𝑃𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑒

Chapter 19 ~ Deserving

Presley

My stomach is feeling sick as I sit here with Greys family knowing that every smile I give them is telling them how I don't want to be here. I feel guilty for feeling that way but ever since I stepped foot onto these grounds I haven't felt like I belonged.

That wasn't at all their fault. They did their absolute best to make me feel welcomed and they are the sweetest people ever. Grey wasn't lying about that.

But my heart, that is barely beating for love, is telling me that I don't belong here. Under a roof full of love and family. Of laughs and happy children. Moms drinking wine and spilling about how messy their kid is.

The boys watching a hockey game that is on and cheering every time their team gets a goal.

I don't belong here. I don't belong in this house. With this sweet family that comes with tradition after tradition. With Greyson.

But I was stuck here. I was stuck pretending that me and Grey were good friends and that I was actually interested in his family.

And I feel like absolute crap faking it. His parents make me feel like their own child. His sister makes me feel like I'm her best friend and I'm a part of the family.

But I'm not. I belong to no one. I don't have a family. I'm not supposed to have a family. I ruined that chance for me.

I take a deep sigh as I look around, that yet again reminds me of how fake I am.

The children are outside playing in the nice treehouse that Greys dad built when they were little. The adults are watching hockey and cuddling up to their significant other while I sit on this couch next to Grey twiddling with my fingers.

I think Grey feels my stiff body because he sits up right and looks me in the eyes. "Hey/" He whispers. He looks as if he had been sleeping. I feel bad for waking him. "Tired?" I ask and he nods in response.

"What's wrong?" He whispers again looking around to see no one is paying attention to us. I shake my head and turn my attention back to the hockey game. I hear him take a deep breath and soon he is standing up, reaching an arm out to me.

I look up at his tall figure and he tilts his head. His eyes make me give in as they twinkle with joy. Something I used to despise because people were too happy.

I grab his hand and he leads us to the other living room. Saying excuse me to the other people we move around. He sits on the couch and pats the seat next to him which I take because I am not in the mood to be stubborn.

"Pres?" His soft voice makes me turn my gaze to him. Those eyes get me every single time. I tell my stupid heart to stop beating so fast and to close on him.

"I'm just tired." I say. He nods in understanding and wastes no time and stands once more, grabbing my hand dragging me upstairs. I don't have time to protest because we are in a room that is filled with pink.

Usually I would gag at it. But I can tolerate this. "This is Rory's old room. She said she was okay with you staying here. We have joined bathrooms so if you need to get to my room it's just through this bathroom." He shows me around like the gentlemen he is.

"Thanks." I look at my suitcase in the corner and start to pick out the things I need to get ready. Grey is already out of the room when I get a chance to get in the bathroom and change.

Once I'm done. I open my door and head back to the room and slump to the bed. Not allowing myself to go back into the same cycle of what I do and don't deserve.

I hear a knock on my door and when I say 'come in', Grey's mom comes in with a smile and a platter. "Hey sweetheart. I brought some tea and cookies since Grey said you were tired and wanted to sleep. But I always offer my guests tea and food." I let out a chuckle.

"Thank you Mrs. Graham. And for letting me stay here." I say genuinely when she places the platter down.

"It's my pleasure really. Grey has never brought a girl home. You're special." She smiles and sits next to me on the bed. I will be honest, I'm not used to being in a deep conversation with someone I just met and I'm definitely too tired to comprehend anything.

She sighs. "You know I may be old but I know when my kid is head over heels. I've seen it happen to my oldest Reece, when I first birthed him, and Abby gave birth to Mayella around the same time. We had no worries because we knew they would be together. With Rory I was worried because- anyways and now she is getting married and I'm so proud of her. And now Grey- Bringing a girl home for the first time... I'm so blessed by it."

I feel my heart soften at her little story. But I keep my gaze to the floor to avoid any tears from falling.

"It's amazing to see how my kids fall in love." Love? I don't know about that-.

"Enough boring chatter. You should sleep... I heard the girls planning to take you out for an adventure. That you need rest dear." She chuckles and stands. "Good night sweetheart." She closes the door behind her.

And for the first time. My eyes let tears fall. For me. And for what I lost. For the motherly love I just felt from Greys mother. For being so stubborn that I don't have the life I could.

With this huge family. But I cannot ever let my guard go down. Because then I might go back to my old ways.