You're Right... I Want You

Chapter Ten

I feel the cold April air hit me as I stumble out onto the patio, I head round the corner from the main area, wanting to be away from the people coming and going. I stand against the bare brick wall and take a couple of seconds to inhale. I need to get some composure after all of that. I knew it would be intense seeing Ben and Jack in the same room together but if I had just kept my fucking legs shut this would have never happened.

I inhale through my nose and out through my mouth, the fog once clouding my mind lifting and my body feeling more settled.

"Milsy, you okay?" I hear his voice, I see his face in the light from the hallway as he steps outside and heads my way.

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"Mils? Mils? Mils?" Ben called one January evening when I was in the kitchen and he was laying on the sofa.

"Needy much Bens?" I said taking the piss out of the way he said my name, adding emphasis on the added S.

"Stroppy much little Mils?" Ben laughed as I appeared at the entrance.

"No its just like being at home, hearing my name hollered from a different room" I joke back.

"Okay, how about I call you Milsy then? So when I do holler at you it will sound nicer" he laughs and smirks at me.

"It wasn't the name that was the issue, it was the general hollering that was the problem" I said approaching his seat, as he wrapped his arms around me pulling onto his lap.

"Ah, my bad" he smirked "I like Milsy though, its like my nickname for you" he winked.

"So what does that make you?" I smile "my Bensy? Does that sound cute to you" laughing, knowing how cringy it sounded, how corny it was.

"I'll happily be your Bensy, then only you can call me that and only I can call you Milsy, they are our names" He smiles at me, beaming in fact.

"You are really over the top tonight" I smile, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"This is what happens when I miss you, My Milsy" he winks at me again, kissing me deeply, wrapping his arms around me.

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"Yeah, I'm fine" I say snapping out of it "Just was a bit too hot in there, too many people" I smile at him, trying to keep this as friendly as possible.

Ben walks over to me so he is now standing facing me, inches away from me.

"You look fucking incredible tonight" Ben says, déjà vu with what Jack had said a couple of hours earlier.

I smile at him "Thank you, I appreciate it".

He steps closer to me, placing a hand on the wall almost touching my hip.

"You don't understand how hard it has been tonight, not being able to touch you, to hold you, to show you off as mine" he pauses and licks his lips "Seeing you walk in with him tonight, I felt my heart fall into the pit of my stomach, I just wanted it to be me that you were here with. I've missed you so much, I always do and I just can't stand not being able to be with you"

As his last words fall from his mouth his lips make contact with mine, kissing me hard and deep, his tongue entering my mouth, his hand that was once close to my hip now against my ass, pulling up my dress, feeling my bare thigh on his hand. His other hand was holding onto my face, keeping me close to him.

I knew this was wrong, I knew anyone could walk out and catch us right now or anyone could be watching but at the same time I would be lying if I didn't think the same as him, how much I wanted him, needed him, thought about him all the time.

The words Jack said to me echoed in my mind as his hand ran down my thigh

"Baby, I know sometimes I don't show it but I do really love you, I mean it, and I promise I will show you it more often"

I feel Ben's hand reach where my thighs meet and I push my hand down to remove his and move him away from me.

"I'm sorry, I cant do this" I say breathlessly, seeing Ben's eyes looking at me confused, concerned.

Ben leans towards me and opens his mouth to speak as the familiar Brummie voice sounded out of the hallway.

"Mils? Mils? Mils?" he called as he stepped out onto the patio, seeing me and Ben stood apart from one another looking his way.

"I was looking for you baby, wanted to check you were okay" he said as he got close to me "Cheers Bro for coming and finding her" Jack gestures at Ben, wrapping his arm around him, before removing it and wrapping me into his. "You sure you okay baby?"

"Can we go home?" I say holding Jack's cheek "Still not feeling great"

"Of course babe, whatever you want" he says taking my hand as we walk back into the hallway. I turn over my shoulder and can see Ben stood there looking at me, lost, confused and pretty sure slightly broken hearted.