Unloved

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<A/N: Warning, sensitive subject ahead
Demon hunter - I am a stone>

I am a stone, unaffected.
(y/c) eyes watched as the ship ahead was set aflame, cannonballs flying straight towards the wood for it to sink faster. It wasn't about treasure, it was about setting an example and boy, did he. The rookie Kid was before, has been long gone. The captain you had vowed to follow, no matter the consequences, had left the stage and was exchanged with another, a more violent one. Your friend was gone and you had to watch the transformation with a stoic expression, never saying a word, never going against him. The woman you were before, had left with the old captain. The caring in your eyes has been replaced with a cold expression, a frown almost permanently set upon your face. The whooping from your mates rang in your ear as some of them were already chanting for a good drink, a good time, even when they didn't have to lift a single finger, so to say. No blood was spilled on the wood you were standing on. No blood was spilled on Kid's hand.

"You okay?" You didn't know these words were tended to you until a heavy hand dropped down on your shoulder, triggering an attentiveness from your consciousness. Twisting your neck just a bit, you looked over your shoulder from the corner of your eye towards the person that hand belonged to. The mask from Killer was the only shield between his expressions and your perception of any small detail in anyone's face. The only thing that could betray his real feelings, was the tone of his voice. He was worried slightly, maybe a little bit more. Merely shrugging, you turned back to the sight of the flaming ship, drowning in the waves down below, slowly. It was a sad view, a ship build to flow over the water, tugged along by the wind, and yet, it could not fulfil its purpose after having an encounter with the Kid pirates. Kid's roaring laughter was louder than the other cheers of victory. Biting your tongue, you kept your response inside, however much time had passed after Killer's question.

Until this day, a few months later, you still never answered Killer's question of your wellbeing. Here, a battlefield Kid had chosen to fight a group of marines, coming closer to a whole army in fact, you were standing among the bodies of the enemy and your friends. Your shoulder was bleeding of a direct shot, the red liquid dripping from your arm on the ground, a small puddle was the only evidence it was indeed you, who was there as well. The burning fire of your existence was slowly smouldering as your pent up rage and confusion was ready to pour out, the pain ruled out. Kid was slowly rising from his hunched position, streaks of red forming a river over his broad chest, a smirk resting on his lips as his eyes laid on your own damaged figure. The moment his ruby coloured eyes locked upon yours, it seemed like everyone else was gone, no other figure stumbling about, cheering as he or she had survived. It was only your captain and you left on this earth. The silence surrounding in this deafening scene was inching in on you, its long fingers creeping in on your neck, caressing around it as their grip tightened ever so leisurely, keeping you from disturbing it with your voice.

That man did things to you, you didn't want to admit and after all that time, you were too late. The silence was replaced with the noise of bustling people, of a voice you'd rather not hear. The screeching of a harpy echoed in your mind before you snapped out of the slightly comfortable bubble you had been in before. Turning on your heel, you left to get to the medical room of Kid's ship, not really being in the mood to even see or hear them eating each other. A scream of anger died on your tongue as you left, the tugging of your heart buried under the mask of indifference and the shame of your still living feelings. With a sharp intake of air and a turn to your left, you steered away from your former destination, now redirecting towards a local bar to drown the last bits of emotion. Nothing else could hurt you more than your own selfish emotions after all.

*~*~*~

The cork popped from the bottle you were about to empty in your stomach, head leaning back against the wall as the rim touched your lips. The alcohol burned its way through your oesophagus as it flowed down. No one was in the room you were sitting in. No one alive, at least. The room was littered with bodies as your fury had blinded your reason, killing everyone on sight. The lines were blurred. The lines were always blurred, lately. You had to admit though, this marine base you had encountered before the local's bar was a good replacement. With some of your anger diminishing, your eyes wandered over the scene in front of you. Red had painted the walls and floors after the massacre. Furniture was crashed and wood split. The door lay on the floor off its hinges. Intentionally, this wasn't the plan, not at all. But alas, it simply had to do for now. Picking up your blade between your fingers, you started to look at it carefully, watching the engraves flow, swirling around the design Kid had made especially for you. It showed off his flag and mark, along with the engraving of signature. "Foolish." You muttered, throwing the blade towards the wall where it became embedded in the wood. Not looking at it anymore, you pulled out more of your personal weapons, inspecting them with the same sharp eye you had developed over the years you started as a mercenary and thief. All of them were thrown away, making a pattern as they halted in their tracks with a 'thump'. The last one, though, was your favourite. One you had kept from your former life and had held on for your dear life for you so long. The blue edge of the blade glimmered as you moved the blade in the few rays of the setting sun.

The façade fell. The stone cold actress (y/n) let the bottle slip from her grasp until only the end of the neck was held limply between her fingers. Hot tears started to well up in her eyes before they rolled down her cheeks. Dropping the blade from your grasp, your fingers racked through your hair, pulling the strand in frustration and massaging the hurt skin right after. Drawing up your knees to your chest, you wept for your changed friend, your changed friendship and the never ending agony of loving said friend but never receiving anything like that back. You just weren't beautiful enough, weren't strong enough, not.. good enough in general, you thought. Scars littered your body like stars in the night sky. You lost to Killer countless times before. All Kid did was complain about you when you were present.. It al started to sink in eventually.

The bottle was empty.

As was your soul.

It was Killer that had found you, coated in red, but a smile on your face, dried tears striking your cheeks. He had called for Kid immediately to come. Kid's shoulders sank a bit as he regarded your form, his knee buckling as he crouched down in front of you. His painted fingers gingerly touched your neck, feeling for a pulse he couldn't find. His eyes were cold as he grabbed your tainted blade and pushed it in his belt for safekeeping. The captain ordered Killer to take the weapons from the marines as he, himself, gathered your other knives from the wall with a sigh, a deep scowl adorning his face. As Killer had gathered the guns and knives for the crew, with a little help from another crewmate who was curious as to what was so damn important, Kid shooed them away from the building before turning back to look at you. The man was silent as he regarded you once more, for a last time.

With a sharp inhale, the captain turned around and left the building in pursuit of his crewmembers, leaving behind a small, black box. Killer stood near the door, waiting for him, weapons weighing heavily in his arms. The blonde's head only tilted to the side, an inquiry in his gesture.

"What?" Kid growled, his bloodred eyes staring at his first mate.

"You don't care." It wasn't a question. A mere state of affair. Kid huffed in response, yet didn't say anything for that matter, stomping his way back to his ship.

"You have no idea how much I care." The captain eventually grumbled under his breath, suppressing the burning sensation that plagued his eyes. The words written in blood was a message, maybe not directed to the captain as he never asked, but it did leave a heavy burden on his shoulders. It meant he failed as a friend, as a captain, as himself. The walls he had build around his emotions, keeping the soft side in check, cracked. It was stupid. He felt stupid of loosing his friends out of sight, blinded by his sheer will to achieve his goal.

The building exploded as the captain and his first mate arrived at the ship, meeting the grim faces of the crew. Heat's sombre gaze was lowered, the end of his lips more drawn to the ground. Kid's gaze fell back towards where he came from, the crew watching the flames roaring up in the night sky, illuminating the ship even from that far away. It felt like a hell on Earth and the sight burned into Kid's memory, never to be forgotten ever again.

His heart bled, yet the male never cried. He knew you wouldn't want him to anyway.


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