Breakable Heaven

Chapter 14

I spent the night tossing and turning restlessly, waking up unsure of if I ever completely fell asleep. By 8AM the light bounced from the cloudy sky and into my window enough to peer through the curtains, disregarding any room for more sleep. I groaned, rolling over and patting my bed in search of my phone, still unable to completely open my eyes. 

Tree: Sorry for last night. Let me know when the contracts have been signed

I groan at the sudden memory of last night. The morning is really the most peaceful part of the day. The moment when you've just woken up and you're so blissfully ignorant to the memory of the day prior, there's nothing like it. 

My mind wanders to Karlie, and I find myself wondering whether she slept well last night. I hope she did. I know she has a shoot this morning and I don't want her to feel how I feel right about now. I decide to text her. 

Me: Hey Kar, missed you last night, hope you slept well. Swing by after the shoot?

I set my phone down and pry myself from the bed, making my way to the shower. The warm water feels heavenly against my skin and instantly my tense muscles relax, allowing me to breathe deeper than I have in the past few ways. I'm thankful for this lull between the album and touring. This lull of just being. I dealt with press when the album was first released, bouncing from talk shows to radio shows. As much as I enjoy it, nothing beats this. But I know that once January hits, all of that goes away. Tour starts in May, meaning that preparations start in January. Thankfully, we've planned everything. All that's left is the execution, meaning auditions for dancers, singers, set building, show run-throughs, all of it. I'll have to enjoy the peace while it lasts. 

Once I'm done showering I change into maroon jeans and a long sleeve striped t-shirt. I dry my hair and let it hang to my shoulders, putting on only mascara, winged liner, and a red lip. After getting ready I head back to my phone, not checking for replies from anyone in particular, obviously.

Nothing. 

I decide to run errands and escape the walls of my apartment for a few hours. Although I love the serenity of my break from work, the walls can sometimes feel like they're closing in on me. I guess as much as I love the peace and quiet, I'm just not used to it. 

After making my way out of my apartment with my security in tow and passing the incessant cameras that bombard me at every turn, I walk into my favorite coffee shop down the street. Luckily, the staff is used to me stopping in. I think I've taken a picture with everyone who's worked here, including the owner's children. There's even a picture of me with the staff hanging up on the wall behind the counter in a little frame. My cheeks burn from embarrassment every time I see it, wishing that I could just blend in for once. 

"Hi Taylor, how are you? You want your usual?" The boy behind the counter asks, smiling as he takes a cup in hand. I smile back, nodding. 

"I'm good how are you? And yea, you guys know me too well," I say with a chuckle, sliding my card out from my wallet. I pay and take my coffee, turning towards the double doors and reentering New York City's frigid December air. Suddenly, I feel my phone vibrate in my jeans pocket. 

Karlie: Heading to mine now. Meet me there? 

I let out a thankful sigh and text back immediately. 

Me: Yeah, see you soon

After about a 10-minute walk through the streets of Tribeca and the West Village, I make my way up to Karlie's floral gate. Paparazzi located me about 3 blocks ago, so they followed me up to the model's walkway. Luckily, my security is able to keep them at bay. I keep my head down and slip through the garden gate and down the path lined with greenery, stopping at Karlie's door. I buzz once, but Karlie immediately swings it open. The model is dressed in a matching grey legging and sports bra set, immediately catching me off guard. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a ponytail, and sweat beads down her face. 

"Hey, come in. Sorry, I just got back from the gym," Karlie explains as I walk into the entryway of her place, shutting the door behind me. 

She takes a much more modern approach to decorating than I do. Her apartment has minimalistic, sleek furniture scattered and art pieces hung on each wall. I've been to Karlie's a few times, but usually, we always end up at my place. I take my coat off, hanging it on a hook that sits at the entryway, and kick my shoes off as well. I walk into the living space, following Karlie into the kitchen. 

"I don't even wanna think about sitting on the furniture right now, with how much sweat is expelling from my body," the model continues as she fills her water bottle up with lemon water from the fridge. 

"It's the Five Guys grease seeping from your skin," I tell her, sitting down at the island. She chuckles lightly. 

"Yeah, you're probably right." She places a glass of lemon water in front of me as well before taking a gulp of hers. 

"How are you feeling about everything?" I ask before taking a small sip from my glass. She shrugs. 

"Not that great, honestly. But I get it. I'm not mad I'm just... out of my element, I guess. I'm frustrated at the situation, not you, not Tree," she explains. I sigh in relief. 

"Good. Look I am really sorry. This is just... what it is. For me it's always been like this. I tend to forget the shock people feel when they are first exposed to it," I explain, my fingers fiddling with my glass on the counter. 

"I know. I didn't mean to be insensitive to you and what you have to do. I know it's not your choice," Karlie continues. I nod. "I talked to Josh a little. Not about any of this yet, but I'm going to see him for dinner tonight. I'll bring it up then," she explains. 

"Thank you, Kar. I really really mean that." She nods, taking another sip of water. I watch the model, wondering what will become of this. Of us. 

"Are you nervous? To see him?" I ask. Karlie shakes her head. 

"No, are you kidding? It's Josh. I mean, it'll be a little awkward, but it was always a little awkward, especially towards the end," she explains. I smile slightly and Karlie's eyes meet mine, causing her to smile as well. "You know I'd do anything for you, T. You know that, right?" She asks, her voice changing to a softer tone. My stomach flutters and I feel my cheeks warm. 

"Well, I don't know about anything. What if I was kidnapped and the only way to save me was to jump in a pool of sharks? You hate sharks. What if, even worse, to save me you had to admit that In-N-Out is better than Five Guys? You loathe being wrong," I point out. Karlie stares at me, shaking her head and laughing before making her way over to me and throwing her arms around me as I still sit on the stool at the island. 

"Kar- again?" I groan as the model engulfs me in a tight hug, swaying me from side to side.

"You're so cute when you're flustered," Karlie laughs softly in my ear. I shake my head. 

"I'm not flustered," I pout as I try to free myself from her grip, but she holds on tighter, her exposed abdomen pressing against my side. 

"Oh yeah, I forgot you're the definition of peace and serenity. My bad," she says mockingly, before planting a kiss with an exaggerated 'muah' on my head and climbing off me, retreating back to her stance across the island. 

"You give me nightmares," I say dryly, attempting to flatten down my now messy hair. 

"Mmm, sure," Karlie hums with a devilish smile. I stand up, sighing and taking one last sip of my water before sliding the empty class to Karlie. 

"I should head out... I have a tour prep meeting downtown." Karlie nods, and I swear I see a twinge of disappointment flicker across her face. 

"Please let me know how dinner is with Josh, okay? Call if you need anything or come over after," I tell her, moving closer to her. "I really really appreciate you doing this, Kar," I continue, pulling the model in for a hug. I wrap my arms around her neck, hers wrapping around my waist, and I burrow my head into her. Despite her sweatiness, her skin feels soft against me, smelling of Dior Sauvage perfume, just as she always did. 

We embrace for a while longer than usual, but it's obvious that neither of us wants to let go. 

"I wasn't kidding, I would do anything for you," Karlie reminds me, her voice so soft I can barely hear it. 

"I know. I would for you, too."