Morning-After Regrets

Ron 4

Ron 4

Ron checked that his turtleneck covered his collar, again. It was a habit, now, though he had glamoured the wretched thing out of sight. Unfortunately, if someone hit him with a standard finite the glamour would lift. He didn't entirely trust that the Slytherins wouldn't do it out of spite, though they hadn't said a word to him about it since he left their room abruptly. They hadn't even spoken to him directly. No gestures or suggestive stares either. Ron had to admit that Zabini and Nott were actually being... considerate about it. More than he thought they would be.

Course, that didn't mean that they didn't look. Ron had noticed the glances, but they stopped as soon as he noticed them. They didn't brag about what happened or told anyone about the collar either. Confidentiality Charms only worked on people outside of the Eighth Year Dorm. His housemates also knew that he had been with them, but no one had really confronted him about it. Maybe they were all growing up? To be fair, no one had a leg to stand on. Everyone had been a little crazy that night, from what Hermione and Ginny said.

Still, Hermione and Harry had to convince him to go to class on Monday with the glamour on. He was terrified the whole day that the other eighth years would taunt him or that they would find out that he was locked into a collar. But no one did. Harry had faithfully stayed by his side, though Ron could see that Harry was suffering, too. It wasn't embarrassment, though. Harry... he was acting like he was almost... heartbroken, and it was so strange, because Harry hadn't gotten his memories back, either. Ron didn't understand it any better than he understood what Zabini and Nott were playing at.

Ron was stuck on the same question. Why? Why would they lock a collar on him? For all Ron knew, they forced it on him. He didn't want to remember that. He just wanted to move on, get it off and deny it happened. He tugged at the collar, again. It didn't hurt. It was perfectly contoured to his neck. He didn't have a feeling of being straggled or anything. Sometimes, he even forget it was on. When he did remember it, he felt that flush of embarrassment that came with it. Shame... ownership... and... deep, deep down... excitement. He almost wanted to remember the sex. He didn't want to be a virgin anymore, though, technically, he wasn't.

He jumped when there was a knock on the door. Neville popped his head through without waiting for him to reply. "Ron?"

"Yeah, come in. Harry's gone to... I don't know... help Malfoy," he said, grimacing. He definitely didn't understand that. Malfoy was such a prick, but Ginny got Harry to go to him, pretty easy actually.

"Just checking on you. Dean said that you've been down, lately."

Ron sighed and sat down on his bed. He again checked that the collar wasn't showing. "Yeah."

Neville came over and sat next to him. "Ron... I've been in love with Justin for... like years. I was a little scared when I woke up with him. I was worried that he didn't want me, cause unlike everyone else... we didn't do anything. I was afraid... and I didn't want to remember being turned down by him. I know that's not the same as what happened to you, but you won't know what happened until you drink the potion or talk to them."

Ron frowned. He had woken up naked... between two guys... with a collar. It was hard for him to think about it.

"I mean... I hated the idea that he could have rejected me," Neville said. "I don't want to be alone anymore, and I don't think you do either."

"No, I don't, but that doesn't mean I want to be with... them."

"I understand... but... you did, Ron. You were excited when you left with them. Can't you take the chance that you were happy?"

"I don't think it's possible. You don't know what happened when I woke up," Ron spat, resisting the urge to tug at his collar. "And...with two guys? I didn't even know I was... gay."

Neville nodded. "Maybe you're bi or pans. No need for labels, but Ron... you are miserable now. Just rip the bandage off and let your wound heal. Face it... or be... like this forever!"

Ron looked at him, astonished. It wasn't like Hermione hadn't been saying the same things, just not as forceful.

"Come on, mate. You got to break out of this funk. Face it head-on... and then you will know."

Ron sighed and nodded. He guessed now was as good of a time as any. Harry was gone. He thanked Neville, who left. Ron walked out a minute later, taking a different route than Neville. He walked down the hall and up a flight, and he knocked on the door. Ron wanted nothing to do with his memories, but he had to face them. He trembled as he heard footsteps on the other side and the door opened.

Zabini's eyes widened and grinned. Nott was behind him. Zabini started, "Hey... how are...."

Ron cut him off. His anger was back, now that he saw them. "I want you to take this damn thing off!"

Zabini nodded somberly. "I'm sorry, Ron, but I can't do that."