The Lakes (Steve Rogers AU)

18

Steve had left early for his shift when Nell had woken the next morning, however she wondered whether he was feeling more regret over the situation that had occurred the night before. They had both felt a small sense of awkwardness settle between them after, Steve telling her that perhaps it was a mistake and then both of them called it a night without any resolve.

Now where did they stand?

Nell felt something, and it was clear that he did too - but he was still holding himself back for fear of being hurt, as well as moving on to be with another. She wanted so much to be the one to help him move on, but it was down to him as to whether he would let it happen.

Feeling a little disheartened, she readied herself for work and set off, hoping that things would be ok later on when they were both back home.

"Can I tell you something?" Steve asked Bucky as they sat in the patrol car later on, watching on the speedometer as people drove past. "And don't judge me, ok? Just...I need you to listen without telling me the usual of 'go find a date and be happy'".

Bucky frowned, seeing that his friend looked a little conflicted. He'd been a little quieter than usual this morning and it was clear that something had happened to make him that way. "What is it pal?"

"Nell and I kissed last night..." He said and then saw Bucky open his mouth. "I'm not finished...I think I screwed up already, I stopped it, told her that perhaps it was a mistake. I told her I didn't want to ruin anything".

"Oh geez..." Bucky muttered.

"I know...I messed up, I like her - I really do, I just...I can't stop thinking about her, I ended up sketching her, I thought at that moment I deserved to actually move on and have some happiness again...but then I let my emotions get in the way, about how I'd be betraying Sharon by moving on, and that I'd forget about her..." He sighed. "I hurt Nell...and now she probably thinks...god I don't even know what she thinks of me right now".

Bucky sat there for a moment and then looked to his friend. "You're worried you'll start loving Nell and forget about Sharon". He stated and saw Steve nod. "Have you ever considered that you deserve to be happy after the shit you've been through. Nell's changed you, you're actually cracking smiles again, laughing at even the shittiest of jokes that I make. Don't let the past stand in the way of something good pal. Otherwise, you're gonna lose quite possibly the best and kindest girl you've ever met. And that's not to say that Sharon wasn't, but Nell? She cares about you, even I can see that. You're sketching again from the things she gave to you, to encourage you to put your mind to something in order to stop yourself from falling into that place again...."

"She actually looked at the sketches, every tiny detail she studied. Sharon never did that, and I know I shouldn't compare them..."

"Sharon never gave a crap about your interests though, and I'm gonna say that because even you know she didn't. You and Nell have things in common, she's already supporting you. Don't let something like this slip through your fingers, because you won't have this kind of chance again". Bucky smiled. "And I know I'm one to talk, with my date after date, but if I knew how I felt about someone enough to kiss them? I'd want to take a shot at what could happen instead of running from it".

Steve smirked, now looking at the speedometer as another car passed. "Y'know if Sam heard you say all that, then he'd be ripping you to shit right now".

"Yeah, well he's not here so I can be as sentimental as I wanna be - but I do think Nell needs someone as much as you do". He pointed out. 

His thoughts whirled around in his head. He got off work earlier than she would today, so he would need to do something to make up for messing with her mind with indecisiveness. 

**

Steve was already home when Nell walked in after work, seeing him making some coffee in the kitchen. "Afternoon..." She said quietly. 

He turned. "Nell..." 

"No, it's ok..."

"No, it's not. Look, I need to talk to you, but first, I need you to get changed into warmer clothes. I want to take you somewhere I think you may like". 

She looked sceptical but went and did so all the same, returning to the kitchen some minutes later. "Ok...so where are we going?" 

"A place that I sometimes go to think, but I wanted you to see it at its best time". 

"Ok then". She nodded with a small smile, "let's go". 

Steve drove her to the nearby state park, and to an area that overlooked the lake. The temperatures were cold at this time as they were right near to the mountains, and it wouldn't be long before the lake froze over.  

Now she noted how the sun was beginning to go down, casting watercolour hues of pinks, oranges and blues just melting into one another across the sky, over the mountains and lake itself. 

"Wow..." She breathed. "It's breathtaking..." 

"In the summer the sunsets up here are amazing to watch, it sometimes gets a little too cold in wintertime due to the mountains, but I wanted to show you, and to apologise if I made you uncomfortable last night. It wasn't my intention to, and my mind was conflicted with everything". He told her and paused as she nodded for him to carry on. "When Sharon died, I told myself I wouldn't find love again, that she was the only woman for me. So, I made that promise, and now I find myself breaking it. And that scared me..."  He turned to her. "I don't regret doing what I did last night, but I do regret telling you that it was a mistake...because it wasn't". 

Nell looked at him and smiled. "I just want to know where we stand..."

Steve leant in and rested his forehead against hers. "Well? Right now, we're standing overlooking a pretty great view, and I wanna kiss the prettiest girl standing next to me...right here, right now...I want to give us a chance if you do? Because we won't know until we try." 

She nodded and leant in, kissing him gently as her arms snaked around his neck, his own keeping a hold of her around her waist. Then, she pulled away and grinned up at him. 

"I would never say no to that".