Tour was going so smoothly. Everyone was so kind and positive. This was quickly becoming Andy's favorite tour he's done in the last few years. It was already significantly better than the Resurrection tour.
It didn't take much to be better than that tour though, the bar was very low.
Andy's mental health had plummeted during that tour. The stress, anxiety, and depression hit him like a truck. Most nights he was completely alone, curled up in a ball on the floor of the back lounge wondering how things had spiraled to this point.
The loneliness was overwhelming. Andy was on a separate bus with the crew rather than his band because Ashley refused to have a dry bus to accommodate Andy. The crew never even questioned it. Yanni and Jesse were livid but knew they couldn't do anything but make damn sure no one brought alcohol or cigarettes onto the old bus that the crew and Andy were on.
Andy didn't want to make it a dry bus, at this point in his sobriety, he never thought about drinking, but he knew the tour would be stressful and he didn't want to take any risks.
He was really happy he took those precautions because there were more than a couple of nights where the familiar numbness of whiskey or the calming burn in his lungs from cigarettes was very appealing to him. Andy would never admit to those moments of temptation, but he was proud to say he never gave in and sought out those unhealthy coping mechanisms.
The Resurrection tour was such an ironic name seeing as it was essentially a funeral for what was left of Black Veil Brides. Andy didn't like thinking about that. He didn't want to think about how everything he had worked towards for well over ten years was for nothing. He missed the days when everything was okay. He missed when he had his band with him. He missed when making music wasn't a means to an end and he was excited about it.
Don't get Andy wrong. He loved the Ghost of Ohio, and he was so very proud of how it turned out... but it didn't start out as a fun project for him and Feldy to create together. It was a way to pay the bills. He knew he would probably sound so entitled to anyone with a 'real' job, but this was different than a regular nine to five. Andy put his entire being into everything he made and to see something so important to him fall apart and be powerless to stop it was heart breaking.
Eventually the album turned into something exciting for Andy, and he loved it. He was able to make a comic book for God's sake! He did a panel and a signing at San Diego comic con. He has gotten so many incredible opportunities this year alone and he was thrilled. Andy wanted his band, but that wasn't an option anymore, he would just have to put all of his love and energy into Andy Black and try to move on.
Andy opened his makeup bag and placed the contents into a neat row on a paper towel. His OCD was the reason for this, but it was a small little compulsion that didn't hurt anything or anyone so he indulged it. He made the mistake of using a new face was so now he was broke out in a rash around his jaw.
Andy pumped a small amount of foundation onto his finger and applied it to the area, blending it in carefully before he set it with powder. He only ever wore foundation if he was broke out. His hand burned painfully from his damn eczema flare up. It looked awful so he would be wearing his fingerless biker gloves to hide it.
Lonny came into the green room of the venue they were playing, and spotted Andy in front of the mirror getting ready. "Hey, man." He greeted warmly, making his way over, and hopped up on the counter to sit.
"Hi, Lonny." Andy smiled, trying very hard not to dig at his palm. He really needed to put some eczema cream on.
Lonny watched Andy apply his makeup, a small smile on his face as the older man blended the black eyeshadow around his piercing eyes. "You're so good at that." He complimented. Andy's makeup skills have always amazed Lonny.
This was a ritual that he loved. He loved watching Andy get ready, whether it be in tandem with him as he messed with his hair and got dressed, or like now where he sat by and observed without even a drop of shame. He enjoyed how meticulous Andy was with how he presented himself on stage. It was truly fascinating to see how his mind worked and how he created worlds with something as simple as makeup and clothes.
Andy rolled his eyes at that, focusing on the mirror. "I'm good at stage makeup, not regular makeup, but thank you." He said. Lonny shrugged, moving to sit on the counter next to where Andy was working. "Same thing." The guitarist replied.
"It's really not." Andy laughed, messing with his hair a bit. Lonny was always so kind, he never had a bad thing to say about anyone ever. Sometimes Andy found himself waiting for the other shoe to drop and for Lonny to show his 'true' colors, but it never came. The guitarist was genuinely like that, and Andy didn't know how to feel about it. He didn't know people could be that kind with no strings attached.
Lonny merely smiled. "I've only ever worn eyeliner one time and nearly lost an eye in the process." He joked. It had been a treacherous attempt made right before a concert he was attending with his roommate from university.
"Did you do it yourself?" Andy chuckled, glancing at the guitarist. Lonny had beautiful features, Andy wished he was better at drawing so he could draw him.
"Yes... I think that might've been my first mistake." Lonny said with a slight smile, watching as Andy's shoulders shook with laughter. He loved making Andy laugh.
"You're adorable." Andy said, shaking his head. Lonny tried not to blush at the compliment. God, Andy was trying to kill him. He was sure of it.
"Do you want to try some eyeliner today?" Andy asked. Lonny tilted his head to the side in question. "You want me down to one eye for the show?" He asked, making Andy snort in a completely unattractive, but unbelievably adorable way. Very few people got to see Andy like this, he felt very lucky that he was one of them.
"No, dip shit. I'm going to put it on you." The singer said in exasperation, but his fondness was obvious as he smiled at Lonny. Before the younger man could respond, Andy stood up straight and moved to stand in front of him, nudging his knees apart so he could stand between them.
"Look up." Andy said, holding Lonny's chin in one hand as he lifted a eyeliner pencil up. Lonny did as he was told, trying his best not to shudder from his touch. If he did then he would blame it on Andy's cold hands, nothing more. Definitely not Andy's touch. Nope.
"This is going to feel really weird." Andy warned, carefully pressing the tip of the pencil against Lonny's waterline. Lonny blinked at the uncomfortable feeling, but held still. "That feels... odd." He said awkwardly.
"It does, but you get used to it." Andy replied, move to his other eye. "Look down now." He said, placing his thumb on Lonny's eyelid and lifting it slightly. He hade quick work of the tight line, impressed that Lonny managed to hold still when he did it.
"Okay, look at me now." Andy said, his hand still cupping Lonny's chin. Russet brown met icy blue, and time seemed to slow. Lonny really had the prettiest eyes.
"Your eyes are beautiful." Lonny blurted out. He couldn't help it. If you were six inches from Andy Biersack's face, you'd be blurring out compliments too. Andy's face turned a soft pink, and he dropped his gaze. "Flattery will not get you a raise, Eagleton." Andy joked.
A familiar feeling fluttered in Andy's chest, the thudding of his heart almost catching him off guard. 'Oh god. This can't be happening. I can't be doing this!'
"I wasn't trying to get a raise." Lonny retorted, his brows furrowed. Andy laughed softly at this. Lonny was so so sweet and earnest. It made Andy sick... that wasn't true, but sick was a better word than any positive connotation that would make Andy acknowledge how he was actually feeling.
"I was kidding, honey." He said with a gentle, playful rustle of Lonny's soft curls. He looked over the eyeliner to make sure it was even. He gestured to the mirror behind the guitarist. "Take a look."
'I need to stop with the damn pet names jesus.' Andy thought to himself in embarrassment.
Lonny turned slightly so he could look at his reflection, and tried his best to ignore the way his breath hitched at the use of the word honey. God he had hoped this stupid crush would go away, but if anything it had gotten worse since getting to know Andy.
His eyes were lined with precision, enhancing his dark eyes perfectly. He looked good, Lonny could admit it without feeling like an ego maniac. "Wow." He said before he turned back to Andy, once again very close to his face. Lonny should really move back a little but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
Andy raised a brow at this. "Define wow?" He asked with an inquisitive voice. He was embarrassed to admit even to himself how badly he wanted Lonny to like it. To see how perfect he looked.
"Wow it looks amazing." Lonny elaborated because it was true. Lonny looked damn good thanks tonthe singer. "I told you that you were good at makeup." Andy couldn't help but smile, shaking his head as he moved away once he realized he was still standing far too close to Lonny. He was going to ignore the butterflies in his stomach.
"Yeah well I had a good canvas to work with." He replied, grabbing his vest from the couch to slide on. The remark didn't catch his attention, but it most certainly caught Lonny's. The guitarist blushed fiercely at the comment, but couldn't get a word out as he stared wide eyed at the back of Andy's head.
This was a horrible idea. Andy was getting too attached, he was getting too close to the guitarist. "See you on stage." He said as he left even though all he wanted to do was stay. He just wanted to be as close to Lonny as he could all the time. No. He couldn't do this, he couldn't let himself go there.
This meant nothing. He was just lonely and Lonny was sweet and stunning... that was a lie, but Andy needed some sort of excuse to cling to.
Andy didn't know how the guitarist managed to worm his way into Andy's heart, but he didn't like it. Letting your guard down wasn't safe in any sense. He needed to be more careful, he couldn't let himself get hurt. He couldn't let himself trust anyone. Andy has never been in a situation like this and it scared the hell out of him.
Lonny was still sitting on the counter, trying to comprehend what had just happened.
Was Andy flirting with him?
No, that was ridiculous. Lonny was just reading into that interaction too much. He finally managed to hop down and make his way out of the green room, grabbing his guitar on the way out. His mind still swimming with so many questions. And Lonny wasn't sure if he was prepared for the answers to any of them.
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Yes, Andy does in fact have eczema irl and when I learned this fact on TAS my mind was blown.
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and to those who don't, happy Monday lol🎄🎁
