Random bits of writing

17th April 2018 (I think)

I think of my future and children to be
I think of a husband who is loving to me
I think of speaking my mind
I think of the consequences I'll find
I think of the dark and sorrow
I think of the tears that will come tomorrow
I think of the moon and it's glowing light
I think of life and how it's not so bright
I think of my emotions and the destruction they cause
I think of my lifeless eyes but mostly my flaws
I think of how my heart has been shattered
I think of how yours is tattered
I think of all the betrayals of trust
I think of how you seem to crave my bust
I think of how puzzling you are
I think of the wind on my face outside a car
I think of how I bottle things up
I think of how I'm a lake in a cup
I think of how I've start to cut
I think of how I feel sick in my gut
I think of how I try so hard or how I have faith
I think of how were unsafe
I think of my family and their words
I think of my family and how they're turds
I think of the friend that doesn't seem to care
I think of how they left me there
I think of how I'm failing school
I think of myself drowning in a pool
I think of suicide every day
I think of the price I'd have to pay
I think of the people who've lied
I think of how inside I've died
I think of the hugs that linger all day
I think of the time you scared sleep away
I think of pretending to be someone to make you smile
I think of how sometimes I wish I was eaten by a crocodile
I think of floating on a sea of stars
I think of my mind behind bars
I think of all the tears I've shed
I think of how I'm alone on my bed
I think of the comfort I never had
I think of how I'm ignored by my dad
I think of how weak I am
I think of how I resemble a clam
I think of how I'm more shut in
I think of how I wish I had a next of kin