"shit. where am i?"
reedus said as he woke up in a dark room. he tried getting up, but it seems that he was tied to a chair. suddenly, the lights turn on, and he's greeted with the sight of jake paul. jesus christ, he looks musty as hell.
jake: the boss will see you soon.
reedus: the-The who now????
jake: SHUSH! keep your mouth shut until the boss arrives.
reedus: who the fuck are you? musty ass dirty ass stinky ass blond bitch!
jake: you..!
jake paul pulls out a gun, but before anything's done...
"put the gun down."
holy shit. it's y/n. a feared crime boss, they've killed an estimated 1,000 people, usually through ridiculous or comedic means. remember that story about a boy band found dead in a sunken boat? it was on the news for WEEKS, and there's a rumor that y/n caused it.
y/n: norman reedus. american actor. do you know why you're here?
reedus: no i fucking don't
y/n: you've been chosen to take part in an experiment. you'll be staying in a cell with someone else. follow me.
reedus follows y/n until they reach the cell. looks like someone else's already there. holy shit. it's andrew lincoln.
y/n: this is epic rick. oh, and while you're here, you'll be referred to as reedick.
reedick: what the fuck?
epic rick: ah, reedus! my old friend!
y/n closes the cell door, and says...
y/n: the experiment will begin now.
reedick: wait
y/n: hm?
reedick: you're a mafia boss right
reedick: what's up with this mad scientist bullshit
y/n: we'll get to the mafia part later. for now..
a mysterious gas was released, infecting reedick and epic rick. this gas...is called Gay Sex Gas.
(the rest of the story is just gonna be narrative i have no ideas for dialogue anymore)
reedick and epic rick, now infected with gay sex gas, were sent to the Gay Sex room. the Gay Sex room was one of the mafia's most infamous torture methods. here, every person inside has gay sex until they DIE. damn, looks like jake paul just died in there. long story short: epic rick and reedick do it. y/n is jealous and wants reedick for themselves. reedick and epic rick die. y/n and reedus will never be together. i ran out of ideas for this fic and thats why i left it for days. my specialty truly is writing about anime boy bands.
