through the slightly open gate. At first I think it's a Dead-Alive, but then I hear muffled sounds of people talking. The alarm is still going off like crazy, and I know that those people are trying to communicate with me but I can't quite catch what they're saying. Now they're trying to open the gate, forcing it, and I'm full of hope.

"Please..." I sob uncontrollably, trembling and trying to keep my head above the water. I don't even have time to feel pathetic anymore. I'm just so afraid of drowning.

It's funny. I'm twenty years old, and most times I usually feel like I'm thirty, but right now, at this exact moment, it feels like I'm seventeen all over again. I'm a teenager, holding on for dear life, trying desperately to escape imminent death. Only this time, the only thing at stake is my own life. My dad and James aren't there.

The alarm is going quieter now, because it has a time limit. I can hear the voices from the other side of the gate.

"Hold on ! We're getting you out of here !" a young voice I've heard before says.

"Mihan ?" I shout over the water crashing sounds.

"Yeah ! Hold on, Heart-Slayer !" he yells back. "Big Ben's real strong, he's gonna get you outta here !"

"I can't– I can't breathe !" I scream the same words until my throat hurts. The water is now only leaving room for my face, and I'm touching the ceiling, trying to breathe as much air as I can.

"I can't..." I'm cut off short mid-sentence. The water wraps its claws around me, and I'm fully submerged. My lungs are burning.

After some time fighting with all the strength left in my body, I give in. I feel the water replace the air inside me. I only stay conscious long enough to feel a firm strong arm wrap itself around my waist and pull me up.

But I don't react. I don't think. In a way, I'm already dead.