A Lost Ghost

Chapter 14: Get Up

    Pins and needles burst from my limbs as my eyes slowly open. My head lolls sideways as I draw a slow, sluggish breath, mumbling unintelligibly. I slowly pull my heavy head up. My eyes draw to the car's brake lights in front of us. I dig my fingers into the fabric of my pants, feeling nothing but the prickle of pins and needles. The air rips itself from my lungs as I feel a gun press into my ribs. I look over. Mei-Xing glares at me. My eyes follow her arm until I see my pistol in her hands. The same pistol she claimed to have been frozen in ice.

"Don't move," she growls. I pull my eyes forward. My vision is covered in a blurry fog, but I can just make out a line of cars leading to a checkpoint. Soldiers stop the vehicles in front of us, forcing them to show their IDs and ordering some to get out of their car. My heart contracts in my rib cage.

"Wh—what would your dad th—think?"

"Don't talk either!"

My eyes dart between her and my gun. Would she actually pull the trigger? Doesn't matter. I would rather bleed out right here and now than be captured. I grab her wrist, pushing the gun up toward my forehead. I lean forward and let the cool muzzle rest against my temple. She gasps but doesn't shoot. She stares into my eyes; her brows are furrowed, the look of anger still prevalent, but there's a slight twinkle of fear in her flint gaze. I tighten my grip around her wrist.

"Explain to him...why my blood is on your hands. Explain to him why it's on your face, your clothes, why the car is drenched in it. Killing someone...seeing someone die...is a lot messier than you think."

Her lips quiver, her eyes narrowing into slits. I can't explain it, but there's a shift in her gaze. She's not gonna shoot. I let go of her wrist and push open the car door. As soon as my legs hit the ground, my mind spins. I hear yelling and shouting from behind me, a mixture of Mandarin and Russian voices. I falter into the woods, stumbling over my own feet. My lungs tighten as I run. I can barely breathe. Pain explodes from my leg. I don't look back to see how close the soldiers are. The trees are morphing up and down like waves. The ground shifts beneath my feet. I step down, and something cracks beneath me. The earth swallows me whole. I'm airborne for a few seconds before slamming into the frozen ground. The air escapes my lungs. My chest tightens as the breath gets knocked out of me. I choke, trying my hardest to take in air, but nothing is coming in. Finally, my airway opens, and I suck in a lungful of air. I lay still on my back, staring up into the grey sky. I glance around, seeing that I'm in a sinkhole. The soldiers move overhead. I can hear them talking but nothing is understandable. The sky above me spins. The feeling in my fingers slowly dissipates. An eerie, warm feeling swallows my body whole. I close my eyes and let the darkness take over again.

"Miles?"

I open my eyes to see myself standing in my old house. The furniture is gone. The TV is gone. The room is completely bare. It looks just like it did the day my mom gutted it out and left. I look down, seeing that I'm wearing the same clothes I wore that day, too. A flannel jacket and black pants. "Miles?"

I turn, and my breath hitches, my eyes narrowing as I stare at her.

"Mom?"

She smiles at me and opens her arms for a hug. My fingers curl into a tight fist. I don't move towards her. Her lips twist into a frown as she lets her arms hang by her side.

"You're breaking my heart, you know?"

I scoff.

"You broke mine first."

I clench my jaw as the tears swell in my eyes. I grit my teeth until my jaw aches.

"Why? Why did you do it?"

She cocks her head to the side and slowly shakes her head. I wait for a solid minute for her to answer, but she just stares at me, a look of pity painted on her face. "You took away the only source of happiness in my life. I haven't seen Dad or the rest of my family in fifteen years. You never even gave me a real answer for why you did it."

She sighs and slowly walks towards me. I want to move, to turn away as she cups my face, but I don't.

"If you're scared of doing something, you just have to do it scared."

I roll my eyes and pull away.

"I am so friggin' sick of that answer! It doesn't explain anything! It doesn't explain why you packed up and left. It doesn't explain why you broke Dad! It doesn't explain why you isolated me from the only people I cared about! So please, stop feeding me that crap!"

Her dark eyes drift towards the floor. She shrugs.

"It's the only way I can explain it."

I chuckle and shake my head, throwing my arms up in exasperation.

"Of course."

I glance around the room, trying to figure out why I'm here. Why Mom is here. "Am I dead?"

As soon as I say that, the air thins. The cold swallows me whole. I can see bits of snow drizzling from the ceiling. My eyes narrow as I look forward, my mom nowhere in sight.

"Nobody is coming to save you this time," she says. The room collapses into darkness. I open my eyes again to see the night sky. To see the pit I'm lying in. "Get up."

I curl my fingers into the frozen dirt. My fingers are stiff, almost frozen, it feels like. I want to get up, to climb out of this pit. But I'm afraid of what part of my body is injured now. I'm afraid that I might've popped a stitch. I'm afraid that if I climb out of here, Russian or Chinese soldiers will be waiting for me.

Just do it scared, comes my mother's voice. I take in a deep breath and swallow hard. I'm dead if I stay down here. I groan as I sit up. My back aches, but it doesn't hurt too bad. I glance down at my leg and gently run my fingers across the bandage. It doesn't feel particularly warm or liquidy like I've been bleeding. It doesn't hurt either, which I'm hoping means that I didn't pop a stitch. I look out of the hole again. Who knows if I can even get out. It's probably around seven feet deep, a whole foot taller than me. I suck in a sharp breath as I stand to my feet. I pick up my book bag and throw it over the edge. I take in another deep breath.

I can do this. I can do this.

I walk to the wall and jump. I latch onto the pit's edge, my fingers sinking into the frozen soil. I squeeze my eyes shut as I struggle to pull up the rest of my body. I kick my boots into the wall, finding a rock lodged in the soil. I push up and hurl my body over the edge. I take in deep breaths and crawl the rest of the way out. I glance around as I pick my book bag up and throw it over my shoulder. All I see is mountains. I don't know if all mountains look alike; they probably do, but something about these reminds me of the Stanovoy Mountains. Was I back in Russia? It would make sense for Mei-Xing to bring me back here. Especially since we were super close to the border. My heart pounds at the thought of her. Part of me really hopes she gets arrested or killed; I don't care what. I just want her to suffer for what she did to me. Then, the other part of me hopes she's still alive. For Cheung and Daiyu's sake. I shake the thought out of my head and start to tackle the other thought that looms. Where am I? Where is the Mongolian border from here? I'm basically back at square one. How do I get out of here now? I squeeze my eyes shut, fighting the urge to scream out, to curse the world. I take in deep breaths, trying to calm myself. The only thing I can do now is move forward. The Russians can't be far behind.

You can do this, Binky. Remember your training.

I quickly set my book bag down and rummage through it until I find my compass. I look into the clear sky and use the North Star as my guide. I know Mongolia is southwest of the Stanovoy mountain range. I turn in a circle until I'm facing southwest. It's a shot in the dark, especially since I'm not even sure if I'm in the Stanovoy Mountains...but it's the only shot I've got. I pick up my bookbag and a long, thick stick to use as a crutch and a weapon. It's no high-powered rifle...but it's better than nothing.