X - Female Assassin

Chapter 8- The road to my first love (flashback)

Numbness. That's all I feel. It's been 7 days since the funeral, 12 days since his death, 63 days since I found out he was dying, and a lifetime of memories. I don't know how I can go on without my Uncle JD. I feel like I can't breathe. He saved me and made me a part of his family. He was the only person who connected me to my biological family. He was my uncle, best friend, protector, teacher, advocate, mentor, the list goes on.

I haven't even been home since he died. I've been staying at his loft taking every assassin job out there. I only saw my family at the funeral and left immediately after. They didn't try talking to me because they knew this hit me the hardest. They all hugged me and gave me a look in silence that said "stay safe" because they knew how I would be handling this grief. I haven't cried since his death. I can't. I won't. I know that once I start I won't be able to stop, so instead I keep busy killing people. It's funny how I avoid dealing with his death by killing people. This is different though, this is for him. We only kill those who deserve it.

My uncle taught me from a young age that taking a life is the most powerful thing you can do after giving life. It is something that should be done with honor. We are sworn to our own assassin code. We kill evil. Yes, my family is in the mafia and has been for generations, but we do not harm the innocent. We own a few different legal and illegal enterprises, but none of them are evil or malicious. We do not harm women or children, we are enemies with any mafias or gangs that do.

I'm in the kitchen making myself a sandwich, blood splattered across my clothes, as my eldest brother Jake, the American mafia Don, walks in. "Jesus Mimi, what the hell," Jake says as he takes a seat across from me. I look at him dead in the eyes, "what? I was hungry. Want one?" He shakes his head, "You can't keep living like this. I've arranged for you to go to Paris for the summer. You just graduated high school and it's your favorite place in the world. You will heal and then in the fall you start college." I slam my hands on the table, "Living like what? This is our life? This is what HE made me? This is what I'm meant to do. What's the point anyway? I'm going to end up back here! So fuck a summer in Paris and fuck school. I don't need it. I don't need anyone!" The rest of my family walks in as I'm screaming with tears in my eyes. "Why!? Why!? Why!? Why do people die when they lived an amazing life. When they had people who loved them. Why do monsters just get to roam this fucking earth. I just want to kill every last one of them. I just want him here. I wasn't done. My time with him wasn't done. I wasn't ready to be on my own. He still had things to teach me. We still had memories to be made!" As I say that last sentence, tears start pouring out of me and my knees buckles. My entire family surrounds me in a group hug with my dad pulling me into his chest. Everyone gets teary eyed as I sob so loud it could be hear around the world. I never cry, so this stings everyone's hearts.

My dad begins to speak, "Oh my princess, you let it all out. We love you and are always here for you. I know this is a great loss for our family. My brother was an amazing person and this will leave a hole in our family, but he wouldn't want us here crying over him. There is always work to be done. We all need to find our own paths to heal and yours is in your favorite city Paris. We have arranged everything. You leave tomorrow and tonight we go home and have a movie night like we used to." I take a deep breath and mutter the lowest okay. I am so drained from the crying that my dad picks me up and we all go back to our family home.

At home, my mom walks into my room as I'm packing. "Hi sweetheart, do you need help with anything," she smiles at me and pats the bed next to her as she sits. I walk over and lean my head against her shoulder, "No. You guys are right, I need to heal in my own way and be in a place that I love with friends. It's too hard being around you guys and being here because everything reminds me of him." My mom lifts my chin to look at her,
"Oh sweetie, everything will remind you of him because he was such a big part of your life. You just learn to think of him when you need and want it. You learn to love everyday remembering and honoring the good times. It won't be easy, but you'll get there. And he taught you a lot more than you think. You'll see." She kisses me on the forehead and walks to the door. "The movie starts in 20, so finish up and come downstairs missy." I look at her leave and chuckle at my mom calling me missy like I'm 8. We watch the movie and have a great time. Tomorrow I leave to Paris for the summer before college.

The next day, I say my goodbyes to my parents and my 3 oldest brothers. All of them squeezing me and kissing me goodbye. My youngest brother, Hunter, drives me to the airport. "You know Mimi, you are going to have a great summer. You will be in your favorite city without anyone looking over your shoulder. Make the most of it. Plus you love the French mafia and they love you. Have fun with your besties and be carefree and young for once." I think about my promise to Uncle JD that I would go to college and have a normal life. I can't break my promise to him, so I might as well start now! "You're right.  I'm going to have the time of my life!" My brother laughs, "as long as you don't do any dirty dancing with anyone." I slap him on the shoulder and laugh as we pull up to the private jet. We get off the car and hug! I walk up the stairs and then look back before boarding, "Tell everyone I said bye losers, have fun entertaining yourselves without the most beautiful, talented, funniest, most entertaining person they know!" He bursts out laughing and just nods. I know he will tell them the exact way I said it too and mimic the attitude because it'll show everyone I've begun my summer of healing. Now let's just see what happens.