[COMPLETE]
When Hanna Haddad embarks on what's supposed to be another uneventful summer as a lifeguard on Cape Cod, a trip to the past comes as an unnerving surprise. The discovery of her estranged mother's journal opens up the world of tragedy and...
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"Are you sure you want to do this, Hanna?"
Stella stood before me in my doorway, hands locked on my shoulders in anticipation. I released a shaky breath, wishing she would just stop asking me that question. I'd already deescalated an anxiety attack in the bathroom ten minutes before, still tasting bile in my throat.
"Yeah, I am. Let's go, Stella." I didn't wait for a response, trekking down the front lawn to my Jeep parked in the street.
Stella hurried after me and tripped on a rock concealed by overgrown grass. I snorted in laughter at her pain, feeling less tense about this whole ordeal for the first time since I'd committed to it.
"I'm not as scared to see her for the first time in two years," I began once we'd settled into the car, "as I am about her not wanting to see me."
"Are you sure you shouldn't have called her beforehand?"
She maintained her loose grip on my arm, pity washing over her face. I didn't want pity; I wanted moral support. I shook my head and headed down the road of my neighborhood, never once looking back.
It was a long drive to my mother's house: a three-bedroom colonial in a quaint Boston suburb. I'd memorized the route by heart, remembering it from the years my father would drive me there on the weekends. The route of sadness, I'd called it, because I would always dread going there but wished I'd never have to leave come Sunday night.
"This reunion is long overdue," I declared once the Cape was a distant memory. "The biggest mistake I ever made was believing all of my father's bullshit."
"Hopefully there isn't any more," she mumbled, nodding in agreement. "You're one more bad thing away from exploding."
We spent the rest of the car ride in silence, save for the soft sound of throwback hits playing on the radio. Halfway to Boston, I considered making a U-turn and speeding back to Falmouth. Stella was right; I should have informed my mother of my visit. What if I opened the door and Cassandra's male counterpart appeared on the other side? What if she opened the door and slammed it in my face?
What if I found no one there at all?
"Hey, relax," Stella murmured, sending me a comforting smile. "It's just your mom. I bet when you finally meet again it'll be like no time has passed at all. She loves you, Hanna."
"I'm sure she loves me," I grumbled, growing even angrier from the line of traffic in front of me. "I just doubt she loves the version of me who's pretended like she doesn't exist for two years."
"You had your reasons," she countered, rolling down her window to let the cool breeze in. Late August was a strange time in Massachusetts, a time when summer and fall battled for first place. Today felt like the first day of autumn. "Besides, a relationship has two sides. She didn't do her part either."
