They go out that night and they go so terribly drunk that he ends up giving a blowjob to some guy behind the club with him pulling hard on Zayn's hair and moaning when he came without a warning down Zayn's throat.
He pulls his softening prick out of his mouth and gets up so the guy can jerk him off. He comes after a while with the guy telling him just how beautiful he is and asks him for a date, but Zayn just zips his pants and goes inside without a word.
He was a terrible fuck.
He doesn't find Louis inside, though. He picks his pocket in search of phone and finds a message from Louis: " U just disappeared with that man n I called Harry. Heading 2 the flat. :D Hope he was a good fuck. :* ;) "
He glared at the phone for a second or two and ordered another colorful drink, one of those that Louis makes him drink and that make him nicely buzzed just after the third one. This is his seventh, though, or eight. He lost count.
This time he ends up dancing with some girls with the music so loud, he doesn't even hear the name of the girl he ends up going home with.
All he remembers before he agrees to go with her is the brown in her eyes.
.-.
He wakes up in the middle of the night in an unfamiliar room and in a bed that is not his, next to a girl whose name he doesn't remember. His head is still spinning and he still feels the beat of the music running through his veins and the alcohol too.
He gets out of the bed carefully and slowly puts his clothes on, so he doesn't wake her up. He really doesn't want to do the walk of shame, as Louis calls it. He puts his shoes on and shows himself out.
The walk home is a long one, considering he didn't call for a cab and it's freezing outside. The good thing about it is that he sobers up completely by the time he gets home.
The lights are off and Harry and Louis are asleep on the sofa in the living room. Louis' practically on top of Harry and the other boy just sleeps peacefully even though Zayn knows how heavy Louis is. He might be tiny, but the fucker is really heavy.
He goes to his room, lights a cigarette and sits beside the open window so Louis won't bitch about the smoke in the morning.
He thinks about what happened last night. This isn't like him. Well, at least it wasn't before.
He used to think there's true love waiting for everyone and that everyone had their soul mate. But then his first love broke his heart and he was left hurt and alone.
Then Louis appeared in his life with his own sad love story and Zayn just let it all go to hell.
Everyone says that it's normal to hook up with strangers because no one cares and no one gets hurt in the end and that's why he likes it.
He likes sex, loves the rush in his blood from the alcohol, likes knowing that he makes someone feel good and he gets the same in return. But there's a part of him that is full of remorse and he feels like shit the next day.
Fucking conscience, he thinks to himself.
He gets up, throws away the fag and goes to bed.
.-.
He's not hungover in the morning, thankfully.
He finds Louis and Harry drinking coffee and they offer him some. He takes the offer and sits next to Louis.
"How was your night, Zaynie?" Louis asks and Zayn recognizes the teasing in his voice.
"How was yours?" Zayn shots right back.
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Harry blushes and Louis just smirks at him. "Amazing, as usual. Now answer my question." Zayn groans. "That bad, huh? That guy was quite good looking if I may say so."
"He was awful. I wouldn't have even gone outside with him if it wasn't for those drinks you made me drink. They destroy me every time."
"Well, I'm sorry, but isn't that the whole point?" Louis smiles bashfully. "Besides, you looked fucked out."
"I went home with some bird. I don't even know her name." Zayn says.
"Was it worth it?" Harry chirps in, his arm slung around Louis' shoulders.
"I don't remember. It seemed a good idea at the moment." He sighs and takes another sip of his coffee.
"Did you have to do the walk of shame? Did she cry? Did she slap you?" Louis teases.
"I snuck out before she got up."
"Good boy." Louis pats him on the back.
"Well, I've learned my lesson after a while." Zayn points out.
"I bet you did."Louis says and turns to Harry. "Our Zaynie here had a lot of interesting moments with his one night stands. For example, there was this one guy, um, what was his name Zayn? Maurice?"
"Morgan." Zayn puts in and sighs.That was the worst one night stand he's ever had.
"Yes, yes. Morgan the moron, as I liked to call him. He was Zayn's one night man. He really was hot, I admit, but he became a right creep the morning after.
Zayn didn't sneak out like he usually did and he decided to stay the night. When he woke up in the morning, he found Morgan sitting at the end of the bed gazing at him. He tried to get out of the bed and out of his flat, but the creep wouldn't let him. He said that he thinks he found the love of his life and that he wouldn't let him go. Zayn had to put up quite a struggle to get out. Once he did, he went straight home thinking he was safe.His mom called him down after a mo'. There was a guest waiting for Zayn, guess who?" Louis grimaced and Zayn joined in. "He brought flowers and a ring and wanted to propose to him. His dad went crazy, called the police and Morgan the moron got a restraining order. End of the story."
"That's why I never sleep over." Zayn admits. "It scared the shit out of me and my family."
"Damn, who knew?" Harry looks genuinely worried. "I'd stop with the one night stands if I were you, man."They all chuckle.
They drink their coffee and watch Doctor Who reruns, even if they'd all seen it before. Zayn thinks about his actions from the last night again and wants to say that he's sorry for what happened, but he's really not.
He did this all the time and Louis too, before Harry. It's a normal thing. He's human and his need for sex is understandable. The fact that he doesn't want a relationship with someone also is. He got hurt badly when he was too young and he doesn't want to go through it again. It might be irrational, but that's how it is. Niall could talk for hours about how Zayn is being stupid and that he needs someone in his life or that pain will stay there forever. He worries too much, Zayn thinks.
He finds himself thinking about being in a relationship and he knows he'd be the one to fuck it up.
Niall's different. He got also hurt, but he got over it and Zayn knows that he'll find someone who's good for him. Who knows? Maybe it's this Maria girl he keeps mentioning. Zayn smiles at the thought.
Niall told him that she sits behind him in classes and that they have coffee together sometimes, with other friends, of course. He said that she looks at him like she wants something and that she teases him a lot. He also sent him a picture of her and Zayn told him that she's a beauty. Niall showed him the finger and Zayn laughed. It's going to happen and he knows it.
