El Dormitorio
Phillipa
The last day of November falls on a Wednesday and the day resumes the usual for me. In the morning, I attend classes then afterward, cherish some alone time in the dormitory at noon, and will be back at school for the play rehearsals on the afternoon. This has been a routine I've pretty much become used to that I never anticipated the surprise that was coming along my way that same afternoon.
I was on the way to the school from the dormitory when I decided I'll withdraw my remaining monthly allowance from my savings account, and by doing so I need to walk three blocks away between the school and the dormitory.
Much to my disappointment, the ATM situated the nearest in my dormitory is broken, so I had to walk two more blocks to get to the other nearest machine.
When I arrived there, I was relieved that the machine is working, only there was a line of three people before me. I patiently waited in line, and when I was the second in line before the young man withdrew, we heard a patrol police soft siren from behind, followed by another, and another car.
Once I finished withdrawing, the series of cars driving along the street got the best of my attention. It leads to the far end of the street, to where the stores are at. Acting upon it, and seeing that I have little extra time, I stroll down the street and saw more cars parked outside a certain boutique store.
The cars were all stalled and aligned across the street and a huge circle of the crowd was surrounding the area. There must be someone famous inside the store for these many people to wait outside.
For some reason, the Princess crossed my mind but knowing that she's still in Wales got me curious to know who it might be. It might be a local celebrity or a foreign one visiting Madrid, and the people are really jumping off their feet and wrangling with their mobile phones to catch and get closer to where the "celebrity" car is at.
I realized I was still listening to my Bluetooth earphone, so I was not able to hear clearly who they are calling out in space. I walked even further, as my curiosity got the best of me, taking off the earphone, and when I finally reached the pedestrian gate deck I was surprised to see a car pulling up in front of a store, and recognize some familiar men in their uniform.
Later, much to my heart's wilting anticipation of trying to figure out who it was from the Royal Family, the store's door opened up, and there came out Leonor, on her pink dress waving to the crowd, and my heart was in joy finally seeing her again after a month.
Leonor. - she's back - she's here.
Rushed by the overwhelming feeling of excitement, and forgetting about the crowd shouting desperately around me, I tried to climb off that short gate deck and tried my best to get closer to where the Princess is, wanting to wave her a simple Hi and wanting her to see me and stop by to greet me back. It has not been easy because as soon as I climbed off the gate deck, and got crushed by bodies, it took me a few minutes trying to get through before I can see where Leonor is at once again.
She's still waving to the crowd, some she shakes hands with, smiling, cameras flashing, her bodyguards keeping a safe distance away.
When I finally managed to get closer to her even further, I started calling out her name, my head going left and right trying to make sure I don't bump heads with anyone in the crowd. I tried calling out her name once again, now much louder; but it disappeared in the air, getting drowned out by the others voices calling out her name as well.
I can barely see her at this time, as the commotion goes much stronger, wider, populated, and I tried calling her once again, but it was to no avail - she can't hear me from all the noise.
I pushed through the sea of bodies and my hopes got high as I was just two people away from her. She continue to wave and shake people's hands, and at the top of my lungs I called her once again and reached out my hands to hers, but a sudden whisk of cameras dangling between the space of my fingertips inches away from her made it a meter and so, and I was then pulled farther away by the crowd.
The flashes of the cameras got my eyes blurry and I felt being moved farther away, my ears ringing from all the noise and shouts, and when I opened my eyes once again I can see Leonor waving to the crowd for what seemed like the last time, and at this moment, I watch as I got lost drowned in the stifling reality that places me with her, the crowd, seeing her distance away from me, my voice unrecognized and unheard, my presence non-existing in her awareness at this very hour - watching this all as got me silent and staring off the space for a few seconds, and the realization came to me like a slap in the face,
I'm just like everyone else.
The cameras continue to flash as if snapping me from a long dream I've been in.
She won't see me...
The crowd kept shouting her name, and I felt my feet getting pushed farther back away, my heart beating and dropping down watching the people desperately try to get her attention or her hands to be held, or to be touched, to be seen by her.
—the way I see her - the way the world sees her.
My heart swells at the realization, and as if seeing my heart through my eyes, I docked my head and tries to heave a deep breath, trying to breathe through the sudden heaviness in my chest.
When I look up, she was casting the crowd a farewell smile, that crooked smile I know so well, I missed so well, and through the blurry sight, I watch as her blue eyes sparkles at every flash from all over the place,
Later the guards blocked the view and had her safely enter the waiting car, and the crowd gets wild getting closer, cameras gushing through what had been the distance between them and the princess, and they followed as the car starts moving away, and I with a resign sigh watch as it further drove away, leaving the people taking their last glimpse of the princess inside the car.
As the image of the car fades into the distance, so were the emotions I've had inside pulling apart in pieces. I walked away from the crowd and pulled up my sweater, my head hung, and quietly stroll down the streets, trying to get my head around what I just realized. At this point, I had no idea how I quickly reached the University, I was kind of surprised to see the familiar gate.
I take a look at the entrance and saw how normal the day was for everyone. Somehow, the gnawing feeling inside me reminded me that I belong in this kind of normal - the kind that steers away from what normal is from the past weeks I've shared with the princess.
This fills my head as I enter the university and absentmindedly greeted back the people who greeted me on the way in. I climbed up the stairs leading to the theater room, where the cast are talking to one another and simply smiles at me when I join them on the stage.
I went straight to the staging table and pick a copy of the script, and directly settled in my seat in the front row of the theater seat, beside Salome, who, thankfully, didn't ask me how I was. She just gave me a smile and a nod and asked the cast to settle back to their places, for the final part of the play we're practicing.
I tried to focus on the script at hand, reading my own words on the paper, but the same realization still gets through to me. Leonor's blue eyes, crooked smile, the night she laid her head on my shoulder – all of this came replaying back in my mind that I didn't even notice that the cast is calling out my name.
