Kris Jenner: A Rich Romance

Prepare for Takeoff

"Time to wake up!" your alarm called out. "It's 1 AM!" You practically jumped out of bed and beamed.

"It's finally time to leave this wretched place!" You gathered your matched luggage, brushed your teeth with Colgate watermelon-flavored toothpaste, grabbed a few of Kris' bath bombs, and went to the front door.

"Leaving so soon, Conglomerate?" one of the security guards asked. You nodded.

"It's time for me to go."

"Kris is still sleeping! Don't you want to go see her before you evacuate the premises?" Deep inside, you absolutely wanted to be with her one last time. In fact, you didn't even want this to be your last time. Kris did technically cheat on you, but she did it for a good cause—because that's exactly was Kris would do. She was genuinely a good person, and you knew that she was most likely devastated after your falling-out. However, you quickly repressed those feelings and smiled at the security guard.

"I'll just send her a text once I'm on the plane."

"Oh, you're cold, Conglomerate!" You adjusted your fur coat, glaring at the security guard.

"I'm actually lukewarm, but thanks." You stepped out the door and got into a random limousine.

"Where would you like to go?" the chauffeur asked. You elegantly slid on a pair of sunglasses and smiled.

"The airport." The limousine began to levitate, and the chauffeur turned to you.

"When do you need to be there?"

"As soon as possible." The chauffeur's eyes lit up.

"Warp speed it is!" He pulled a lever, and you barely had time to blink before you were at the airport.

"Thank you! Have a lovely day." You paid him some counterfeit money and went into the airport. The entire airport staff flocked over to you upon your arrival.

"Conglomerate Clump! We already have you checked in."

"Really? That's convenient."

"Kris Jenner did it for you in advance!" Your heart sank slightly. Abandoning her didn't feel right. "Oh, we'll take your luggage right now!" They practically ripped your beautiful luggage from your hands and smiled a little too widely at you. An automatic security gate zoomed right over your head, and they nodded in approval. "You're all good! Just wait a few minutes before your plane's ready to board." You veered over to a waiting area, but everyone followed you.

"Don't you have jobs to do?" you asked. They simultaneously shook their heads. "Okay, you're all being weird. What's going on?" Suddenly, the airport staff erupted into a flurry of questions pertaining to your week spent with Kris Jenner. "Everybody, quiet!" you yelled, your voice piercing through their chaos. "I just want to wait for my plane in peace! God!" The staff slumped over and trudged away dejectedly. You let out a relieved sigh, sitting down on a nearby chair. You gasped when your succulent gluteal cheeks touched the seat and hopped up from the chair like it was aflame.

"What's wrong?" a concerned stranger asked.

"Oh, nothing! I've just gotten used to the chairs at Kris' house." You gritted your teeth as you sat down on the cheap plastic for a second time. "These chairs are—a little lowly for me."

"Someone got snobby after spending a week in paradise." You smiled.

"I'm forever changed."

"Attention," the intercom blared, "Cankle Airlines has a plane ready for boarding. Flight 69, our pride and joy, is headed eastward this bright and early morning!" The speaker paused for a moment, and there was a slight mumbling. "Yes, Diane, I'm aware that it's not actually bright outside because it's too early. I wasn't born yesterday. Anyway, get on that plane if it's yours! It's departing in five minutes!" You almost slipped some anal leakage into your pants.

"Five minutes? What kind of an airport is this?" You darted to the boarding gate and groaned at the seemingly endless line ahead of you. "If I miss my flight, I'm suing this place." You stood patiently for at least two minutes before your heart began to race. "Can we hurry up already?" you called out. "I need to get home; I can't be stranded here! My house is over a thousand miles away!"

"No it's not!" someone screamed. You rolled your eyes.

"What the hell is happening around here?"

"Conglomerate, your home isn't far from here at all!" You turned around, your heart fluttering slightly. Kris was bolting towards you with the most infectious grin you'd ever seen. She threw her arms around you and laughed, squeezing you tightly. "Your home is just a limousine ride away, Conglomerate."

"I thought you never wanted to speak to me again!"

"No. Please don't ever think that." Kris leaned back and smiled. "All couples have fights, right? The more money couples have, the more dramatic the arguments! We can be on better terms again, Conglomerate. We can put yesterday behind us."

"It already is behind us, actually." Kris laughed.

"There's the annoying Conglomerate I love! By the way, your coat is to die for!"

"Well, a couple of your ferrets died for it, so—I guess you're right!" Kris raised her eyebrows.

"That looks like more than a couple ferrets."

"Oh, did I say that? I meant a couple hundred." Kris smiled awkwardly.

"Please tell me you're joking."

"Of course I am! I could never risk hurting one of your five most precious ferrets!" Kris chuckled.

"I don't know which ones they are, so I wouldn't mind." She leaned closer to you and pulled off your sunglasses. "Let me see those beautiful eyes of yours." She looked into your vision spheres and sighed. "I really am sorry about everything that happened. I'd be honored to have you live with me, Conglomerate." You smiled, and Kris bit her lip. "Not only that, though." She bent down on one knee, and you clapped your hand over your mouth. "Will you marry me, Conglomerate?" You beamed, your eyes filling with tears.

"Yes! Yes, Kris! Of course!" Kris slid a multi-million-dollar engagement ring onto your finger and smiled.

"The diamond is actually made from Caesar's ashes." You glanced down at the glimmering gem on your finger, and Kris pointed to it. "If you look closely, you can see all 23 stab wounds."

"Kris, that's amazing!" You chuckled. "You're amazing." Kris stood up and softly met your lips, resting her hand on your waist.

"I love you so much." You smiled and gazed tenderly at your future wife. You two had come such a long way in only a week, and you wouldn't want it to be any other way. This was the romance that people had told you about in fairytales. This was one of the happy endings that you had always seen at the movie theater. This—this was pure bliss. You held Kris' hand and laughed. What else could you do? You threw your head back and cackled, terrifying everyone in a ten-mile radius—except for Kris, of course. She began to laugh maniacally with you, and the two of you were truly one in that moment. Once you both were out of breath, you wrapped Kris in a hug.

"I love you, too."