The One After [SHAWN MENDES]

Chapter 108

"I do love you and I do want you, Lulu."

Shawn's words echoed through my mind as I weighed my options. I thought about asking him why we were no longer together if he truly loved me, but that would undoubtedly lead to another fight. What it all boiled down to was I believed we could use that love to work through our problems, while he felt love wasn't always enough. Maybe he was right and I needed to accept that what I'd done had caused an irreparable tear in the fabric of our relationship. This meant I needed to exit before mistakes were made.

Yet...as I gazed at his breathtakingly handsome face, I wondered how much worse things would be if I didn't walk out his door. I was hurting already, so would a momentary lapse in judgment really make a big difference?

"You look beautiful tonight," he said, tearing me from my internal debate.

I had on the pretty sweater dress I'd almost worn to Jennifer's, and it had been one of the few sources of comfort during my shitty family Christmas. "Thank you. This dress
was my mom's."

His expression softened. "It's a great tribute to your mother that you kept it.  I believe that clothes are meant to be passed on and that they hold memories within their fibers."

"It makes me feel closer to her."

Over the last twelve days, I frequently regretted telling him to pack up all his things since that meant no stray hoodies or t-shirts were left behind. I craved wearing something of his because when I breathed in his smell, it was almost like he was still there. I wanted that closeness. I took a deep breath since he was near enough for me to inhale in his delicious scent, but the only thing that filled my nostrils were the numerous take-out containers littering his kitchen. Maybe this was a sign that our relationship had soured just like the rotting food on his counter.

"I should go," I said after we stood there in silence for several painful moments.

"You could stay."

My heart flipped over in my chest. He was right; I could. Or I could be smart.

"Please stay, Lulu," Shawn implored as he took a step, narrowing the gap between us. "I miss you so much." He brought both hands up to cup my face. "When Stanley said you were here, I almost cried from happiness."

I was about to ask if this meant he'd forgiven me, but I stopped when his head lowered towards mine, and once his sweet mouth found my own, words were unnecessary.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled his bare torso towards me so that I could feel his body on mine. The need to be as close to him as possible was overpowering, and as much as I loved my dress, I wanted it gone so that there'd be no barrier between our skin. Never in my life had I needed to be naked like I did in that moment.

I pushed him away from me with plans to remove my clothing, but he misinterpreted the gesture. "Shit. I'm so sorry I did that without your consent," he apologized as he gave me a look of remorse.

"No!" I shook my head from side to side. "I wanted you to! I need to take off my dress since it's in the way."

He gave me a sweet smile as he reached down to the hem and carefully lifted it up my body and over my head before folding it and setting it on top of a box on the dining room table. I kicked off my shoes while his eyes raked over my body. Even if my undergarments were of the least sexy variety, I felt wonderfully alluring.

In one swift move, Shawn lifted me up and carried me bridal-style towards the bedroom, but he stopped before reaching that destination and set me down on the upright piano in the hall. The narrow key lid was in place, so no noise sounded from the instrument.

He bent forward and kissed me again, this time with a hunger that expressed how great his need was, though mine was possibly even deeper. Not much time had passed since we'd split up, but as we reconnected, it felt like the end of an eternity of suffering.

"I love you," he murmured into my mouth.

"And I love you."

I became intoxicated by his kisses, and as my fingers tangled in his curls, my entire body tingled with desire while my brain felt slightly dizzy. I knew I wasn't thinking straight, but I did not care. All that mattered was that he was holding me again and loving me.

Shawn reached behind my back and unhooked my bra before removing it. He stared into my eyes as he ran his thumbs over my nipples, eliciting an involuntary whimper to escape my lips, which in turn caused him to grin. He knew his power and he loved it. His hands moved to my hips while he took turns mouthing each tender breast, suckling the erect buds so that I felt it in my core.

Pulling out the bench, he sat down in front of me as I quivered with anticipation. He slowly spread my legs before dipping his head down to kiss me through the cotton of my panties. I wanted more, but the need to not rush things was even stronger. Each passing second with him was a gift that I needed to savor, so instead of frantically removing my underwear, I gripped his shoulders and let his tongue and lips tease me.

By the time he gently pushed my panties aside, they were soaked, though I was sure that was more me than him. The cool air hit me and I let out a small gasp which grew into a moan as his tongue made direct contact. After several minutes, he lifted his head. "You're honey in my mouth. So sweet."

"Please don't stop," I begged.

"I won't, but I'm going to take my time and play you like this piano. You're not reaching the crescendo until I've perfected the rest of the song."

My feet had been resting on either side of him on the bench, but he took my legs and hooked them over his shoulders, causing me to lean back slightly. I could no longer hold onto him, so I grasped onto the black wood of the piano to steady myself. His mouth found my womanhood again, and he was indeed composing a symphony with his powerful tongue. There was a definite rhythm, and after a bit, he began humming a melody in accompaniment which sent vibrations through my core.

"I'm getting close," I told him, though he knew my signals and was probably even more aware of my impending climax than I was.

I thought he'd increase the tempo of his tongue, but he did the opposite and slowed way down. He was barely touching me- just a whisper of contact- but it was enough to send me over the edge. "Oh god!" I cried out as waves of pleasure washed over me. His warm mouth latched onto me and the sensation intensified. For a second or two, I was positive I'd pass out from the strength of my orgasm.

I was still internally spasming when he pulled away and yanked down his flannel pants, exposing his excited state. He carefully lifted my body down and eased me onto him, causing me to whimper again as he filled every inch of me. I clung tightly to his neck as his hands roamed my shaking body. Then he reached behind me and lifted the piano lid. As our bodies were intimately joined, he began playing a beautiful but unfamiliar tune.

"Move to the rhythm of the song, baby," he instructed.

My knees were on the bench, so I used the strength of my thighs to slowly rise up and then lower myself back down to the tempo. I closed my eyes so that I could get lost in the music while making love to the man who meant everything to me.

One of his hands left the black and white keys and clutched the back of my head, bringing me forward to kiss him while the other continued to play. He'd been using light fingering, but as time went on, he was pounding on the keys and playing discordant notes; a sure sign that he was ready for a crescendo of his own. I began moving up and down at a faster pace to match his performance. Suddenly, he slammed his hand down on the lower notes releasing a cacophony of sound as he let out a loud moan into my mouth. I rode out his orgasm, slowing as he shuddered beneath me.

We remained on the piano bench, clinging tightly to each other, as our breathing regulated back to a normal rate. I had my head nestled against his damp neck and could feel his heartbeat slow in his jugular vein, which was oddly soothing.

"Can you stay the night?" Shawn whispered in my ear.

I moved so I could see his face. "Does this mean you've forgiven me?"

His expression changed drastically from being sexily contented to deathly somber, and I was terrified to hear his answer.