This is gonna be more comedic because that's what SMG4 used to be all about, we all need a laugh after the latest arc's genocide. Enjoy.
Paris, France. The city of love. Home of the world famous Eiffel Tower, beautiful views and sunsets, and-
Mario: I'M FAST AS FUCK, BOI!!!
...oh yeah, that.
A bunch of races were going on all around the world, and Mario was drifiting through gardens and streets in what they call Paris Promenade. The items were mostly helping him speed his way through the course but he kept bumping into walls. Right now, he's in 1st place and nothing can stop him.
Mario: Alrighty! Mario's gonna win!
...except for a Blue Shell, and one was approaching very fast.
Mario: Ohh you got to be fucking with me.
The Blue Shell exploded, as Bob sped past him.
Bob: HaHaHaHaHaHa, YoUr dUmBaSs NeVeR lEaRnS tO NoT mEsS WiTh tHe AlMiGhTy BoB!
He ran into an Item Box and got a Banana Peel.
Bob: Oh BoY dInNeR tImE!
He tried eating the peel and he was so distracted from the road so then he fell in the lake.
Bob: ShIt, HaPpEnS eVeRy TiMe!
SMG4 flew past Bob with his glider towards the Eiffel Tower.
SMG4: Get fucked, bitches! Lataaaaaaaa-
Suddenly a burst of lightning gave him a shock and he fell down too.
SMG4: SHIIIIIIIIIII-*splash*
He splashed in the lake, while Saiko flew over him and landed perfectly near the tower.
Saiko: Destruction's a lot of fun!
She drove faster than usual and bumped into both Wario and Waluigi.
Waluigi: WAH! Cheater!
Wario got out a Bob-omb.
Wario: Get out of here! *throws the bomb at Saiko*
Saiko: AAAAAAAAAAA-*BOOM*
The two bros laughed at Saiko launching to the sky, unaware that they were nearing Piranha Plants that were about to bite their ass, and they looked kinda familiar.
Stu: Hey uhhhh we got people invading our safe space!
Pid: That explosion nearly broke my nonexistent eardrums!
Stu: I'm hungry for intruders.
Pid: So am I, we got so much in common!
Stu: Shut up. Now get into position, aaaaaand-*CHOMP*
Wario: OH MY ASS!
Pid: *eats Waluigi's head* Om nom nom!
Waluigi: *from inside* WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Wario: OH MY GOD! WAAAAAAA-
Wario got eaten by Stu, and Pid had a taste of Waluigi by eating his head.
Pid: Hey that's not fair, I got the slim one! And all I got was the head!
Stu: Yeah but that's what they get for waking us up. I was having the most wonderful dream where I could actually move instead of being confined to this dumbass pipe.
Pid: I dreamt I was having sex with yo girl-I mean I ruled the world! Yes that was my dream.
Stu: ...I am this close to killing you right now, you do not fuck my girl-
Then a couple fireballs burned the two plants.
Stu: AHH MY STEM!
Pid: IIIII AM ON FIYA!
The fireballs were thrown by Meggy, who drove past them.
Meggy: God, would you two just shut up.
She also had a Triple Mushroom as her other item and sped up to 1st place.
Meggy: Aw yeah final lap-what the hell...?
There were suddenly arrows that appeared out of thin air pointing to the right.
Meggy: Weird change of pace but okay, I can still win this.
She turned right onto a new route of the track, where she was now heading backwards... towards the rest of the racers.
Meggy: *gasp* Look out, everyone!
Fishy Boopkins: Oh hey Meggy-WAIT WHAT THE F-
Meggy and Boopkins crashed into each other, and then Toad crashed into them during his Golden Mushroom boost.
Toad: YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA-*crash* OOF!
Luigi: Dafuq? AAAAAAAA-
Luigi crashed into the pile too. It was a 4-kart pileup that blocked the road. Infinite was just driving along but his race got blocked by the huge accident.
Infinite: Uhhhhhhhhh, what happened here?
Meggy: *muffled* The track went in reverse!
Infinite: Oh... crap. We got a problem here.
Then Smesh flew in on a cloud.
Smesh: Damn it, people, can't we just have a race where someone wins? We just got these new tracks and we gotta race on them to the fullest.
Infinite: I'm so confused, what even is this for?
Smesh: ...It's Cristina. I do not know why, but whenever I race her in Mario Kart, she's always miles and miles ahead. I keep trying and trying but she wins every time, so then this challenge we made is why I brought you all here.
Meggy crawled out of the pileup to say something.
Meggy: Didn't you learn not to be a dick since the last time you hosted Mario Kart?
Smesh: I know, and I'm really sorry. I just gotta get you all trained up for this 24-player race Cristie and I challenged each other with. Remember, it's all of you and myself on one team and Cristina and the people she recruited on the other. It's time that I finally-I mean we finally bring her down.
Luigi: I hope another one of these new tracks doesn't change into a reverse track...
Smesh: Maybe going back to familiar tracks will help us train faster.
Everyone teleported over to Toad Circuit. Mario, Luigi, SMG4, Meggy, Boopkins, Bob, Saiko, Wario, Waluigi, Toad, and Infinite were at the starting line, and it felt refreshing to a few of them... but something wasn't right.
Smesh: Here we are, everyone. Toad Circuit. Don't screw up this time, someone has to win.
Luigi: This doesn't look very much like Toad Circuit to me.
Smesh: Sure it does, there's Toad balloons and everything.
SMG4: My gooooooooood, the grass and sand here look like PLASTIC!
Smesh: It's not my fault, they just decided to port these tracks from the mobile game for some reason.
Mario: This isn't 8k graphics, you liars.