Breaking Generational Curses

Autobiography

Teresa was 17 when she had her second child, Tasia Nyanza Johnson-Bedford. Sadly, I was taken at birth because my mom had an open CPS case with my oldest sister Nyasia. She was 16 and, in the system when she had her and since Ny was medically fragile, had a feeding tube with serious health issues, the state gave her an ultimatum; it was either release the rights of Ny or fight for the both of us and potentially lose use both. Her decision was based on knowing Ny would be in good care and still be in her life until she got on her feet. The state, the lawyers and the foster family deceived my mom and Ny got adopted. As bad as I want to think this all started when I was born, it wasn't. In fact, my mom also grew up in the foster system, was homeless and raped. My siblings and I were born into a long history of mental health disorders, neglect, and trauma that the system could've been prevented but didn't. They failed yet another African American adolescence when all she needed was support, guidance, discipline, and love. At a young age she had to survive based on what she knew. She couldn't get help because everyone thought she was crazy and she didn't want help because no one would believe her which in the end, did nothing but hurt not only her, but also her kids. But thanks to her, she's the reason I'm right where I need to be today. No, my childhood wasn't perfect, it was quite the opposite unfortunately, but she took a risk, settled with being called the crazy lady and let her children go so we could have opportunities she didn't have. So, we could have a home and be kids, so we could be surrounded by love and support that she couldn't provide only being a kid herself. With all odds against her, she did what she needed to do for us even if that meant hurting herself. Even from a distance, with no communication my mom did not play about us! It sucked seeing her pop up occasionally, but she showed her face when it meant the most like graduations, and birthdays and went back into the shadows since we were so angry. She always understood and was never mad, and always gave us a chance to reach out when we were ready. Looking back, she was our guardian angel and was always protecting and watching over us trying her best to make sure the system didn't fail us like they failed her. In my eyes, that was powerful, selfless, brave, and strong of her. Of course, I wasn't always open minded about the whole thing. In fact, there was a time when I didn't want anything to do with her since I blamed her for my rough childhood but because of her, I'm able to break those generational curses.