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Chapter 4:

"If I could love someone again, I swear to do my best this time." Saad ni Nikolai. He really tried his best, sana he will find someone who actually accepts him for who he is. Even if he isn't as expressive as the other guys.

Ilang minuto ang lumipas nang magkausap kami ni Nikolai at sa wakas, dumating na rin si Lucas sa cafe. "Looks like you're both getting along. Had to get my card at home, order na tayo?" Aya ni Lucas nang May ngiti habang nilalabas ang kanyang wallet.

"I can pay for myself. You should treat Nikolai instead." Banggit ko sa kanya habang inaabot ang pera ko. "Cafe Americano and you know my favorite, strawberry waffles." Utos ko kay Lucas.

"I can't possible take some cash from you come on. Keep it." I just glared at him. It's his choice naman. I'll get back to him soon anyways. "Oh. May I know what you and Nikolai talked about pala? If that's okay for me to know of course." Paalam nya bago sya umalis at umorder nang pagkain para sa aming tatlo.

"We talked about his first girlfriend...Aaand a few random things about life. You know, the usual." Paliwanag ko sa kanya at ngumiti, sabay tingin kay Nikolai. Our eyes met and it felt weird to be honest. What's this feeling? I can't seem to understand. "Ehem...So...are you going to order na or what? Gutom na ako!" Reklamo ko para hindi naman awkward masyado ang paligid after namin magkatitigan nang sandali.

"Oorder na nga, miss. You don't have to be so impatient about it." Biro ni Lucas bago sya umalis sa harap namin at pumunta sa counter

Napalingon naman agad ako muli kay Nikolai na nakatingin pa rin sa akin. "May dumi ba sa mukha ko?" Tanong ko sa kanya, kabado kasi baka mayroon na, Hindi nya lang masabi ka agad. "Are you...natutulala ka ba?"

"Oh uhm...I can't help but notice how pretty you are." Bolero. Agad ko naman syang inirapan dahil sa sinabi nya. People call me pretty pero ang gusto ko gwapo ang tingin nila sa akin. "I know you like girls but...I just can't help but compliment you. I respect your preferences, Xerena. Oh and I'm really sorry about yesterday. I know you suddenly got mad because of how I acted. I'm really like that and I know my mistakes. Hindi ko lang talaga marerealize until binanggit yon sa akin ni Lucas."

"I accept your apology. Just be more picky with your words. Padalos dalos ka kasi, it's kinda annoying at some point." At least honest ako sa nararamdaman ko with his actions. But there is something I can't seem to explain. Something my heart fails to understand everytime. Something about him tells me that...I need to help him understand. Pero pano ko magagawa yun kung ako mismo hindi maintindihan ang sarili ko. Emotions are very confusing, I want to understand it but I can't. "Eicelle...Maybe she just wasn't the right fit for you."

"I know that already. No need to say it again...I mean the next can always be better, and I can be the same for the next person." Pangako nya siguro yan sa sarili nya. He was nice, he sounded so sincere about what he is saying. "Don't look at me like that, or I'll melt." Asar nya pa sabay bigay nang isang nakakaasar na ngiti sa mukha nya. Nakakaasar mismo ang mukha nya.

I just brushed it off. Not like it should be something I need to be so concerned about.

I continued to wait on our seat while letting Nikolai talk a lot until I finally saw Lucas approaching us with our food and drinks. "You're finally back. Your brother is so annoying."

"But you seem to get along with him well." Lucas teased and laughed at the both of us. He knows me better than anyone else. "So...the three of us can hang out again next time on a different place. Not just Starbucks because it's starting to get boring. Ilang beses na tayo tumatambay dito, right, Xerena?" Nikolai's expression seem to change at that. What's his deal? I questioned myself but I tried to ignore it.