BL Oneshots (Asian)

WangXian

Theme: ShOvEl TaLk

"So, what's this about?" Jin Zixuan said as Jiang Cheng grabbed both his and Lan Wangji's arm and dragged them to the back hills of Cloud Recesses. 

"Both of you bitches are dating my siblings." the 2 in question stared at each other, confused. 

"We're married--" "THAT DOES NOT MATTER RIGHT NOW! YOU BOTH ELOPED WITH THEM!" 

"Jeez, no need to yell, Jiang Cheng." Jin Zixuan said, rolling his eyes as he started fiddling with his hair and his sword. 

"You bitches married my siblings and I'm here to threaten you!" Lan Wangji looked at him intensely. 

"You do know that Wei Ying would kill you if you even broke a piece of hair on my head, don't you?" he said smoothly. Jiang Cheng glared at them. 

"This is the shovel talk! I'm giving it now because I didn't get the chance to do so because as I said before, YOU FUCKING RAN AWAY AND ELOPED WITH THEM!" he growled. Both of them shrugged.

"It wasn't just our decision. It was theirs too. I told Xichen-ge before we left. It's not my fault that Wei Ying didn't tell you." Lan Wangji said. 

"Are you blaming my brother?!" Jiang Cheng bellowed. 

"No. I'm blaming you for being such an asshat that he felt like he couldn't tell you." Lan Wangji said. 

"Yeah, I agree with Wangji. What the fuck did you do to my wife and brother-in-law that was so bad that they didn't even tell you they were getting married, hmm?!" Jin Zixuan said, glaring at Jiang Cheng with furrowed eyebrows. 

"I--HOW DID THIS TURN INTO A SHOVEL TALK FOR ME?!" Jiang Cheng exclaimed, pulling at his hair. 

"You know what? No. I know who can actually set you both straight. A-Jie! Shixiong! They're here!" Jiang Cheng said, turning and yelling. In a minute, Wei Wuxian landed from Suibian on the ground, Jiang Yanli holding onto his arm as he carried her. 

"Hey guys! Here to join the shovel talk." Wei Ying said, then walked over threateningly to Jin Zixuan, pressing his hand to his chest and shoving him lightly into a tree. Jin Zixuan's eyes widened in fear. 

"Listen here you bitch, that's my older sister you have there, do you understand?! If you hurt her, I will pull out every single one of the bones in your bodies, crush them, and then shove them back up your ass, got it Peacock?!" Wei Ying growled. Jin Zixuan nodded quickly. Wei Ying then looked up and knocked the Peacock's headpiece lightly, causing it to tilt and walked back over to his siblings. 

"Lan Wangji. May I have a word?" Jiang Yanli said in such a sweet voice, everyone knew it was fake, and that hell was coming to pay. Lan Wangji visiblly gulped, nodding. She gestured for him to sit as she pulled out a picnic basket from her Qiankun pouch. 

"A-Xian is my little brother. He's not always had a good life. I hope you understand that there may be fights or arguements that could hurt you both, but what will matter is that you solve them together and live harmoniously together." Lan Wangji nodded earnestly, sipping the tea as she pulled out an apple to cut. 

"I know you love him. He loves you too. I know he adores you, but I will not hesitate to take you out of his life if I feel that for even one moment, he feels as he did before." Yanli said this as she stabbed the knife into the apple, making it very clear. For the first time in his life, he saw Yanli glare at someone, that someone being him. 

"If you hurt him, know that an army will come for you." she said. He gulped, nodding. She smiled once again, placing the sliced apple down and putting it on a few plates. 

"Come, I got food for everyone!" she said brightly to the other 3 standing there with their mouths hanging open. 

"Did I tell you how much I love you? I love you loads Yanli, so so much." Jin Zixuan said, causing her to blush and lean into his chest as he sat down, putting an arm around her. Wei Ying on the other hand simply plopped into Lan Wangji's lap shamelessly, causing his younger brother to swat at his arm while making obnoxious sounds. 

"Shijie is scary, right? Do you finally believe me now?" Wei Ying giggled to Lan Wangji, who gulped, nodding at his husbands words as he pulled him closer. Then a thought struck him and he smirked.

"Just wait until brother has his talk with you." he said, causing Wei Ying to freeze. 

"LAN ZHAN!"