I Am Not a Woman, I'm a God - Jonerys [18+]

It's in the blood and this is tradition

A/N: We start off with things falling apart. Plans need to be changed and Daenerys is not happy with Tyrion. This takes place after the Wight hunt but before the Dragon Pit meeting! I chose this point in time because I needed things to be a mess! Missing moments type of shit. Lots of me trying to describe various sex positions and somehow not fuck up my Facebook ad suggestions!

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It won't be canon compliant because frankly, I have no idea where it's going and canon can fuck off, they ruined it not me. This is not a slow burn. If that's your thing look elsewhere because I am impatient as fuck and can't do it.

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Tyrion is in a bad place, he has to redeem himself and Daenerys wants him to. It'll just be tense for a while! It's not true bashing, there just wasn't a tag for it. I will definitely fuck things up and twist them to suit my story but after the last 3 years of hell, I genuinely can't be bothered, so it is what it is. Ringing endorsement.

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Chapter title and Fic title are both songs by Halsey! From the best album released last year, If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power. It just screams Game of thrones. Rated explicit for language and smut! My Duskwood fic takes 1st priority but this will be updated as often as I can! I honestly have no business writing this but I have nobody around to stop me, I'd ignore them if they tried, so here we are again.

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I do not own these characters or anything in the game of thrones world, this is just my own personal wish fulfilment and how I wanted their story to go.

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Edited 12/01/24: A new update is on the way. Once I've edited, checked, and edited it some more, a new chapter will be published.

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"You can't take it back, it's good as gone
Well, flesh amnesiac, this is your song

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And I hope what's left will last all summer long
And they said that boys were boys
But they were wrong

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Take what you want
Take what you can
Take what you please
Don't give a damn

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Ask for forgiveness, Never permission"

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The Tradition - Halsey
*******

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Daenerys

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It came in waves, the grief and the torment. Flashes of ice and blue eyes and fire snuffed out forever. Her child, stolen from the sky and her life in the blink of an eye, a jagged blade that cut too deeply every time she remembered. Jon Snow and the look in his eyes as she reached for him from atop her dragon and the suffocating panic when he refused to take her hand, turning to fight instead. How she'd cursed him in every tongue she knew, the silly fool, then he'd followed sweet Viserion into the icy waters and she'd borne the weight of two huge losses for a long, painful day. But then he came back, half dead and frozen stiff, but still he lived and her son didn't. When he'd spilled his heart for her, still half dead and skin bleached white from the cold, she couldn't keep it. She dropped it instead and had been sick of herself ever since.

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They'd been back at Dragonstone for over a week now, the entire keep bustling as they made preparations for their meeting with the mad bitch in Kings Landing. Her unsullied having arrived back days after they did. A plan she was still unhappy with and didn't believe for a second would work. Her Lord Hand insisted it would, though she barely trusted him these days and everyday that trust weakened, it was a brittle, fragile thing now. He was somewhere in the keep, hiding from her and no doubt concocting more big ideas for the coming wars.

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The draughty pile of cleverly wrought stone stood tall and imposing on the tiny green jewel of an island, everyday the mists crept in with the tide, hiding it from view. Winter was slowly trailing its fingers farther South, Kings Landing still held its warmth but going by how chill the air turned at night here, it wouldn't be long until snow began to fall. The idea of walking into that cursed city and treating with the cunt that called herself Queen made her blood boil in her veins, she did not want to talk. No, she wanted to rip and tear and burn her to ash, her and her two faced lover, Jaime Lannister. She had no doubts the mad queen would set traps for them if they went against their word, she knew it was like to end terribly but her Hand insisted they follow it through, she would but only for so long.

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No, she knew all too well how people like Cersei Lannister worked, there was little to reason with when madness was the driving force. An insane person with the power she held couldn't be reasoned with, only dealt with and this Queen would go down screaming if Daenerys had her way. She could be ruthless when needed but she wasn't cruel, no matter if those around her seemed to think she could be. Daenerys heaved a sigh, fingers toying with the stem of her goblet as she stared blindly into the roaring fire in the grate, chilled to the bone and considering dipping her hands in the flames to warm them. Instead she focused back on the parchment in front of her, the numbers swimming in and out of focus, a quiet knock on her chamber door giving her an excuse to put it off for later.

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"Enter." She called and shoved down her pained groan when Lord Varys peered around the door before stepping inside.

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"A Raven came for you, your Grace" the slippery voice of her master of Whispers slithered into the chamber. Pulling her from her thoughts of war and sullen northern Kings. She eyed him warily, his silk slippered feet were silent on the floors, his hands hidden within voluminous sleeves as was usual, his hairless face and head making it easier to use his many disguises. Daenerys didn't trust him, he set her teeth on edge, only a fool would put their faith in him but she needed his talents so long as he remained loyal. She raised an eyebrow, keeping her face impassive as she waited for him to elaborate, knowing he'd already read the ravens contents but choosing to let it slide for now. He nodded and met her gaze,

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"Nothing good I'm afraid. From the North, Brandon Stark to be precise. "

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She frowned, all thoughts eddying from her mind as that name settled in her. Jon's younger brother, the one that somehow survived beyond the wall, a crippled boy thought long dead until he made it home to Winterfell, alive but changed. She remembered the happiness on Jon Snows face the day he received that raven, how he seemed ready to leave with or without her and in her panic she attempted to order him to stay. Her urgent tone revealing her anxiety to her advisors, Tyrion scowling into his wine and a knowing smile from the Kings own hand. Jon Snow simply reminded her he was also a King and could do as he damn well pleased, it aroused her more than it angered her, her desperation for a reason to make him stay now obvious to all as only Missandei would meet her eye. Then came Tyrion's terrible plan, another clever plan that led to death and ruin, the wight hunt and the death of one of her sons. The pain cut like a blade through her chest, her sweetest son who'd sung songs to her whilst perched on her shoulder now lay at the bottom of an ice covered lake. The heartache was still fresh, still breathtaking in its brutality when it took her but she pushed it all to the side as she focused on lord Varys once more, she could show no weakness in front of this man.

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