||Wattys 2022 Shortlist||
Kian Advani was a closeted queer in his high school. Always in denial of his true feelings and emotions. So much so that he did everything to blend in with the rest of the straight crowd. But that didn't mean he wasn't att...
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The ride back to his apartment was mostly awkward silence and subtle glances.
Kian didn't want to come up too hard and fast on Enzo. They were still new to whatever had started developing between them. At least Enzo was. Kian had known his feelings for the boy since he was fourteen. He was finally ready to acknowledge it with an open mind.
He received one single text from Audrey earlier as they ascended the elevator. His phone dinged in the deafening silence between the boys.
I'm spending the night at my friend's dorm tonight. Have fun, Kay.
Kian typed in a quick thanks and shoved his phone inside his pocket. He chanced a glance at the boy beside him and gulped at the unreadable look on Enzo's face. It appeared calm before the storm. Enzo was leaning his back lazily, his hand spread out and grip tight around the metal bar.
For two people who couldn't stop kissing just a few minutes ago, they seemed to be weirdly civil the whole journey to his room. Once the door closed though, in seconds, Enzo was out of his leather jacket and into Kian's arms, his face pressed against Kian's neck. Kian wrapped him up tightly, feeling his strength suddenly, calm and collected.
"Fuck," Enzo whispered, pulling himself off Kian's body and running a shaky hand through his hair. "I've been dying to do this. I don't know what's happening to me."
After a second's hesitation, Kian reached up and held Enzo's shoulder, guiding him to the couch. Enzo let him. Kian could touch Enzo without feeling burnt with shame. And he wanted to touch him this way for years. This beautiful boy with music in his bones and soul-deep smiles looked at him as if he meant everything. "We should probably slow down. Talk about it, and then think about how to proceed further."
"Yeah. We should do that."
"Do you want to take a shower first? You've been playing drums non-stop all evening." Kian cupped his face, marveling that he could dare to do it, and Enzo didn't jerk away from his touch either. "Bathroom is through there if you still remember it."
Enzo moved his hand over Kian's and nodded.
"Meanwhile, I will fix us some hot chocolate. Yeah?" Kian smiled warmly and gathered himself off the couch. He said, edging towards the kitchen and began rummaging through the cabinets. Did he want alcohol instead? The hot chocolate was a better bet. Kian didn't want to get drunk with Enzo. When he got drunk, he lost his senses. He would not want that to happen right now.
"Yeah, hot chocolate sounds about right," Enzo said, shoving his hands inside his pocket and turning towards the door that led to the bathroom.
As soon as Enzo disappeared and shut the door after him, Kian flew through the living room and tried to clean it as much as possible. "Clean" was probably the wrong word. It was more like hiding as much damage as possible. He rearranged the throw pillows and cushions on the couch to make it appear cozy enough for a lovely evening with your date, then cringed and put them back wherever they were lying previously.
