Just the Beginning

1

ANA

I wake up to my alarm going off. I roll over tiredly and let out a loud yawn before pulling myself up. I rub my eyes, listening to the T.V. downstairs that seems to be on the highest possible volume. The smell of cigarettes' burns my nostrils so much I cover my face.

I guess my mom never went to sleep last night. I'm sure I'll be asked to get another carton on the way from school today.

School. I roll my eyes at the thought of it. Thank god it's my senior year; my last first day. I'm so over it already and it hasn't even started.

I reach for my phone and text Jada to see if she's awake. Jada's my age, we're actually only a couple days off from being birthday twins. Mines on November 5th, hers is on the 8th. We'll be 18 this year. Adults. I can't wait for that either.

Me: hey b, you up?

Jada: yes bitch. Ready for today?

Me: Not at all. You?

Jada: lol. no. When r u leaving?

Me: As soon as I get dressed. Meet you there? Normal spot?

Jada: of course. Gotta beat the newbies to our spots.

I laugh and set the phone down and take a look around my room. It's clean, sort of. It isn't dirty or anything, just not organized in the slightest. My walls haven't been painted since I was a little girl so the one my bed sits on is still bright pink. I hate that. Kills my whole aesthetic.

I guess I should probably tell you my name too? Anastasia Sarai and I'm more of a 'wear all black' type of girl. I grab a pair of jeans that have holes covering both sides. I grab my all black combat boots and toss them on before grabbing a black top with an X'd Smiley face.

I walk into the bathroom, go pee and then stare at myself in the mirror while I wash my hands. I pin my long, wavy dark brown hair back into a claw clip to brush my teeth. Afterwards I brush my hair. I grab my mascara and put a single layer on my eyelashes before applying a hint of black eyeliner under my bright green eyes. I can thank my dad for those. I miss him sometimes but then I remember what he did and I fall back again.

Oh yeah, my dad murdered someone a few years back. Right after my 8th grade year, before freshman year. I used to be this innocent, sweet kid and then things turned. When kids started picking on me.. that's when I became the 'bad girl', the 'mean girl', the girl who protected herself. I lost all of my friends, except for Jada. She always stuck with me, stood up for me when I had no fight for myself. That doesn't happen anymore though, I always have fight in me now. My entire persona changed freshman year, I went from shy and nervous to outspoken and challenging.

"Ana you're gonna be late!" my mom calls out from downstairs. I jump at the sound of her voice not expecting her to parent, to even know what time it is.

"Don't worry," I try not to sound too nasty, "I've got it handled." I grab my book bag, give myself one more look over and head downstairs. And there she is... sitting on the couch. Her bi-polar meds on the table next to the half drank beer. I can visibly see one cigarette smoking in the ashtray while she's actively smoking another, staring at the tv that's still way too loud for 7 in the morning.

"Mom, mom really?" I grab the remote, "we need it so loud?"

"Well you know I can't hear honey," she stands up shakily, "you excited for your senior year?"

"You remembered?" I chuckle a bit. I'm shook. I can't believe it.

"Of course I remembered," she kisses my cheek, "you better get going, you don't wanna be late."

"Right," I nod, "keys?"

"I think they're on the table," she points towards the kitchen. I walk over and grab them, "oh honey can you grab me a pack of cigarettes after school? I only have one more pack left."

"Sure," I agree while heading for the door, "love you, mom."

"I love you," she waved, "be safe." She's in a good mood, she remembered to take her meds which is such a blessing. I won't have to worry about her all day. She'll be fine, won't have any episodes.

I get in the car and head to school where I meet Jada in the parking lot. She comes over with me, "ayyyye what's up!" She reeks of weed but that makes sense considering she's got a joint rolled and ready to go, "here, take this bitch."

I grab it from her and press it to my lips, taking a deep breath in. I start to blow it out, coughing a bit but not too much. We don't talk a whole lot in the car, just listen to music and smoke. It isn't long before the lot starts to fill up and we decide to head inside.