We were both quiet as we sat across each other. I busy myself sipping on my coffee and avoiding his gaze. I don't know why we ended up being here, having coffee together, like we used to.
I cleared my throat. "You're a Herran..." even though I cleared my throat, it feels like there's a lump in it. "Why did you lied about your true identity?"
He blink not only once but twice. Like he's not expecting me to know.
"Look. I was mad at you." I said.
"Your feelings are valid, what I did was a totally asshole move, I had to leave without a proper goodbye..." natigil siya at nakita ko ang sakit na dumaan sa kanyang mga mata. "I'm so sorry, Allariz. I didn't wanted to leave. But I had to." he lower his gaze.
I sighed. "I looked like a fool after you left me the day after I confessed my feelings for you, do you know what it feels like? It's awful." bitter runs into my nerves. "When I came home I looked for you, and you know what? I didn't expect that I will have a feelings for a liar."
Hindi siya nakaimik agad. "I was wondering, if one day you'll explain to me, why did you leave..."
"I can't... right now." his voice are almost whisper.
I pursed my lips and nod my head. "I understand."
"I'm really sorry, Allariz." he apologized.
"I can't accept your sorry for now." I replied, with a small smile tugged on my lips.
"How could I make it up for you?"
Hindi ako agad nakasagot. I looked at his eyes and think of a good answer.
"Be true to me." I answered carefully.
* * *
I planned to roam around Oviedo today. So I eat my breakfast and get ready. Pag labas ko ng hotel ay napatigil ako dahil nandoon si Theo. He's wearing a white lacoste polo and paired it with chino pants and his white walking shoes.
"Hi," he greeted, nung lumapit siya sa akin at hindi pa rin maiproseso sa utak ko na nandito pa rin siya.
"H-hi." I stuttered.
"Where do you wanna go first?" he asked.
"Parque de San Francisco." sagot ko at muling kinalma ang sarili.
"Great let's go." he said.
May mga monuments, statues at arched kang makikita sa paligid at kakaunti lang ang mga tao ngayon. Natuwa ako dahil mas lalo lang gumanda ang lugar.
"Let's play a game."
"What type of game?" I asked.
"Every time na madadaanan natin yung arch ay may sasabihin ako tungkol sa sarili ko. Game?" he said.
"Ilang beses tayo dadaan diyan sa arch?" sabay turo ko sa arch.
The idea of it makes me want to smile but I hide it, I don't want him to see it. Hindi ako marupok.
"Kahit ilan." he shrugged.
"Are you serious?" I asked in disbelief.
"Hindi ka ba game?" tanong niya.
"Syempre, game."
"Tara." hinila niya nalang ako bigla at nagpasabay naman ako dahil mukhang excited siya.
"I love banana milk." isa
"I'm a fan of avengers." dalawa
"I don't know how to cook."
"I used to be a baseball player." wow that's hot.
"Castanier is my middle name." that makes sense.
"I used to play Nintendo switch."
"I watched the game of thrones because I'm too lazy to read the book... Don't tell that to any bookworm you know, for them... That's an insult." I chuckle by his statement.
"Can we sit? My feet hurts." I pout my lips.
"Alright, but I'll still continue to say things about myself." naupo kami at uminom muna siya ng tubig ganoon din ako.
"I go here because I want to ran away, 'cause I don't want to work on our business. What a coward." he said, then he let out a chuckle.
"It's hard, being a CEO, they put a pressure on both of my shoulders since I was a kid, when I turned thirteen they began to train me on how should I run our company." he continued. "I never had a chance to explore my teenage life, I was forced to leave my baseball team to focus on our business."
My heart clenched, I saw the pain in his eyes.
"When you told me that you like me, I didn't know how to respond because I am lack of communication when it comes to my feelings... I wanted to say that I like you too, that our feelings are mutual."
My eyes widen, umangat ang tingin niya sa akin, punong-puno ng kalungkotan 'yon.
"Then why leave me like that?" I asked, still processing every damn words he exposed.
"That night when I came back to my hotel, I got a phone call, it was from my mom, I answered it but all I can hear was her sobs... Until she told me that dad had an heart attack and he was in a critical condition. I didn't know what to do, Allariz, my mind it's messy, I couldn't think straight when I decided to go home without a proper goodbye. And it sucks that when I came home—" he stopped. A tear dropped from his left eye.
Theo is crying.
"Death of my father welcomed me." he wiped his tears away. His nose reddened. He tried to smile at me. But his eyes... It's full of regrets.
"I'm sorry for leaving..." he apologized again.
I took his hand and give it a squeeze.
I give him my warm smile. I'm hurting for him, deep inside I feel like someone pierced my heart from his explanation.
"Hindi ko alam kung ano gagawin ko noon." bulong niya.
"Theo naiintindihan kita. Oo nagalit ako na ganoon ang ginawa mo pero alam kong may dahilan ka noon nung umalis ka. Look, you don't need to apologize, kasi napatawad na kita." I held his face. He closed his eyes.
And when he opened it the pain are now gone.
"Fuck. Why do you have to be this kind?" he muttered under his breath.
"I don't know either." I answered.
Tumayo ako at hinawakan ang palapulsuhan niya. "Where do you want to go next?" it's my turn to ask.
We went to the church of St. Julian also known as Santuallano. The church is the largest pre-Romanesque church in Spain. The architecture is based on a basilica floor plan, including three doorways, a transept, and three naves separated by pillars and arches. One unusual feature is the two-level apse with an altar on the lower level. Especially noteworthy are the detailed and colorful frescoes, full of geometric patterns, symbols, and figures.
"Allariz," Theo mumbled.
"Hmm?"
"Can I at least prove myself that I am deserving for your heart? I know what I am doing is too fast." he stopped.
I blinked, I feel like the world is spinning.
"But I can compromise, if you agree and you want us to take it slow, then we will take it slow." napakamot siya sa batok niya.
"Do you at least have an ex before?" I asked curiously.
"Yeah, only one but it didn't worked out pretty well because I need all of my attention on our company." sagot niya.
"I never had a boyfriend." I confessed.
Hindi ko alam kung namamalikmata ba ako pagkatapos ko sabihin 'yon dahil parang nakita ko na napangiti si Theo.
"I was too focused with my studies and modelling, so I didn't have a chance to." I shrugged both of my shoulders.
"Allariz," he called my name again.
"Yes?" I attentively replied.
"When I first saw you at Oviedo Cathedral, I was in awe."
My heart beats so fast like it wants to come out off my chest.
"If only you know how beautiful you are on my eyes." napailing-iling pa siya habang nakangiti.
My cheeks flushed and I nudged his elbows. "Are you making me blush? It's working." I said. He laughed at me and teasingly poke my cheeks.
"In my eyes you look like an anemic boy." bawi ko sa kanya.
"I like tan guys." I teased and it works because his expression changed.
"Iet's sun bathe then." sabi niya.
"Just kidding! Let's go, I want an ice cream." I hopped like a kid.
When I got to the hotel my smile never fades away.
What a happy day, sana naman hindi bawiin.
* * *
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