"At least let me walk you home," Caren offered.
"That's sweet but my dad's place is outta the way. It's barely in Alyssum Grove High's school zone," I shrugged. "You don't gotta break ya back for me anymore, kid."
"Gialla, stop. How can you forgive the cheater and not me?"
"Who did I know longer?"
Caren sighed, stomping a little. "This is not fairrr. I love you Gialla with all my heart."
"That's crazy man," I laughed, "because I could've sworn you didn't."
"Let's just make up and forget about this, okay?"
"Sure. The day that I forgive Nolina, is the day that I'll forgive you, Caren," I said firmly. "Now go home before I send you there."
"Wow. Just like that?"
"Any time you don't like what I gotta say, it's always wow. You can't believe I'm setting boundaries in my life now that sooo many people have screwed me over? I know that I'm not the nicest, but be real with me, did I really deserve all of this?"
She didn't have an answer for me so I left.
A few blocks down the street, I felt someone watching me again. I flipped around and saw the same car. I flipped them off, staying there until they were almost past me. I took a picture of their license plate, and I saw their reverse lights kick on.
"Fuck. I prolly shouldn't have done that," I muttered.
I broke out into a run, but the car was keeping pace with me, and through the hunk of metal, I could've sworn I heard laughter.
I was in a full sweat by the time I made it to my dad's crib, and I hurriedly raced onto my porch, knowing that they wouldn't dare get out of the car somehow.
The vehicle slowly passed by the shack, as if to say haha to me. As I held my hand to my heart, I realized they knew that I was scared. And maybe that's what they wanted.
Maybe Caren offering to walk me home is a good idea, even if I actually hate her right now. I went into the house and did the same thing as yesterday, this time taking my homework back out into the porch.
The vehicle didn't pass by again. They were a complete no show. I went back into the house as my dad came through the door, showering early and spending the rest of my night on my phone, still feeling lonely as hell.
Wednesday morning, all I could think about was that I'd have counseling on Friday. I wore something more put together than yesterday and text Tara, for the first time since we broke up. I told her that I was on the way to school.
As my dad drove me to campus, I watched the rear view mirror to see if I'd notice that car following me.
The inky purple complexion of the car was a heavy staple in my mind. But there were so many other empty pages left unwritten.
Who was trying to toy with my mind?
"Have a good day-
I closed the door in my dad's face, not looking back as I got out of the car and walked to the front of the building. It was getting easier to avoid the way some people looked at me because 1) half had forgotten about all the drama I was in and 2) I was starting to accept myself more.
I walked right past Caren in the hallway, on my way to first period.
I had such high expectations for this new counseling I had to take part in. What if it didn't help with my anger at all? Then what? It feels like I've tried everything. But if I've come this far with my temper on my own...isn't it reasonable to believe that I may be able to go a little bit further with some help?
"Gi."
I turned around, full circle. "What Tara?"
Her decent expression faltered a bit and I felt slightly guilty, "I thought we were cool."
"Yeah. We are. Just saw something I didn't like on my way to class," I grimaced.
"Caren?" Tara asked, leaning her elbow against the lockers to the right of me.
"Spot on," I shrugged.
"Gimme a kiss," she commanded lightly, chewing on her bubblegum. I laughed in her face, ready to leave.
She pulled me towards her and kissed me softly. It felt like ninth grade all over. I just couldn't wrap my head around not kissing her back. It felt like second nature as my lips found hers. It was a recreation of every moment we had spent alone. The way her thumbs felt so tender digging into my skin, and holding me still as she dipped my head towards hers and closed her eyes.
I pulled back, blushing and avoiding eye contact. "I already know it's finna be some bull. Ain't you back with Nolina?"
"I'm getting back with her today," she stated.
"Oh, so I was a pit stop until you went back to her?"
"Nahh. You were a main destination."
"Tara, don't play with me," I growled.
"C'mon. Fuck Lina," she mumbled, hugging me tight. I went along with it, but at the same time I also wasn't embracing her back. "I'm not a sneaky bitch."
"She ain't gotta know what we do," she smirked.
"Well, you just kissed me in front of the whole school," I shrugged. "That's a little impossible, don't you think, Tee?"
We were in the middle of the hall after all.
"I'm not with her yet. I already know Lina's gonna take me back when I see her. If I said jump, she'd ask how high. I needa know that you're down. That you'll be there when I need you. I don't really want that lil girl, but I need somebody to keep me in line on the side. You know?"
"If you dating so somebody keeps you in line, maybe you need a mother figure, not a girlfriend, Tara," I stated.
"So you down, or what?"
"You gon walk around playing Caren and Nolina like this? Who else you fucking around with?" I asked.
"Just you."
"I'm not made out to be a side hoe, Tara," I argued.
"Then don't think of it as that. I'll have a girl but you'll also be my girl," she shrugged.
"You disgust me," I turned away from her.
"But I'll keep your thighs warm at night," she smirked, pulling me back into a hug, my back against her breasts.
I gulped, my heart racing. "Don't tell nobody."
"That's the plan, shawty," she whispered.
"After this. We pretend to be friends. Nothing more, nothing less after you tell Nolina you want her back today," I told Tara firmly. "I'm not gonna be ridiculed at school again."
"So be it," she shrugged.
"Maybe one day when we're older," I turned around slowly in her arms, intertwining my fingers with hers, "You'll slow down some and realize I'm the one for you."
We were in the middle of the hallway, vowing to keep "us" a secret. How ironic. How ironic also, that I said I'd never take back a cheater. Yet...here I am.
"Then it'll be no more cheating if that day were to come," she vowed.
I stared into her brown eyes.
"No more cheating," I repeated, surprising her with a kiss.
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