Its been a week since the dinner. I'm alone all week, well danielle and allison visited a few times and my family? Havent heard news from them from this past week. i guess they're still mad? Disappointed? At me. i cant blame them, i was selfish i guess? For not thinking what would the result of the decisions i'm making.
Clouded mind and broken heart.
Two feelings i am feeling right now, i misa niall. his lips on mine, his hands wrapped around my hands, his body heat radiating through mine, his accent that would wake me up every morning, his words; words that make me fling.
I havent working too this week and i called my manager that i'm not well, he easily bought that lie. I'm so sad where i cant even cry anymore and just think about how sad am i.
I glance at the piano, family photo sitting on. Then i saw my mum's picture, "i miss you mummy, i wish you're here" i said biting my lip. i shook my head and ran to my room and change to some 'dress-like-sweater', black leather jacket since its bit chilly outside and gloomy. i put my hair to an effortless bun and my ray bans on and grabbed my black satchel shoving there my important things, putting my black ankle boots. Heading out of the house licking the door behind.
I walked down the pavement watching my other neighbors playing with their dogs. I smiled at them when they wave at me, waling faster when my phone started buzzing. i grabbed it in my bag and answered. "autumn!" Allison squealed i chuckled at her "hey" i said in a tired tone. "how are you honey?" She asked "mmhh" i said walking silently "are you okay?" She asked making me sigh "no" my voice almost crack, almost. i dont have time for lies, i've lied way too much and i want everybody that i care about knows the truth.
"Honey...where are you right now?" She asked "im walking" i said "where are you going?" She asked "to my mom" i said "buy i- uhmm i... can we meet?" She asked "not today though" i said "tonight?" She pushes making me chuckle at her "i guess so..." i said "where?" I added "how about i'll pick you up in your place, i have your stuffs that you left in niall's flat" she said "okay, thank you allison." i said "anytime babe" she said we exchanged our 'byes' then we both hanged up.
After a few more minutes of walking i finally saw the grey, dull, huge iron gate.
"London memorial park"
I walked in heading to my mom's grave not too far from the gate. i miss my mom, its like i havent been here for ages. i let out a shaky sigh when i spotted her grey grave.
'Athena keaton'
'It doesnt matter who started the chaos, if you truly care you're going to forget about your pride and reach out'
February 16, 1964 - January 28, 2006
Her own quote emebeded on her grave just below her name, making a single tear streamed down my cheeks. "i wish you're here mum" i said "i wish you could tell me what to do, but i guess i need to make my own decision while you're gone"
"Everyone hates me...dad, ashley, austin and the love of my life" i said "what should i do? I lost everything because of my selfishness" i said staring down to my boots.
"I love niall mum" i said "but he doesnt want to see me ever again" i bit my lip rembering niall's line saying that he foesnt want to see my face ever again. "his son, jake. i'm hopelessly attached to that kid." i said "i dont know if niall's really his dad, but i love that kid too" i let out a sigh of relief im opening up to someone in my heart. i know mum can hear me, i looked up the sky "Mum... please help me" my voice cracked at the end. i looked down to my feet and stare to her grave again.
"It doesnt matter who started the chaos, if you truly care you're going to forget about your pride and reach out"
I kept rereading my mum's quote and grin widely, i reread it again outloud this time. "i love you mummy" i said smiling up the sky "thank you" i grin and walk away.
i walked faster and once i got out of the memorial park i hailed a cab and told him my destination. i've never been satisfied to my decision except this one, losing my sense of pride this time but i'm going to gain something back.
Not my pride, honesty, trust instead im going to gain my life back.
YOU ARE READING
WANTED: Girlfriend?!
Fanfictionhiring you to be niall's fake girlfriend for a couple of months would be awesome and you're honored because out of billions of girls they chose you but Autumn is different being the father and mother to her sister and brother she has tons of respons...
