After living with the foster family for a month or so which I will say was awesome...apart from them being catholic. Now don't get me wrong I have nothing against them I just don't agree with their beliefs. So being forced to go to Sunday school in fear of disappointing the foster family. As of writing this I just noticed that I did that. The family had 2 other fosters as well as 1 of their own. The best thing I loved about them was that they had chickens. I would go out every morning to see if chickens laid any eggs. If they did I would get omelets for breakfast. I think that was one of my favorite foods growing up. I try it now and then as a 23 year old but keep over cooking the eggs and making scrambled eggs instead. After the a month or so the SS show up and say its time to go back to Gem and Gallus. I really didn't want to but they said things have changed. My naive ass believed them and went with it.
After getting back to Gallus and Gem things did looked actually changed. I now had a closed sleeping area where as before I lived in their living room that was off to the side of the dining room. Should have mentioned that we had moved into Gem's mothers place before the whole 100 smacks thing happened. Was right next to the fire place so I kinda felt like Cinderella in that sense. Through my childhood my aesthetic had always been pretty in pink and Disney princesses. That song "Mad at Disney" now comes to mind as my childish brain still wished for someone to save me. if you really wanna know how I cope this far was by ignoring it and enveloping myself in my own fantasy world. When Bridge to Terabithia released I was so fascinated by it for some reason. I think it was because the of the abnormal female protagonist was very much like me or something. I had to read the whole book first because that was Gallus sorry excuse to help me with my English as I still wasn't any good. We stayed at Gem's mothers for a while and this is where things got...very complicated. I think the worst bit about sleeping in the living room was the fact that Gem's mother smoked something vile. To this day I'm not sure if it was weed or something else but it smelled awful. That at 5 in the morning always got annoying. But, ya know, I put up with it.
TRIGGER WARNING for anyone who's dealt with Sexual assault.
Now writing this I realized it did start when I was 8 that Gallus started to make sexual advances onto me. It was only little at first as Gem and her parents were still around. It didn't get bad till we moved out into another place far from their parents. It got more frequent but still at the same level. It got to the point of Gem knew something was going on but didn't know what. She backed me into a corner and told me to tell her so I did. Gallus told me not to tell anyone about what he was doing but I knew I couldn't hide it any longer. When Gallus got home that night Gem confronted him and he came out with it. Both wanted me to stay with them when they split but I was gas lighted by both that I ended up with Gallus. After Gem left fully it then got worse. Gallus would start drinking a lot more than usual. I know this sounds like a typical story but guy couldn't keep a job, keep up with rent or hold a relationship because no one could handle him. Looking back on it still makes me sick because of how he acted. He knew I would do anything to please him...He trained me to be a good little girl and that's exactly what happened. I still had my someone will come to save me complex and all I had to do was wait. After a year of learning to read Gallus mood the moment he walked into the house, stealing or begging for food and doing unspeakable things that I hate that I can remember I got to the point of spending nights at other friends house constantly to avoid him.
