Dagur's steps faltered as he heard Hiccup shouting at him. He wanted to yell back, I have a plan! I didn't betray you! but he couldn't. He needed the element of surprise for this to work, and he would have to deal with Hiccup's hatred for him later. He had to admit, hearing that hurt. His stomach churned, and his chest felt heavier than before upon hearing Hiccup's angry shouts. He tried to shake off the feeling, because he had to keep going if he wanted to change what Hiccup thought of him.
Dagur raced to the bottom of cliff Hiccup tackled him off of. It wouldn't be easy to climb the cliff. Dagur had to find imperfections, dips, and stones jutting out of the cliffside, and use the tips of his fingers to grab at them. Some were unstable or slipery, and judging which ones were safe was difficult. The actual climbing was grueling; every muscle in his body was protesting his decision to do this. He thought his arms were going to fall off. He pressed on despite all of that. It would have been easier to go around, but it would have taken twice the amount of time. Once he got to there, he could see that Toothless was pacing along the walls of the cave. He seemed to be doing much better, compared to when Dagur was tackled out of the cave. Hiccup was pretty strong for his small stature. Dagur knew that his plan would take some convincing on the Night Fury's part too. Dagur wasn't the friendliest in the past, and he knew dragons held massive grudges.
"I know you're not going to like this, but we have to do this to help Hiccup."
Toothless tilted his head, raising one of his ear flaps. The dragon roared and shook his body after Dagur climbed onto the saddle. He tried to buck the viking off, turning his head to give Dagur a nasty look when he wasn't able to. Dagur let out a sigh. He knew that Toothless would be difficult.
"Come on, what did I just say?"
The dragon didn't seem happy with Dagur's plan, but he went along with it anyways. Dagur had some difficulty fitting his foot in the pedal that controlled the Dragon's tail. He could hear clicking sounds whenever he pushed down, or gave the tail some rest. He was taking too long by dragon standards to figure out the controls, and Toothless was getting frustrated. The dragon jumped out of the cave, forcing Dagur to improvise. Luckily, he was able to fly Toothless, however bad he was at it. Toothless insisted in foing a few loops and spins in the air for a bit of revenge. Dagur was extremely nauseous, but he did his best to fly the dragon anyway. He could see Hiccup on shore, and let Toothless take the lead. Well, he didn't have a choice in the matter, the dragon took charge despite him. Dagur had to help out deflecting the arrows being shot at them, and even caught one before it could hit the black dragon. He could feel Toothless climbing higher and got nervous, knowing it would make his stomach swim.
"Easy, dragon!"
Toothless dived, sending a ball of purple fury towards two hunters, and landing in front of the one with a sword pointed at Hiccup. He bucked Dagur off of the saddle, and let out an earsplitting roar. The hunter ran off like the coward he was.
"I don't know how you stomach that," Dagur commented. He cut the ropes off of Hiccup's hands with the tipped arrow he was still holding with one swift movement.
Hiccup smiled at him, then turned to the dragon. "Atta boy, Toothless! Now, why don't we show him how it's done?"
Dagur watched as Hiccup and his majestic dragon took down a ship with only a few blasts. He could see them doing a victory lap as he considered his options. There was an empty ship sitting not too far from shore. He could take that free ship, or he could go with Hiccup. He thought, maybe the other riders wouldn't be happy with that idea, unless it was Hiccup's idea to bring him along. Dagur took a deep breath. There was no choice, really. Dagur knew he was better off alone, where he trusted himself not to hurt anyone. He chose the ship. After a bit of sailing, he could see the shadow of Hiccup's dragon on the water.
"And where do you think you're going?" He heard Hiccup ask. He tried not to look annoyed about the failure of his "ditch the dragon rider" plan.
"You followed me," Dagur said with a sigh. It wasn't a question, but more like an admittance of defeat.
"I still don't have all the answers I want." Dagur could see Hiccup's green eyes sparkling with that same curiosity and determination as before.
"I should've known how persistent you would be."
"Yeah, well," Hiccup said, scratching the nape of his neck, "I'm starting to believe you."
The man left his dragon on the mast where he landed, and zipped down the sail. He landed in front of Dagur with poise and confidence, as if he'd performed this move a hundred times before. Dagur was starting to realise how different Hiccup was compared to when they were young. He was so much more athletic, self assured, and didn't have that kinda awkward way of speaking anymore. He wasn't surprised to see that, just... well, he couldn't identify the feeling. Impressed, maybe.
"Thanks," Dagur replied, "Hey, why don't we sit down somewhere?"
"I mean, you still have a lot of explaining to do. I think you've definitely changed, but I need to know why it all happened."
"I really should have seen that coming." Dagur was annoyed at himself for not sailing faster. "I thought I got enough distance, but apparently not."
"I have a dragon. The fastest dragon. How much distance did you think you could get?"
"Hm, fair point."
Dagur brought a table and two chairs out to the deck of the ship. He knew that Hiccup would prefer an outdoor area where his dragon could get to easily, in case Dagur tried anything. Not that he would, but he knew Hiccup didn't trust him not to.
"It's personal. I really don't want to tell you."
"I mean, it's the reason for everything you've done, the reason you spiraled. I think it's fair of me to ask about it, even if it is personal. You hurt a lot of people, Dagur."
Dagur sighed. "I know you're right. I know that. But this isn't easy. It wouldn't be easy with anyone. I thought my father would-" Dagur swallowed his words, "I thought he would understand, but he didn't."
Hiccup looked at him intently, his eyes holding that same curious spark from the cave, waiting for an explanation. Dagur took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for any reaction. He would start this off vague enough for Hiccup to not lose his interest. It was the easiest way. He had to build up to it, in a way he couldn't lie himself out of.
"I liked someone I wasn't supposed to like."
"That... thats it? I mean, the person you liked couldn't be that bad, right?"
"It wasn't about bad or good, it wasn't about status, it wasn't about any of that."
"Then what was it about?"
Dagur crosed his arms, as if he was protecting his heart from what Hiccup's reaction would be. Protecting his feelings from what reaction he might have. He looked away, wanting to focus on anything that wasn't Hiccup's eyes.
"I... I- it- ugh!" Dagur clamped his eyes shut. He couldn't say it. He couldn't. He just kept thinking about his father's words, his father's hateful words.
"Hey, how about we talk about something else for a bit. Circle back."
Dagur let out a relieved sigh. He wasn't even aware that he was holding his breath. "Okay."
"Obviously, you found another way to cope with your emotions, if you're feeling better."
"I started drawing more. You saw the one on the cave wall, right?"
"Yeah, the one with the dragons. That one was nice. I also saw the one of me and Toothless."
Dagur could feel his face heating up. "You saw that?"
"Yeah, I mean, it looked pretty good. You've improved."
"It's my last clear memory. That's why I drew it."
"Everything is so different now," Hiccup said, "Seeing what I used to be made it more obvious."
"Ha, yeah, it is."
"You know, I couldn't be more thankful that you saved me. What you did couldn't have been easy for you."
"It was easier than you might think," Dagur replied. He turned his chair towards the ocean, the wood creaking with this action. Dagur forced his attenton on the waves. Watching them flow and crash helped him melt away the fears in his mind. Every breath he took of the salty air removed a brick from the wall he built up.
"You really want to know, don't you?"
"Yeah. I do."
"I hated myself for years because of this. I was so angry, and hurt. It took me so long just to be slightly okay."
"I know. That couldn't have been easy."
"It wasn't. And, you know, my father figured it out a lot earlier than I did. He always called me weak, told me all sorts of things about keeping my feelings in check. He told me that a Berserker should only feel one thing. Anger."
"Wow. Your father really did a number on you," Hiccup commented, "I mean, I think I kinda understand that. When we were still at war with the dragons, everyone thought I would get picked off by a hungry dragon. I ended up making friends with one, and my father was so angry. He did the same thing your dad did. He came around, after some... convincing."
"I liked a man," Dagur blurted out. He realised what he said, and almost instantly regretted it. His eyes went wide, and he turned his head away.
"Seriously? That's the reason for all of your father's hatred?" Hiccup asked in disbelief, "That is so stupid."
"Yeah." Dagur could feel his eyes watering up, and tears began falling from his eyes. "Stupid, right?"
"Very," Hiccup agreed, "Excuse my language, but your father is a dick."