Just Roomates

Chapter 1: The Proposal

"Hey, sweetheart, how was work?" Alex chirps from the kitchen as I hang up my coat and shake out my umbrella in the entryway of our Portland apartment.

I roll my eyes and laugh. "Great hun! How was your day?" I reply.

I round the corner into the kitchen and my nose is greeted with the pleasant smell of garlic sauteing in olive oil.

"Same old, same old." He replies, not looking up from his cooking. "Boss man had an unusually large stick up his ass today."

"Awww my poor, sweet hubby, how can I make it all better?" I ask, pouting and batting my lashes.

"Okay, we're done with the old married couple shit." He laughs back. "Seriously though, it's like nothing I do is good enough for that guy. I show up every day, I'm never late, I go above and beyond... I'm 'bout at the end of my rope. I haven't even had a vacation since we graduated last year!"

"Maybe he's sick of looking at your ugly face." I tell him matter-of-factly.

"Ha. Ha." He shakes his head.

"No seriously, well not SERIOUSLY, but what I mean is that maybe if you took some time off, he'd see how important you are to the company. It sounds like you need a vacation anyway." I tell him, stealing a cherry tomato off his cutting board and placing it between my lips.

"What I need, is to get laid." He says, looking me in the eyes for the first time all evening.

The tomato promptly flies to the back of my throat with a "pop" where it chokes me for a solid .5 seconds before it winds up on the floor.

"What the hell was that?!" He shouts, half laughing and half worried- like he's trying to gauge my reaction before he picks one.

"I'm sorry! You've just never mentioned anything even remotely sexual to me!" I'm laughing so hard I have to clutch my stomach. "I thought you were one of those- *snort*- celibate people- *snort*- or whatever you call them!"

"Oh my God!" He throws his arms up in the air and lets them fall. "It's not that funny!"

"Whooo!" I'm wiping tears from my eyes. "It's pretty fucking funny. Had me snorting and everything!"

"I just didn't want to cross a boundry or make you uncomfortable." He says, handing me a napkin. "Like, I know you weren't stoked about a boy moving into your place when we first met, so, I don't know, I guess I thought it would help to keep that stuff to myself."

"Alex." I put my hands on his shoulders, staring him straight in the eyes. "We have lived together for over 4 years. You've dealt with all kinds of shit from me! I am not afraid of your sex life!"

"Well yeah, I guess I didn't think about it that way." He looks at his feet.

"Alex, honey, eyes up here." I say pointing to my eyes as he looks up. "If you had mentioned wanting to get laid, I could have hooked you up with so many of my girlfriends back in college! They all were obsessed with you!"

He groans, shaking me off and returning to his cooking.

I pour us each a glass of wine and sit down at our tiny, two-seater dining table. I take a sip as I watch him and let my curls free of the clip on the back of my head.

"Have you tried Tinder?" I ask him.

"That's enough of that!" He yells raising his wooden spoon to shush me without even turning around.

"I'm just saying, it's worked for me in that past." I say in a sing-songy voice.

"Yeah, it must have been the past because I know for a fact you haven't had a guy over in seven months." He mocks. "End of convooooo."