I try to bury my past, using every
new pen I get as a shovel,
but no matter how many gravesites
I fill up with bodies
their ghosts still manage to haunt me
I still see their blood in my hands even after I wash it off.
Their future has become an engraved
memory in my mind, that I can't seem
to get rid off
Their presence is something I still feel even after I said " I let them go"
This just proves that, I tend to hold on onto things that act as a painful reminder of what I have been through
Maybe that also explains my attraction to people who are mentally and emotionally abusive.
You know on some days I'm happy
with myself
And one some days I want to kill myself
That's what it feels like - depression
a joystick controlling your point of view on life
killing everything that brought you happiness with just a wave of one emotion - sadness
Although I keep telling myself that
I'll get better, I'll heal , I'll be me once more
Life still manages to throw curve balls at me
Curve balls that always remind me that I'm orphaned due to the death of my grandfather
Curve balls that remind me that
I am failing to pursue my calling because the church said it's demonic
But I'll be okay right?
YOU ARE READING
AFTER THE TRAUMA ||
PoetryWhen writing this book I was hoping that I would have healed from all the trauma that I have experienced , but to be honest I am still in the same place I was in three years ago- depressed and overly anxious. However,I hope you find healing in knowi...
