FOR ALL WE KNOW, regulus black

1. sadie lupin takes a train

Breath in. Breath out.

C'mon, Remus told you how to do it about a thousand times now. He wouldn't have told you if it was something that could get you hurt, right?

Right?

Sadie tightens her grip on the trolley she's been strolling back and forth, quite unsure of what to do. She raises her head and looks again at the wall between Platform 9 and Platform 10 of King's Cross Station. There's no way she's getting there.

Big breath in. Big breath out.

"Oi! Are you okay?" She hears a feminine voice approaching her.

She analyzes the girl standing at her side with a concerned look on her face. Her black, curly hair contrast the knitted blue sweater she's wearing. Last muggle-fashion bell bottoms jeans with a pair of black boots are slimming her legs. Sadie knows she recognizes her from somewhere, but she can't really put her finger on where.

"Are you going to Hogwarts?" Sadie asks, quietly, eyeing the owl's cage on top of the other's girl trolley.

"Oh Merlin! How did you notice?" She jokingly replies, faking a shocked expression.

"First time?"

Sadie nods, feeling embarrassed. She's fourteen, has been doing magic for basically all of her life, yet she's scared to run through an enchanted wall.

"My first time I almost pissed my trousers because of fear." She reminisces, setting up her feet. "The secret is to just close your eyes and run."

"Are you sure?"

She shrugs, "Follow me and you'll see."

Sadie watches as the girl looks around, making sure that muggles are not looking at her, just to start running before disappearing into the wall.

Now she knows she can trust her. She closes her eyes, and yet another big breath. Her legs start moving faster and faster, until she feels a strange sensation around her, as if she's running through something slimey.

"See? It wasn't that hard!" The girl offers a wide smile as Sadie finally opens one eye, then the other.

Eveywhere she looks is packed with witches and wizards of every age. People are frantically saying goodbye: parents are tearing up, hugging their children so strongly Sadie wonders how will they ever get out of that grip.

"My name's Mary, by the way. Mary Macdonald from Gryffindor." The girl proudly gives Sadie her hand, "And you are?"

Sadie happily shook it. "I'm Sadie Lupin! I think you'd know my brother, Remus."

Mary snorts, looking at her as if she had said something out of this world. "Remus's sister is at Beauxbatons, everyone knows. Find a better lie, yeah? C'mon, you are?"

"Trust me, I don't even know why I'm here. Got my letter last month. No explanation."  Sadie tries to explain, as she lightly swings a hand on her trousers to dust them off.

"You can't actually be serious."

"No, I'm Sirius!"

A black haired guy arrives, laughs, and swings his arm around Mary's shoulder, placing a kiss on her cheek. He brings his sunglasses up to his head, so the slight curls won't get on his face.

"Oh, shut it Black!" Mary replies to his poor joke, rolling her eyes. "Where are the other three? Merlin knows you can barely survive two seconds without each other."

"Bloody hell, Mary! It has been past two seconds already! Why do I feel like my heart– My heart is–" Black pretends to faint, dropping all of his weight on Mary, who slightly pushes him aside and groins.

Now Sadie is sure: her brother must be somewhere near, if Sirius Black is here.

Sadie and Remus used to be closest of siblings, but that was until 1968; that year Hope, their mother, took her to France with her. She had a few relatives there, and they could continue living a happy little muggle life, far away from Lyall Lupin. At least that was what her mother said with a broken voice, on the first of the many hours of driving.

She wanted to get her away from magic, and if she could've she would've taken Remus too, but him being bitten by a werewolf just a few years prior wasn't really in the plan. Sadie understood her. She had a few, kind of faded memories of her father, and they were happy ones, but only until his brother was bitten. From there it was all changed: from a loving, caring father, to a cold one who never spent a day at home if he could be at work.

Sadie knew he hadn't change, even after her mother and her got away from home that night – Her and Remus were way too close to not keep even the slightest bond. They owled each other whenever they could, and the letters only increased once he got in Hogwarts, and even more once she got into Beauxbatons. Both siblings knew every little detail of the other's life, in and out of school.

"Oi! Remus! She says she's your sister!" Sadie hears Black shouting, his head turned around.

"I don't say I'm his sister, I actually am!" Sadie replies hastily. She has never been the patient type.

"Oh yeah, she's supposed to be here any minute now– Didi!" Her brother's voice is louder as he approaches the group, in the middle of who she assumes are Peter Pettigrew and James Potter.

Suddenly Sadie's arms are wrapped around Remus's neck. Now she understands those families from before – they can breathe perfectly fine in that tight grip, and Merlin knows she doesn't feel like she can ever leave that hug.

"Don't call me that," Sadie lets go of Remus's neck, drying her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffling in between words, "I'm not seven anymore."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. As long as you're younger than me that's the name you get!" He smiles, lightly ruffling her hair. He always used to that when they were little – at first it was to annoy her, she'd sigh and tell him how long she spent on making her hair perfect; then, with time, it became how Remus showed his affection. It was kind of a secret, special language. "I can't believe how much you've grown up." He adds in disbelief.

"Me?" Sadie laughs, "You're like six meters tall now!"

A loud whistle breaks the sound of the voice of every single person on that platform. It means only one thing: time to get on the train, or they're leaving you here.

"This is cute and all," Mary starts, "But we really have to get going now. We'll finish all of this mushy fussy stuff on the train, yeah?"

She's holding onto the pole of one of the entrances, signaling with her hands to get on quickly. Sadie walks up the few steps to get one the train, and looks back at her brother.

He's become tall, really tall, and the boyish features she knew had grown into the face of a young man. She suddenly feels as if all the things she knew about him are gone; how could this actual man be her brother? His face is not the one she used to recognize in every picture he sent.

His friends are goofing around with him, as they push each other on and off the train, and it all feels distant. Like she's not supposed to be here. She's not actually part of his family anymore, hasn't been for years. And he isn't part of hers either. Family is aunt Chloé, aunt Margaret and uncle Antoine. Family is mom, Hope Howell. No one else.

This right here feels as if she just tried to get into an already perfectly working environment, and she's gonna ruin it.

She has a gut feeling, Sadie feels it in her bones: her being at Hogwarts is going to be a big mistake.