A normal day? I wish for nothing more than that. At the moment, my life is a single shard pile that I have to walk barefoot over. With each step, the cuts become deeper and yet the pain fades. That's how it will be, my future...
I go further and so...
It was too late, I couldn't do anything anymore. A second ago we danced together and now, exactly where we were. Does her boyfriend kneel with this box in his hand and seriously ask her if she is marrying him. I thought he had thought about what I had said at the time, but I knew from emery that he was still shutting it down. How could she stay with him? Just accept all this and pretend that everything is normal. Was she really so blind with love? She told me yesterday that she also loved me and now I stood here waiting for her to accept this request. Everyone stood around the two, waited eagerly and literally stared through them. "Yes" it sounded in my ears. I couldn't believe it. I quickly turned around and disappeared through the small white garden gate, which was around the corner of the house and led to the courtyard of the two. I was angry, sad and simply disappointed, so much so that I could hardly put it into words. I took the key out of my pocket, threw the cup of water, which I held in my right hand, into the corner and opened my car. My foot pulled out and kicked against the tire of my dark gray Audi. None of this could be true. I threw myself in my car and slammed the door. How could I be so blind and even for a moment thought That she would say no. Everyone was there and would probably congratulate the two now and em? The way I knew her, she stood there and didn't know what to say. I hoped that she was at least as bad as I did at that moment. The garden gate opened when I parked backwards. It was emery, she ran into the yard and I looked her in the eyes for a second, you could see the pain in my eyes. Then I drove away. I didn't look back anymore. This woman had torn my heart into a thousand pieces, and I couldn't accept that this disgusting guy had won, Emery had chosen him. For a life she had complained about so much. Did all that mean anything we have? When I left 9 years ago, that's exactly what I had right now. Emery told me how terrible it was all for her, but I never told her that I felt the same way. I dedicated each of my songs to her. Even when I was still singing in one direction. I always thought she didn't miss me, she never got in touch and then I learned from my family that Steve is the new one by her side. This jealousy that I felt every time I saw a new picture of both, I would have liked to have left everything behind and stayed with her.
Aimlessly I drove through the area, far too fast. I didn't want to stop, because then I would have to concentrate on myself and my feelings again. I just wanted to forget everything, I had to be careful not to fall back into this hole I was in back then. It was late, 15 missed calls and countless messages later I finally arrived home. Tomorrow it would have to move on. I couldn't cancel the tour because of something like that. It had to go further. I packed my bag with the most important things and called Robyn. I hadn't gotten in touch with her for a few hours. I felt bad towards her. She was so loving, we haven't been dating for very long and I wasn't even sure if I had loved her at all after the thing with emery. But she was the only one who always didn't worry about it. She will also be there at my next concert tomorrow, it will be increasingly difficult to keep things with her secret.
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