TXT ONE SHOTS|mostly yeonbin|open request

∭the dark side∭ ✑ ~OT5

Top: rest of txt
Bottom: Soobin

He shouldn't be sad about this. Soobin know that they're just joking, but it still hurts.

Soobin is always lack of confidence.

Yes, he's popular in school. He's many girls's crush, he receives many love letters and chocolates, there's always girls trying to hit on him. But no matter how many confess he received, Soobin's still not confident about himself.

Soobin would look into the mirror and judge himself. He's not handsome at all, and he hated how girly he looked. He looked more like his mother, instead of his father. His face didn't show a sign of agressive, but only softness and gentleness.

Soobin doesn't like his voice. Every time he sang, his friends will give him so many complements, but Soobin never felt confident about his voice.

If his friend didn't force him to try, Soobin wouldn't have sent the email to hybe.

There Soobin became a trainee. His mother was against it. She thought that his son will never get to debut, and it really hurts the boy. Without his parents support, Soobin chased after his dream alone. There he met his members, they formed a debut group, but that doesn't help. Soobin's trying so hard to catch up.

Yeonjun's the top trainee, he's too perfect to be reached. Singing, rap and dance, and visuals, he got it all.

Beomgyu is so handsome, surely the visual in the group. His energetic self which Soobin envied, he always lits the mood which Soobin will never can.

Taehyun, extremely good looking and vocal king. He's so good at singing, his voice is so breathtaking.

And Kai. Always bubbly and cute, the maknae who receives all the love. He's always caring, adorable, soft and loving.

And there's Soobin. The leader of the group. Actually, Soobin don't want to be the leader. He's not worth it (at least it's what he thought). He cannot lead the group, he don't have that dominance. Also, he's not good at singing, dancing nor rap. He's neither a mood maker like Beomgyu, he's neither a cute adorable existence like Kai, he's not as talented as Yeonjun and not as gifted as Taehyun.

He have nothing, and it only discourages him.

Soobin have thought about quitting. He don't want to be a burden of the group. He eventually stayed, but he tried so hard to catch up and not to be a burden. He hated dieting, but he managed to stop eating for a whole week just drinking water. He hated workout, but he spent his spare time all in the practice room practicing dancing and singing. He didn't sleep at night, instead, he's trying compost songs, to write lyrics, to practice his skills and to practice over and over again.

And they finally debuted. Everything is doing great, but Soobin's still not confident. He doesn't worth it, that's what he tells himself. Try harder and harder, don't be a burden.

He always wanted praises. Those praises he never get in his life, from his parents, from moas and from his members. But he never get those praises he deserves.

The members don't know this dark side of their leader. They kept messing with Soobin, and Soobin is absolutely fine with that. He's thankful that he have his members playing and joking with him, but it still hurts when they joke about him.

"The biggest joke? Soobin Hyung is handsome!" Beomgyu once teased in a show.

Soobin knows that the younger is just playing with him, but it still hurts. He manages to force a smile on his face, but it still hurts.