[$uI¢1D3 alert! please do not repeat this kind of harmful action. i am begging you. you're very very precious and enough and i love you.]
✎ᝰ
i don't know what to do anymore.
i want to die, but why?
why do I want to die?
is it because of my "lies"?
or their lies.
why won't they believe me?
why can't they forgive me?
is it that hard?
or is it because it's me?
who am i?
as i am currently walking back home from the hardware shop, my visions are getting blurry but why?
i thought I can't cry?
aren't my tears dry?
but why did my whimpering suddenly turned into sobbing?
my tears are falling rapidly that i myself, can't even stop it?
"gosh.. it can't be helped. i can't even help myself" i laughed— trying to rub off my dry tears.
i got back home and as usual they're busy, they can't even afford to look at me.
i immediately ran to my room and locked the door.
as i was preparing to die— will they now believe this lie?
while i was tying the rope, there are two thoughts that are fighting inside my mind.
should i do it? or should i not?
but i've already decided before this two even fought
i reached for my chair and stood there, ready to die— as i am crestfallen.
will somebody try to stop me?
no. of course nobody will.
can't they love me for the first time as my lie will come true?
"goodbye"
those are my last words— as my neck started to hurt, slowly choking and gasping for some air.
i tried to reach the top of the rope but i can't.
after all this is my choice.
and sadly, i regretted this very choice of mine.
i tried to save myself but where is myself?
oh right. she left me a long time ago, no one can save me now.
how disappointing that my life ended.
✎ᝰ
