A Beautiful Lie || Jikook

current thoughts and improvements!

hi everyone!

this is the most random update bc I finished this book literally 5 years ago but recently I downloaded wattpad again and I decided to read my own books...

BIG MISTAKE!!!!

GOD its so cringey I can't believe yall let me get away w it, that's insane.

anyways I wanted to bring this up because my writing was confusing at parts but mostly problematic at other parts and it doesn't align with my current beliefs. I think it's important to look back and reflect on your mistakes so hopefully whoever reads this will be open to doing that in the future.

***MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD****

some things to note that i don't agree w anymore:

• the way that jin treated jimin and strung him along:

of course all writers put their own experiences into the things they write and i was only 16/17 when i started writing this particular book. personally I used to think it was fine to have some friends that kind of bossed u around. I was young and didn't realize how that affected my mental health or how I viewed my self worth. If u find that a "friend" constantly messes w ur emotions like that it's best to talk to them about how u feel so they can stop that behavior. if they don't want to then that's okay, you don't need them in your life. it'll definitely hurt at first but you need to put yourself first in these situations.

• the 2jae side relationship:

I love 2jae but why did I write them like this wtf 😭 so my problem was the fact that I had jb blackmail youngjae about how youngjae and yugyeom were together just so jb could get sexy times? and yj complied n ended up falling for him in the process... if that doesn't scream 2017 idk what will. why was I writing so many demented relationships??? obviously if someone's blackmailing u they're a shitty person and the fact that I made jb's reasoning be that he liked yj this entire time 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ regardless of who u r in that dynamic its so hard to figure out if ur feelings r genuine or just fabricated bc of some stupid deal. n afterwards when they made up, how would they trust each other that it won't happen again? it's frustrating and I should've fleshed out their arc more.

• another big thing is the age difference or the student/teacher relationships:

my god i wanted to SCREAM at my past self bc that's so bad what was I thinking???? okay first, in my head I thought it would just be a dramatic plot point so everyone was just fucking their teachers idk honestly. I was too young to understand how wrong it was for these things to not only be in my book but also seen as something positive. if there is a relationship that has an age difference it should be with 2+ people that are fully mature and have come to a better understanding of who they are as human beings. the fact that both tae and yugyeom were minors(17) dating men that were 23ish is repulsive when I look back at it. I used to think there wasn't much of a difference in maturity between high schoolers and people in college/just left college. again I was 17, finishing my senior year so I didn't know that i would grow so drastically between the years 18-22. I am a completely different person every year and i don't think I could ever date someone 18 now that I'm 23. the only case where I'm okay w an age difference is Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis. I bring it up cause they met on set when she was real young(14) but they dated plenty of other people before they started dating. she was 30yrs old when it finally happened and at that age she had already discovered who she is and became more sure of herself and there's no longer the power dynamic when they're grown adults.

• also within the realm of teacher/student relationships I have another bone to pick w myself!! when Mr. min thought jimin looked sexy and decided to force him in a closet...