Reckless for You (Kellic)

2: Scoot On Over a Bit, Darlin'

It really felt like decades had passed until the bell for lunch had finally rang, but when it did, I rushed out to the table that Kellin and I always sit at. It was in the shade and far away from the most judgmental people of our school. Kellin and I don't exactly like getting weird looks.

Once I made it to the table, I saw that Kellin was already there and eating his lunch, so I sat down. I unzipped my backpack and reached in, grabbing my lunchbox.

"Hey." Kellin said simply with a smile, then took a bite of his sandwich.

"Hey." I smiled back, and opened my chips.

We sat quietly for the next few minutes, me swimming though the thoughts in my mind. I really wanted to ask Kellin why he's so reserved and unemotional. I just want to be special to him.

I probably shouldn't. I really shouldn't.

"Kellin?" Well fuck, there's no going back now.

"Yeah?" Kellin turned his attention to me.

"Why... Why do you always seem so... I don't know, just blocked off emotionally, and like. If I try to get close, you push me back. It kinda makes me feel like you don't want me as a friend." Or a boyfriend but I don't think he should know that quite yet.

"Oh, it's nothing." Kellin said with a smile and took another bite of his sandwich.

"But, it is something, I feel like you're not telling me something, and all I want is to be a friend to you. But I can't really do that if you're closing me out." I tried prying it out of Kellin, but I should have known to back off.

"Vic, please. It's nothing. I promise. I don't want to talk about it." Well now I have to back off.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I should have stopped when you said it was nothing." I apologized.

"It's okay, you're just curious." He chuckled a bit.

"Mhmm." I hummed, agreeing with him. Because that's all I really was. That's all I really am.

I'm curious. I'm curious as to who fucked Kellin up so bad that he has to block people out. I'm curious why Kellin won't let me get close to him. I'm curious why Kellin just want to push me away when I only want to be there to support him. I'm curious why he doesn't even attempt at being closer to me. I'm curious why he's so emotionally blocked off from me and the rest of the world.

I mean I'm curious what's in his pants too, but that wouldn't be appropriate to give any thought right now.

We ate the rest of our lunches, mostly, in silence, but made some small talk and jokes. I really didn't mind, but I just wish I didn't have to be so awkward around him. I really wish that Kellin could be comfortable around me.

Once the bell had rang for class to start again, Kellin and I parted, waiting for the last period of the day; the only one we had together. I walked swiftly to my next class with my backpack and binder. I felt so weird at this school. I don't think I really belong here.

I love it, but I hate it. The part of me that likes to be a rebel, loves the chill of people always giving me glares. But the part of me that just wants to be like everyone else, and be a normal kid, yeah that part. That part of me hates being here so much. I feel like every step I take on this campus, the more people start to despise my existence.

Sometimes, sometimes, all a person needs in their life is to feel like they can be themselves at one place. For most people it's at their home, but I can't really do that. For some people, their real home is school, because they get to be themselves. But really, I don't have a home, unless Kellin is my home. I can act most like myself around him and I don't have to worry about being judged, because he already knows I'm a fuck-up. I just wish he would give me the same trust.

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A/N lmao short chapter I guess. If you liked this chapter, please vote so that I know you're enjoying it