murky waters | carl grimes¹

42. deanna

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"She did this. It was all her and Glenn. Aidan was trying to save us, from a roamer, by shooting at it. But Glenn distracted him. Lennox tried to get us to run but I didn't want to leave him. I wasn't going to leave him," Nicholas. 

"What about Tara?" Deanna. 

"I wasn't going to leave her. Then when we got into the lobby... he was hitting on the glass. Pushing my door open. Lennox shot the door open only on their side. They were going to leave me there. They were going to kill me. Or they were trying to. Or they just didn't care. And if I didn't push back, I'd be dead, too," Nicholas. 

"What about Lennox? Her stab wound?" Deanna.

"Lennox, she-she... she tried to stab me. Finish me off so I wouldn't tell you about what happened. She forced me to fight back. I would have died if I didn't push the knife back into her," Nicholas. 

"They, they did this. It was them," Nicholas. 

"But you all came back together. How did that happen?" Deanna. 

"Mom what are you doing?" Spencer. 

"We have to do this. We have to do this now," Deanna. 

"No guns. No going outside the walls. The same goes for Glenn and Lennox until I finish looking into this." Deanna. 

"What do you need to look into? I-- I'm telling you how it went down. These people have to go. They are not like us! I know you see it too." Nicholas. 

"You don't know what I see, Nicholas," Deanna. 

"And I see a great deal," Deanna. 

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"We took off as a group of three, I didn't want to leave them alone. Two of the dead came up to us, fully dressed in gear. I tried to teach them how to take the walkers out but Aidan began to shoot at them. Then the explosion happened." Lennox. 

"I was knocked out for a second, when I came around again I was pressed under one of them. I listened to Nicholas as he told my people that I was dead, that he saw it happen. When I got up, I followed them into the lobby." Lennox. 

"Tara?" Deanna. 

"I didn't know she was hurt until Noah told me inside the doors." Lennox. 

"Noah and I got into the same side. The walkers... they were pushing against us. Glenn had us hold the doors still as he tried to break open the glass to get to the ammo. I had one bullet left. So I shot the glass out. I told Noah to go first but he wouldn't. I was climbing through it whenever Nicholas ran. I fell into the glass. Ask Pete, he pulled the glass out of me. The doors shifted and Glenn and I tried to hold on to Noah." Lennox. 

"You couldn't save him?" Deanna. 

"No, Nicholas ran for it and let the walkers grab him. Glenn and I were pulling him back when one of them took a bite out of his leg. He let go." Lennox. 

"I'm sorry for your loss." Deanna. 

"I went after Nicholas. I won't lie. I wanted him dead too. He killed Noah, he left Aidan alive." Lennox. 

"He left Aidan alive?" Deanna. 

"I don't know what lead up to it but when I went to leave... I saw him. The walkers eating at him. He was still alive. I shot him, he didn't deserve to suffer like that... Not like Noah did." Lennox. 

"Oh." Deanna. 

"I'm sorry. Aidan, he didn't deserve to die like that. No one does. He was just trying to protect us from the walker." Lennox. 

"Please, continue." Deanna. 

"Nicholas was throwing Eugene out of the van and I came up from behind and I stopped him. He threw me against the van and I pulled my knife. I shouldn't have but I didn't have the advantage and he was punching me. He turned the knife and stabbed me. Glenn grabbed him before it became lethal." Lennox. 

"Glenn told me that even after what happened with Nicholas-- that in order to survive we had to learn to live together. Yes, I did try to take my rage out on Nicholas after Noah but-- I didn't. I wouldn't if he was here now. I had just watched my friend get torn apart in front of me. Something that didn't need to happen." Lennox. 

"Thank you for speaking with me, Lennox. I appreciate your honesty," Deanna. 

"I want us to be able to work together. You never got to see how well Glenn and I do together out there. I want to help build up this community, keep it stocked." Lennox. 

"Thank you, Lennox, that is all." Deanna. 

"I am sorry, truly. I lost my parents out there and if I lost Talia, I don't know what I would do. Aidan, well, he was your son. No parent should live to see their child's grave. I wish I could have stopped it, Deanna. I would if I could have." Lennox. 

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